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轉自 ＥＴ ＮＥＴ 生活副刊
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The Wrong Men
Women are usually smarter than men in many other respects, except when it comes to mate searching. Whilst most men would instinctively know the distinction between a girlfriend and a wife, most women cannot tell the difference. Being more idealistic, many have difficulties trying to distinguish a boyfriend from a husband, some mistake one for the other and some search for a blend. Hong Kong women tend to be particularly susceptible in the following categories:
Devils in disguise
These guys make you feel sensual and desirable. They know when to say what, dress and speak
impecca¬bly, probably pick you up in a con¬vertible, kiss you on both cheeks, open doors and butter your bread. Some hunky-dory hunks are great kissers, drop-dead gorgeous, with warm hands and groins to die for, pushing all the right buttons… They are also self-centred and romantically rapacious guys who effortlessly insinuate themselves into associations with – and ruthlessly ditch – beautiful and successful women on a regular basis, out-manoeuvring their male rivals with practised ease. Their creed is simply: “ All is fair in love and war”. These are rogues, but charming with it. They are definitely boyfriend material – and only before you hit 30.
The married men
Then there are those who hit on you with sheer arrogant raffishness, all las¬civious leers and innuendos. Initially appalled, secretly flattered, you finally succumb. Melting you away in his arms, this man makes the others look like boys. The guy who wants to take you to bed doesn’t love his wife, he loves only you. Someday, he will divorce her and be yours forever – only he can’t do it just yet because she is vulnerable and he is kind, because of the children… the joint asset… the family, the dog… It’s complicated… Yes, it always is. These men may be a colourful antidote to a lonely woman’s otherwise dull world, they are also pure poison. You have no business get¬ting involved with a man like that, at any age.
The non-marrying men
There are men who should never be married to women. The first type of man to avoid is the homosexual, those of transgender, or any man who assumes a heterosexual relationship only for his family, profession, society, political career or other ulterior motive. Another type totally unsuitable for marriage is the man who loves women too much, so that one is never enough. These men are compulsive philander¬ers who have an irresistible urge to divide themselves among several lovers at any one time, perpetually lying through their teeth to cover their tracks.
The third type of non-marrying man is the most dangerous of all. They look like husband material, behave like husband material, but they aren’t true husband material, at least not for you. Every time you have tried to talk about marriage, he has either evaded the issue or vacillated. There were moments you thought you were almost there… then suddenly, marriage is but “…just a piece of paper!” “Why can’t we be happy with the way things are?” Sometimes you feel so close to him, but at other times you can’t seem to figure him out at all, it’s like trying to catch a cloud. When he is good, he is the sweetest thing in the world; when he is not, he can be grumpy and moody. You are so sure he loves you, but he just has this thing about commitment, so why push him? Maybe you should be a bit more patient, give him a bit more time until he is ready. The reality is that you could be in for a long wait. This type’s creed is: “Hide one’s capacity, bide one’s time.”
Some women become so diverted by the euphoria of being “in love” they start chasing toons. Then there are others who keep on spinning in this “cling-rejected-hurt” cycle which repeats itself over and over again. A lesson to be learned is this: Wise up! Do not become so engrossed in the journey that you forget the destination !