My husband refuse to communicate... Is it the time to end?





  • Is it his character ?



  • Tomorrow is our 2nd anniversary... But I just feeling I couldn't communicate with him anymore. .. He doesn't care any thing ... I feel very sun fu to be with him



  • what have happen??



  • Anyone care share some thoughts?



  • oh what a pity





    how long u hv been with him a together?



  • 我果時對條女有不滿, 但佢又唔肯好好傾, 又話出到黎唔想提d唔開心既事, 我就屈屈埋埋, 大家無計傾.



  • Hi Man,





    Thanks for asking..... Marriage isn't something easy to manage.





    From the surface, he seems to be easy to get along with. But only at a general social level... But deep inside he's poor in expressing himself.... When you question him, he only knows how to say yes







  • 2nd anniversary only, how can you be with him for the rest of your life?





    Time to have a serious talk, the longer you leave it the more you lose out.



  • Jenny replied at 2014-01-19 1:23 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    Hi Man,





    Thanks for asking..... Marriage isn't something easy to manage.





    From the surface, he seems to be easy to get along with. But only at a general social level... But deep inside he's poor in expressing himself.... When you question him, he only knows how to say yes





    ===============================================================


    The problem is he's not willing to face his problem.... He is a Master graduate.... But as simple as signing a contract, he doesn't bother to read at all... I talked to him many times.... He still like this





    And now, he gets mad for similar things.... I feel very exhausted.



  • yes jenny, end him. i can fuxk you like whatever you wanna be haha



  • Lady replied at 2014-01-19 1:24 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    2nd anniversary only, how can you be with him for the rest of your life?





    Time to have a serious talk, the longer you leave it the more you lose out.


    ===============================================================


    Lady,





    I totally agree with you, so after so many incidents happened, I finally think we need to sit down and talk.





    But he gets mad all in a sudden and think is not necessary to talk... I just dunno how to be with him.





    He likes to keep his weird thinkings on his own. He jst couldn't support his decision or tell me the reasoning behind it



  • 拍左幾耐拖先結婚??





    佢今次跌跌撞撞, 有冇機會成長??



  • man replied at 2014-01-19 1:30 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    拍左幾耐拖先結婚??





    佢今次跌跌撞撞, 有冇機會成長??


    ===============================================================


    佢好似無諗過人係需要成長



  • shinny replied at 2014-01-19 1:31 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    man replied at 2014-01-19 1:30 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    拍左幾耐拖先結婚??





    佢今次跌跌撞撞, 有冇機會成長??


    ===============================================================


    佢好似無諗過人係需要成長


    ===============================================================




  • shinny replied at 2014-01-19 1:31 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    man replied at 2014-01-19 1:30 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    拍左幾耐拖先結婚??





    佢今次跌跌撞撞, 有冇機會成長??


    ===============================================================


    佢好似無諗過人係需要成長


    ===============================================================


    我之前同佢拍咗叫做五年long d relationship. 1st few months we lived together, I found these problems... He promised me will change but as result.... Nothing changed.



  • shinny replied at 2014-01-19 1:30 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    Lady replied at 2014-01-19 1:24 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    2nd anniversary only, how can you be with him for the rest of your life?





    Time to have a serious talk, the longer you leave it the more you lose out.


    ===============================================================


    Lady,





    I totally agree with you, so after so many incidents happened, I finally think we need to sit down and talk.





    But he gets mad all in a sudden and think is not necessary to talk... I just dunno how to be with him.





    He likes to keep his weird thinkings on his own. He jst couldn't support his decision or tell me the reasoning behind it


    ===============================================================


    He got mad so you will leave him alone, some guys just don't like to explain himself or he has some kind of secrets, so the more he answer the more he gave the game away.







  • smartbad replied at 2014-01-19 1:20 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    oh what a pity





    how long u hv been with him a together?


    ===============================================================


    5 years long d. Maybe I should end much earlier



  • shinny replied at 2014-01-19 1:30 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    Lady replied at 2014-01-19 1:24 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    2nd anniversary only, how can you be with him for the rest of your life?





    Time to have a serious talk, the longer you leave it the more you lose out.


    ===============================================================


    Lady,





    I totally agree with you, so after so many incidents happened, I finally think we need to sit down and talk.





    But he gets mad all in a sudden and think is not necessary to talk... I just dunno how to be with him.





    He likes to keep his weird thinkings on his own. He jst couldn't support his decision or tell me the reasoning behind it


    ===============================================================





    少同人商量, 妥協既人, 好難三言兩語改變佢地決定做既事.


    人年紀越大, 越有自己主見, 更加難改.



  • Lady replied at 2014-01-19 1:34 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    shinny replied at 2014-01-19 1:30 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    Lady replied at 2014-01-19 1:24 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    2nd anniversary only, how can you be with him for the rest of your life?





    Time to have a serious talk, the longer you leave it the more you lose out.


    ===============================================================


    Lady,





    I totally agree with you, so after so many incidents happened, I finally think we need to sit down and talk.





    But he gets mad all in a sudden and think is not necessary to talk... I just dunno how to be with him.





    He likes to keep his weird thinkings on his own. He jst couldn't support his decision or tell me the reasoning behind it


    ===============================================================


    He got mad so you will leave him alone, some guys just don't like to explain himself or he has some kind of secrets, so the more he answer the more he gave the game away.





    ===============================================================yes, we are now I different room. But I just think there is no way to help. From time to time I email him about what I'm thing and how to improve our relationship. But he's just not willing to face there are problems




  • man replied at 2014-01-19 1:35 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    shinny replied at 2014-01-19 1:30 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    Lady replied at 2014-01-19 1:24 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    2nd anniversary only, how can you be with him for the rest of your life?





    Time to have a serious talk, the longer you leave it the more you lose out.


    ===============================================================


    Lady,





    I totally agree with you, so after so many incidents happened, I finally think we need to sit down and talk.





    But he gets mad all in a sudden and think is not necessary to talk... I just dunno how to be with him.





    He likes to keep his weird thinkings on his own. He jst couldn't support his decision or tell me the reasoning behind it


    ===============================================================





    少同人商量, 妥協既人, 好難三言兩語改變佢地決定做既事.


    人年紀越大, 越有自己主見, 更加難改.


    ===============================================================因為同佢平心靜氣傾都唔聽跟住仲發脾氣


    我只可以同佢講不如分開




  • 唯有嘗試下唔好再提呢個問題, 記憶返大家相愛甜蜜既時光, 睇下大家仲可唔可以好似以前咁愛對方.



  • ===============================================================yes, we are now I different room. But I just think there is no way to help. From time to time I email him about what I'm thing and how to improve our relationship. But he's just not willing to face there are problems


    ---------------------------------





    That's bad, is like separation already. Threaten him with divorce, that's the ultimatum, see his reaction, if still the same I think you should know what to do, luckily, you don't have any kids yet.




  • shinny replied at 2014-01-19 1:41 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    man replied at 2014-01-19 1:35 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    shinny replied at 2014-01-19 1:30 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    Lady replied at 2014-01-19 1:24 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    2nd anniversary only, how can you be with him for the rest of your life?





    Time to have a serious talk, the longer you leave it the more you lose out.


    ===============================================================


    Lady,





    I totally agree with you, so after so many incidents happened, I finally think we need to sit down and talk.





    But he gets mad all in a sudden and think is not necessary to talk... I just dunno how to be with him.





    He likes to keep his weird thinkings on his own. He jst couldn't support his decision or tell me the reasoning behind it


    ===============================================================





    少同人商量, 妥協既人, 好難三言兩語改變佢地決定做既事.


    人年紀越大, 越有自己主見, 更加難改.


    ===============================================================因為同佢平心靜氣傾都唔聽跟住仲發脾氣


    我只可以同佢講不如分開


    ===============================================================跟著佢即時走開唔出聲




  • Lady replied at 2014-01-19 1:42 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    ===============================================================yes, we are now I different room. But I just think there is no way to help. From time to time I email him about what I'm thing and how to improve our relationship. But he's just not willing to face there are problems


    ---------------------------------





    That's bad, is like separation already. Threaten him with divorce, that's the ultimatum, see his reaction, if still the same I think you should know what to do, luckily, you don't have any kids yet.


    ===============================================================


    He wAs acting crazy... But then I said I wanna devoice... He stopped and left.



  • man replied at 2014-01-19 1:42 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    唯有嘗試下唔好再提呢個問題, 記憶返大家相愛甜蜜既時光, 睇下大家仲可唔可以好似以前咁愛對方.


    ===============================================================依家係處事同價值觀seriously different. I was trying to talk and understand him to minimize the gap, but he refused



  • hi Jenny,





    Let a late 40s man share his 2 cents with you:





    1. Men and women are very different animals - this is a fundamental principle that you must remember to start with





    2. Women like to share, esp when they are in problem; but men do not like to share, esp with his loved ones as he do not like them to get worried





    3. When a woman loves her man (e.g. hubby), she tries to be his improvement adviser FOR HIS GOOD, while the good intent (not sure for men including myself) may only chase him away.





    4. Women likes to take and discuss to clarify things when they feel discomfort in a relationship. Men do not like to discuss problems, as above, they do not want to share the problems with their loved ones (the key you should know is: he probably still consider you his loved one). Trying to get him to discuss for him is like pushing him to the wall, and he may respond by escaping or bad temper.





    5. You are fair to complain if he is not going to talk his problem out, you may not know. Yes, you are right; it takes some tact of women to try get the info sometimes. Do remember his problems or source of stress may not be related to you at all.





    6. Trust your man. You have married him and he must have some goodies. He does not read contract details as he may be wise enough to know what he is doing. Often I see woman friends who think they are smart in spotting the fine-prints but forget to realize the key is whether the deal is right, and after all, how often we need to rely on fine prints in contracts to protect them??? (E.g. smart legal counsels in banks may think all the fine-prints give the banks protection against selling mini-bonds to anyone, yet the fact is after the years, they have to compensate even though the contracts say they do not have to).





    7. Well, of course, the other side of the story is that you are the one who has not consider the deal carefully but only consider the fine-prints... um... when you signed your marriage cert ;)





    I do not know you or your man, so the above can at best be my best guess from your limited info. I suppose you are young at late 20s or early 30s, and thus still green in the journey to understand how to make the best out about the wisdom handling the delicate yet tricky man-woman relationship.





    Add oil and don't lose faith so soon ;)




  • And he's 近近計較with me. But not to the things that can save $$$



  • shinny replied at 2014-01-19 1:45 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    Lady replied at 2014-01-19 1:42 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    ===============================================================yes, we are now I different room. But I just think there is no way to help. From time to time I email him about what I'm thing and how to improve our relationship. But he's just not willing to face there are problems


    ---------------------------------





    That's bad, is like separation already. Threaten him with divorce, that's the ultimatum, see his reaction, if still the same I think you should know what to do, luckily, you don't have any kids yet.


    ===============================================================


    He wAs acting crazy... But then I said I wanna devoice... He stopped and left.


    ===============================================================


    Leave it a few days then ask him again and tell him you're serious about it.


    Honestly, sounds like he has another woman.




  • likewitty replied at 2014-01-19 1:48 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    hi Jenny,





    Let a late 40s man share his 2 cents with you:





    1. Men and women are very different animals - this is a fundamental principle that you must remember to start with





    2. Women like to share, esp when they are in problem; but men do not like to share, esp with his loved ones as he do not like them to get worried





    3. When a woman loves her man (e.g. hubby), she tries to be his improvement adviser FOR HIS GOOD, while the good intent (not sure for men including myself) may only chase him away.





    4. Women likes to take and discuss to clarify things when they feel discomfort in a relationship. Men do not like to discuss problems, as above, they do not want to share the problems with their loved ones (the key you should know is: he probably still consider you his loved one). Trying to get him to discuss for him is like pushing him to the wall, and he may respond by escaping or bad temper.





    5. You are fair to complain if he is not going to talk his problem out, you may not know. Yes, you are right; it takes some tact of women to try get the info sometimes. Do remember his problems or source of stress may not be related to you at all.





    6. Trust your man. You have married him and he must have some goodies. He does not read contract details as he may be wise enough to know what he is doing. Often I see woman friends who think they are smart in spotting the fine-prints but forget to realize the key is whether the deal is right, and after all, how often we need to rely on fine prints in contracts to protect them??? (E.g. smart legal counsels in banks may think all the fine-prints give the banks protection against selling mini-bonds to anyone, yet the fact is after the years, they have to compensate even though the contracts say they do not have to).





    7. Well, of course, the other side of the story is that you are the one who has not consider the deal carefully but only consider the fine-prints... um... when you signed your marriage cert ;)





    I do not know you or your man, so the above can at best be my best guess from your limited info. I suppose you are young at late 20s or early 30s, and thus still green in the journey to understand how to make the best out about the wisdom handling the delicate yet tricky man-woman relationship.





    Add oil and don't lose faith so soon ;)


    ===============================================================





    coooooooooooooooool



  • shinny replied at 2014-01-19 1:50 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    And he's 近近計較with me. But not to the things that can save $$$


    ===============================================================


    Was he like that before? Seems like he has a grudge against you that's why it shows in other areas.



  • shinny replied at 2014-01-19 1:48 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    man replied at 2014-01-19 1:42 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    唯有嘗試下唔好再提呢個問題, 記憶返大家相愛甜蜜既時光, 睇下大家仲可唔可以好似以前咁愛對方.


    ===============================================================依家係處事同價值觀seriously different. I was trying to talk and understand him to minimize the gap, but he refused


    ===============================================================





    看來你已覺得已經用盡方法, 亦都下了決定, 只係欠其他人支持你離婚既決定.



  • likewitty replied at 2014-01-19 1:48 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    hi Jenny,





    Let a late 40s man share his 2 cents with you:





    1. Men and women are very different animals - this is a fundamental principle that you must remember to start with





    2. Women like to share, esp when they are in problem; but men do not like to share, esp with his loved ones as he do not like them to get worried





    3. When a woman loves her man (e.g. hubby), she tries to be his improvement adviser FOR HIS GOOD, while the good intent (not sure for men including myself) may only chase him away.





    4. Women likes to take and discuss to clarify things when they feel discomfort in a relationship. Men do not like to discuss problems, as above, they do not want to share the problems with their loved ones (the key you should know is: he probably still consider you his loved one). Trying to get him to discuss for him is like pushing him to the wall, and he may respond by escaping or bad temper.





    5. You are fair to complain if he is not going to talk his problem out, you may not know. Yes, you are right; it takes some tact of women to try get the info sometimes. Do remember his problems or source of stress may not be related to you at all.





    6. Trust your man. You have married him and he must have some goodies. He does not read contract details as he may be wise enough to know what he is doing. Often I see woman friends who think they are smart in spotting the fine-prints but forget to realize the key is whether the deal is right, and after all, how often we need to rely on fine prints in contracts to protect them??? (E.g. smart legal counsels in banks may think all the fine-prints give the banks protection against selling mini-bonds to anyone, yet the fact is after the years, they have to compensate even though the contracts say they do not have to).





    7. Well, of course, the other side of the story is that you are the one who has not consider the deal carefully but only consider the fine-prints... um... when you signed your marriage cert ;)





    I do not know you or your man, so the above can at best be my best guess from your limited info. I suppose you are young at late 20s or early 30s, and thus still green in the journey to understand how to make the best out about the wisdom handling the delicate yet tricky man-woman relationship.





    Add oil and don't lose faith so soon ;)


    ===============================================================


    Thanks so much for your reply like witty!





    He is American Chinese... He's very relax on everything to a very ridiculous level.





    When we purchase a property, we need to sign a preliminary contract which about 30pgs long. He can sign every single page without reading it, while I was reading every single page.... Ok when we bought the house and hire a contractor to have window replacements... He can sign a damage to your house contact without having the worker listed the damage done to our house.





    Recently, the property mgnt ask us to shut doen the waterline while they do the maintence checkings to avoid floor in the house, I ask him if he shut down, he said yes, but ended up he didn't and our unit got flood





    Bc of that we have to claim insurance.... Bc of his lack of common sense, he reported the case a week late. And bc he's not famuilar with the claim process and the floor material, the insurance co. Not willing to compensate in full amount. I was very shocked so I call to the agent then I realize he didn't tell the whole story. I ratify the claim and it's already been 10 days late.





    Bc of numerous incidents, I decided to talk to this. But ended up he got mad like crazy and thinks that I shouldn't do all the things. I asked him why, he couldn't explain. He knew I did for the goods of the family. But why he being so ridiculous??




  • Lady replied at 2014-01-19 1:51 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    shinny replied at 2014-01-19 1:45 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    Lady replied at 2014-01-19 1:42 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    ===============================================================yes, we are now I different room. But I just think there is no way to help. From time to time I email him about what I'm thing and how to improve our relationship. But he's just not willing to face there are problems


    ---------------------------------





    That's bad, is like separation already. Threaten him with divorce, that's the ultimatum, see his reaction, if still the same I think you should know what to do, luckily, you don't have any kids yet.


    ===============================================================


    He wAs acting crazy... But then I said I wanna devoice... He stopped and left.


    ===============================================================


    Leave it a few days then ask him again and tell him you're serious about it.


    Honestly, sounds like he has another woman.


    ===============================================================


    I don't know if he has other women. But there's nothing I can do if he does



  • Thanks for sharing more details. A nosy consultant needs facts and details to refine his unsolicited analysis and comments ;)





    Key points:





    1. The fact he is American Chinese could explain more about the current conflicting situation, as besides man-women and marriage issues, there may also be cultural considerations.





    2. The fact you can recall the details means you are very 'woman' (please don't read me wrong as sarcastic) - you operate on drilling into the details. It is beneficial and useful in certain circumstances, e.g. in handling insurance claims and legal recourse. Unfortunately, in relationships, it is a big question mark and may lead you to unwise decision.





    3. Not trying to be defensive for your man, but please take a relaxed mood to think about the following as my joke for you:





    a. Smart as you are to remember fine details, could you recall last time he has a major hit in the head by you to make him a dump dump man now? *** Um, I bet you would not have been drunk enough to marry to such a dump dump man





    Has he really changed? Or it is you who have changed your yardstick now ---- ooops, he SHOULD have evolved and improved after marrying to you. Ai, poor guy may be hiding himself crying somewhere sometime asking what fault he has committed as he has been the same man as before, but just now those old days he was the charming romantic honey in your eyes, and today he is just a ridiculous, indecisive, good-for-nothing idiot.





    As you can still be so emotional and upset writing about the incidents, I would think either you still love him much and feel so bad that he is going the down-hill, or





    - the bet I am putting my money is: you are asking a lot of why's, and also you hate to see subconsciously that you are going to face a 'lose', when in your life you have always been going smoothly with long stride 'wins'. (Don't hit my head as I said I am only wide-guessing, and I am dump dump enough that I may not stand more hits LOL)





    Things can look very different when we take alternative perspectives, and so are the solutions and the fate in our lives ;)




  • likewitty replied at 2014-01-19 2:23 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    Thanks for sharing more details. A nosy consultant needs facts and details to refine his unsolicited analysis and comments ;)





    Key points:





    1. The fact he is American Chinese could explain more about the current conflicting situation, as besides man-women and marriage issues, there may also be cultural considerations.





    2. The fact you can recall the details means you are very 'woman' (please don't read me wrong as sarcastic) - you operate on drilling into the details. It is beneficial and useful in certain circumstances, e.g. in handling insurance claims and legal recourse. Unfortunately, in relationships, it is a big question mark and may lead you to unwise decision.





    3. Not trying to be defensive for your man, but please take a relaxed mood to think about the following as my joke for you:





    a. Smart as you are to remember fine details, could you recall last time he has a major hit in the head by you to make him a dump dump man now? *** Um, I bet you would not have been drunk enough to marry to such a dump dump man





    Has he really changed? Or it is you who have changed your yardstick now ---- ooops, he SHOULD have evolved and improved after marrying to you. Ai, poor guy may be hiding himself crying somewhere sometime asking what fault he has committed as he has been the same man as before, but just now those old days he was the charming romantic honey in your eyes, and today he is just a ridiculous, indecisive, good-for-nothing idiot.





    As you can still be so emotional and upset writing about the incidents, I would think either you still love him much and feel so bad that he is going the down-hill, or





    - the bet I am putting my money is: you are asking a lot of why's, and also you hate to see subconsciously that you are going to face a 'lose', when in your life you have always been going smoothly with long stride 'wins'. (Don't hit my head as I said I am only wide-guessing, and I am dump dump enough that I may not stand more hits LOL)





    Things can look very different when we take alternative perspectives, and so are the solutions and the fate in our lives ;)


    ===============================================================


    Thanks for your useful analysis.





    Yes you r right. I hate to see him fail and I want him to be good. But ended up he did not feel the same way.





    Maybe it's time to end.




  • I just have another talk with him. He said he's not able to change.and I can make a decision that I think is the best for myself.



  • shinny replied at 2014-01-19 2:52 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    I just have another talk with him. He said he's not able to change.and I can make a decision that I think is the best for myself.


    ===============================================================





    Fate comes fate goes. Not about right or wrong. This may be good to free both of you from the agony. At different stages of our lives we may need different partners.





    There needs no logic for two to get together, yet when it is about getting to separate, it's better to be rational. The good or bad in your case is: you can be good enough to put up the rational rationale in these case; wise or not, maybe no one knows, but you may be tough enough to ensure you will not think of regret at a later date. (I bet you won't as you will be capable in protecting yourself that way.)





    All best wishes. I know it is hard to wish you a Happy New Year, though it may not be bad that the decision may carry a happy-ending side, no matter what is it ;)


    (Someone mentioned in an earlier response that you have already made up your mind before you post this thread, and I tend to agree.)





    P.S. Haha, allow my wild guess again that you are legally trained somewhat even if that is not your professional.




  • shinny replied at 2014-01-19 2:51 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    likewitty replied at 2014-01-19 2:23 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    Thanks for sharing more details. A nosy consultant needs facts and details to refine his unsolicited analysis and comments ;)





    Key points:





    1. The fact he is American Chinese could explain more about the current conflicting situation, as besides man-women and marriage issues, there may also be cultural considerations.





    2. The fact you can recall the details means you are very 'woman' (please don't read me wrong as sarcastic) - you operate on drilling into the details. It is beneficial and useful in certain circumstances, e.g. in handling insurance claims and legal recourse. Unfortunately, in relationships, it is a big question mark and may lead you to unwise decision.





    3. Not trying to be defensive for your man, but please take a relaxed mood to think about the following as my joke for you:





    a. Smart as you are to remember fine details, could you recall last time he has a major hit in the head by you to make him a dump dump man now? *** Um, I bet you would not have been drunk enough to marry to such a dump dump man





    Has he really changed? Or it is you who have changed your yardstick now ---- ooops, he SHOULD have evolved and improved after marrying to you. Ai, poor guy may be hiding himself crying somewhere sometime asking what fault he has committed as he has been the same man as before, but just now those old days he was the charming romantic honey in your eyes, and today he is just a ridiculous, indecisive, good-for-nothing idiot.





    As you can still be so emotional and upset writing about the incidents, I would think either you still love him much and feel so bad that he is going the down-hill, or





    - the bet I am putting my money is: you are asking a lot of why's, and also you hate to see subconsciously that you are going to face a 'lose', when in your life you have always been going smoothly with long stride 'wins'. (Don't hit my head as I said I am only wide-guessing, and I am dump dump enough that I may not stand more hits LOL)





    Things can look very different when we take alternative perspectives, and so are the solutions and the fate in our lives ;)


    ===============================================================


    Thanks for your useful analysis.





    Yes you r right. I hate to see him fail and I want him to be good. But ended up he did not feel the same way.





    Maybe it's time to end.


    ===============================================================


    You are right. He is not charm to me anymore.... Bc I see all of his mistakes.





    He said my intension wasn't for his good but to make him look bad. Maybe guys couldn't take any criticism.




  • Im alfred, 30 , about 176cm, 145lbs, mature, decent looking.tall, strong and fit, decent, well-educated, nice, caring, non-smoking. Add my msn/skype: alfred68@live.hk wechat: alfred681 . Hope we can chat or meet up some time .







  • =====================================


    You are right. He is not charm to me anymore.... Bc I see all of his mistakes.





    He said my intension wasn't for his good but to make him look bad. Maybe guys couldn't take any criticism.


    ===============================================================





    Haha, very few, if any, man or woman take criticisms.


    To try change your partner is as hard as to try to tell you not to change n stay as sweet little lady. LOL





    It can be a repeatable cycle - that you become attracted by a guy and then as time goes, you find his faults to a point that you cannot stand, and the logical next step is separation. This is a common and logical way of relationships to many, and it needs not be criticized. Some like to pursue excellence continuously, and this is an approach some choose, and they are diligent to handle the transitions from one relationship to the next.





    Some more laid back men or women will accept they cannot, or want not, make further changes, and so they take a different approach. Instead of seeing the imperfections of his or her partner, they try embrace them and internalize them so that they will be blind n insensitive to the imperfections, and may even find the beauties from the faults --- e.g. he is getting ugly, obese, bald so no other gals will be interested to capture him; he is dump dump so he will not pick on my growing imperfections over time, bla bla bla





    Now, the challenge is how soon you can feel refreshed and happy to have made a decision, and move ahead to prepare for a new path of a journey.





    Be cheered :)





    P.S. If separation is the final verdict, you should at least be grateful that he is indeed good that he will not scrutinize the N pages of divorce decree and agreements ;) Hence, don't try to improve him on that now la.










  • I know you must be in terrible mood now, but allow me to add:





    The decision to marry him, and likewise, your tentative decision now, both can be good decisions.





    Circumstances, you, and him have changed over time and it is easier to see that everyone is doing the right thing for each of your own good.





    We all want all we love, including our own self, to be happy after all. You and him included.



  • I had a dark age for 5 years in similar situation.





    I found out, be happier self and be the real me - lovely and sexy me. Ignore his coldiness and wait. He might love me again or not but I cannot do anything as it is his own decision. I did what he did for me, for one day and I understand how he is.


    However I don't feel upset anymore coz he is not my main focus right now.





    No matter you wanna quit or not, being lovely and sexy for our own good is a must


    as keep a market value. 半個地球係男人,洗乜怕 : P



  • Just my thoughts





    //My husband refuse to communicate... Is it the time to end?





    Depends how much you love him, how much time and effort you are willing to spend on him even probably nothing will change till the end.





    //跟著佢即時走開唔出聲





    It seems he knows his problems and mistakes but he just does not want to admit.





    //I just have another talk with him. He said he's not able to change.and I can make a decision that I think is the best for myself.





    Not unable, just not willing to change. Bad guys can be good guys. People paralysis after stroke can walk again after years of practice.





    //He said my intension wasn't for his good but to make him look bad. Maybe guys couldn't take any criticism.





    If he truly believed what he said, then he did not even trust you.




  • 結婚同離婚同樣係重要決定


    板主想清楚先



  • 你隻雀好得意 :)



  • 好多女仔都係咁講



  • Jenny replied at 2014-01-19 1:19 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    Tomorrow is our 2nd anniversary... But I just feeling I couldn't communicate with him anymore. .. He doesn't care any thing ... I feel very sun fu to be with him


    ===============================================================





    what are you waiting for? just give him up and start new life!!!



  • ...



  • Likewitty





    Just wanted to thank for your words of wisdom, make me think about my life too, very good food for thoughts. Two thumbs up!