徵文比賽

[mattluvyou]

LovelyMandy replied at 2012-10-14 2:39 am

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mattluvyou replied at 2012-10-14 2:37 am

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LovelyMandy replied at 2012-10-14 2:35 am

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mattluvyou replied at 2012-10-14 2:32 am

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LovelyMandy replied at 2012-10-14 2:28 am

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mattluvyou replied at 2012-10-14 2:24 am

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LovelyMandy replied at 2012-10-14 2:21 am



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我都未話幾多COUPON.. 今日有人俾張東海堂COUPON我~~~ 過埋俾你囉~ ^^

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唓~ 我都唔食東海堂嘅

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車~~ 以為你咩都食 潻



淨係食牛丸架JAR ??

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屋企同公司附近冇東海堂嘛

咩牛丸呀? 我幾時淨係食牛丸?

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我都係無先俾你嗟~~~ 哈哈



芝屎丸呀 ?

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衰蝦 =_=

係芝士丸, 炸墨丸同魚片頭呀

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仲有你頭像相果D 毛蟹粥呢~~

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你講開丸呀嘛...

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魚片頭係丸嚟既咩? 未食過喎~~幾時請我去食呀~ ^^

[mattluvyou]

Gen replied at 2012-10-14 2:39 am

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其實呢....我好鐘意食東海堂



但係東海堂有乜野食??

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你鐘食但唔知有咩食?? 呵呵~

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因為次次行過想幫襯下



不過次次都係見到咁多人就無買野...走人



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未食過都咁鐘意...咁一定好好食架喇 ^^

[LovelyMandy]

mattluvyou replied at 2012-10-14 2:48 am

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LovelyMandy replied at 2012-10-14 2:39 am

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mattluvyou replied at 2012-10-14 2:37 am

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LovelyMandy replied at 2012-10-14 2:35 am

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mattluvyou replied at 2012-10-14 2:32 am

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LovelyMandy replied at 2012-10-14 2:28 am

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mattluvyou replied at 2012-10-14 2:24 am

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LovelyMandy replied at 2012-10-14 2:21 am



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我都未話幾多COUPON.. 今日有人俾張東海堂COUPON我~~~ 過埋俾你囉~ ^^

===============================================================

唓~ 我都唔食東海堂嘅

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車~~ 以為你咩都食 潻



淨係食牛丸架JAR ??

===============================================================

屋企同公司附近冇東海堂嘛

咩牛丸呀? 我幾時淨係食牛丸?

===============================================================

我都係無先俾你嗟~~~ 哈哈



芝屎丸呀 ?

===============================================================

衰蝦 =_=

係芝士丸, 炸墨丸同魚片頭呀

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仲有你頭像相果D 毛蟹粥呢~~

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你講開丸呀嘛...

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魚片頭係丸嚟既咩? 未食過喎~~幾時請我去食呀~ ^^

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你過黎搵我食lunch我咪請你食囉

[mattluvyou]

LovelyMandy replied at 2012-10-14 2:50 am

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mattluvyou replied at 2012-10-14 2:48 am

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LovelyMandy replied at 2012-10-14 2:39 am

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mattluvyou replied at 2012-10-14 2:37 am

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LovelyMandy replied at 2012-10-14 2:35 am

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mattluvyou replied at 2012-10-14 2:32 am

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LovelyMandy replied at 2012-10-14 2:28 am

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mattluvyou replied at 2012-10-14 2:24 am

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LovelyMandy replied at 2012-10-14 2:21 am



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我都未話幾多COUPON.. 今日有人俾張東海堂COUPON我~~~ 過埋俾你囉~ ^^

===============================================================

唓~ 我都唔食東海堂嘅

===============================================================



車~~ 以為你咩都食 潻



淨係食牛丸架JAR ??

===============================================================

屋企同公司附近冇東海堂嘛

咩牛丸呀? 我幾時淨係食牛丸?

===============================================================

我都係無先俾你嗟~~~ 哈哈



芝屎丸呀 ?

===============================================================

衰蝦 =_=

係芝士丸, 炸墨丸同魚片頭呀

===============================================================



仲有你頭像相果D 毛蟹粥呢~~

===============================================================

你講開丸呀嘛...

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魚片頭係丸嚟既咩? 未食過喎幾時請我去食呀~ ^^

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你過黎搵我食lunch我咪請你食囉

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快D到LUNCH TIME 就好LUR ^^

[生肖屬豬]

趁bibi寫緊...我眠一眠先...

[Gen]

生肖屬豬 2:57am oct 14, 2012趁bibi寫緊...我眠一眠先...

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咁快就要沖電



我又攪攪個頭先

[Bibi168]

如果我有3小時~



首先我會去atm先~ 要借d2比佢睇下我戶口得3千~

以免佢帶返我入ifc個lane~ 再一手攬全caca話我其實好in~

要過海先食得海鮮~ 所以就打電話book左架submarine~

caca拍晒手咁話我好堅~ 我一手就指住我自己粒lin~

講係she到得我win~ 因為gen gen佢仲要用口水堅~

豬豬比bibi激到一頭煙~ 蝦仔只得一塊skin~~~~~



唉....唔打啦~ 好tired >.<

[Stephen83]

今次約會三小時，

見到你就好happy,

皆因對我好nice,

行街食飯冇所謂，

茶記麥記都去食，

人多地方你鍾意，

你話可以親密啲，

之後仲去做運動，

發現原來係騎師，

上下郁動好興奮，

去到終點淫水流！

你問可否留一留，

我話時間啱啱夠！

你說下次何時有，

我話時間日日有，

睇你何時有要求，

說完再見左右走！

回覆信息冇停手，

我們關係變長久

[Bibi168]

Gen replied at 2012-10-14 2:59 am

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生肖屬豬 2:57am oct 14, 2012趁bibi寫緊...我眠一眠先...

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咁快就要沖電



我又攪攪個頭先





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得果幾條毛毛...攪得d咩呀 gen gen~

[Gen]

咁快就要沖電



我又攪攪個頭先





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得果幾條毛毛...攪得d咩呀 gen gen~

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人地下面......你都知?!!

[Bibi168]

Gen replied at 2012-10-14 3:07 am

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咁快就要沖電



我又攪攪個頭先





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得果幾條毛毛...攪得d咩呀 gen gen~

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人地下面......你都知?!!







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300幾條女喎~ 唔多唔少都有d風收到既~

[Gen]

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300幾條女喎~ 唔多唔少都有d風收到既~

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吾係又講我壞話下嘩...



不過一向我都係溝吾到女



所以...我都係保持住

[Bibi168]

Gen replied at 2012-10-14 3:14 am

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300幾條女喎~ 唔多唔少都有d風收到既~

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吾係又講我壞話下嘩...



不過一向我都係溝吾到女



所以...我都係保持住



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無咩呀~ 有d話你頭果"分鐘"好勁咁囉~

[jj]

I remember one choreographed number which consisted of male-female pairs, with the men, in unison, lifting the women heavenward. It looked like a metaphor for husbands bringing their wives through the veil in the temple ceremony--an advertisement for This Is What We Do.

[erica56]

Gen replied at 2012-10-14 2:02 am

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There are words I usually don't say it aloud, because we just simply never met. You sort of busy with your life and I am kind of stuck with my bed. Sometime, I just wonder what kind of person would trade themselves just for the sake of meeting you in a regular coffee shop.



Whenever I can, and I would which I will......

would pay every tension of you..whenever there are rainy day neither sunny day... you are the closest one person I want to be..



Sounds ridiculous enough, there aren't anything I really want to do with you, I just happen to be the one like to see you often.





it is a true commitment..............







===============================================================

Aw... is this an entry?

>///<

[erica56]

Sincere replied at 2012-10-14 2:07 am

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LovelyMandy replied at 2012-10-14 2:02 am

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erica56 replied at 2012-10-14 1:59 am

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生肖屬豬 replied at 2012-10-14 1:39 am

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假如我和Erica有三小時，我會先認真、誠懇地介紹自己。我會讓Erica知道，無論我過去有多少化名，從今以後，我的名字只叫Eric。然後，我會和Erica去東大街食牛腩麵，一齊在簽名板上記下這特別的一天。

食完麵後，我會和Erica一起去赤柱，找間酒吧坐下來，邊喝邊聊天，同時享受清爽的秋風與和暖的陽光。

最後，我打算在赤柱廣場的空地，跳上一支近期頗流行的--Gangnam Style(馬仔舞)，以搏Erica一笑。跳畢便急急送Erica回家(免得給人拍下上傳Youtube)。

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評語：內容充實，創意及勇氣可嘉，行文流暢

42+25+8+8=83

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嘩好高分喎！

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我相信你已經是勝利者. 恭喜恭喜!!好好享受吧.

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嗱，仲未截止ge

或者有人後來居上呢

[erica56]

mattluvyou replied at 2012-10-14 2:18 am

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Gen replied at 2012-10-14 2:10 am

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評語：內容充實，創意及勇氣可嘉，行文流暢

42+25+8+8=83

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嘩好高分喎！

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我相信你已經是勝利者. 恭喜恭喜!!好好享受吧.

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吾好咁快就話放棄



中文吾夠佢好...可能日文得呢



我要同佢死過!!!!!!

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如果ERICA 唔識日文...你咪奶野~

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我第一頁寫明「中英皆可」

其他語言我唔多掂

[MuscularAsss]

白痴 erica56, 三小時食屎夠未

[生肖屬豬]

erica56 replied at 2012-10-14 10:06 am

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Gen replied at 2012-10-14 2:02 am

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There are words I usually don't say it aloud, because we just simply never met. You sort of busy with your life and I am kind of stuck with my bed. Sometime, I just wonder what kind of person would trade themselves just for the sake of meeting you in a regular coffee shop.



Whenever I can, and I would which I will......

would pay every tension of you..whenever there are rainy day neither sunny day... you are the closest one person I want to be..



Sounds ridiculous enough, there aren't anything I really want to do with you, I just happen to be the one like to see you often.





it is a true commitment..............







===============================================================

Aw... is this an entry?

>///<

===============================================================

he usually "9 doesn't match 8"...

... and never really look into the question before answering it...

wakakaka

[myshkin]

SO FAR 我都覺得D ENTRY未算太驚喜。



版主出呢條題目唔算好難啫，比少少誠意努力DD就得㗎喇。

[生肖屬豬]

erica56 replied at 2012-10-14 10:08 am

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Sincere replied at 2012-10-14 2:07 am

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LovelyMandy replied at 2012-10-14 2:02 am

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erica56 replied at 2012-10-14 1:59 am

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生肖屬豬 replied at 2012-10-14 1:39 am

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假如我和Erica有三小時，我會先認真、誠懇地介紹自己。我會讓Erica知道，無論我過去有多少化名，從今以後，我的名字只叫Eric。然後，我會和Erica去東大街食牛腩麵，一齊在簽名板上記下這特別的一天。

食完麵後，我會和Erica一起去赤柱，找間酒吧坐下來，邊喝邊聊天，同時享受清爽的秋風與和暖的陽光。

最後，我打算在赤柱廣場的空地，跳上一支近期頗流行的--Gangnam Style(馬仔舞)，以搏Erica一笑。跳畢便急急送Erica回家(免得給人拍下上傳Youtube)。

===============================================================

評語：內容充實，創意及勇氣可嘉，行文流暢

42+25+8+8=83

===============================================================

嘩好高分喎！

===============================================================

我相信你已經是勝利者. 恭喜恭喜!!好好享受吧.

===============================================================

嗱，仲未截止ge

或者有人後來居上呢

===============================================================

如果你搵到詩人或者滅火仔投稿呢... 你就知咩叫滿腹經綸喇...^^

[jj]

jj replied at 2012-10-14 8:08 am

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I remember one choreographed number which consisted of male-female pairs, with the men, in unison, lifting the women heavenward. It looked like a metaphor for husbands bringing their wives through the veil in the temple ceremony--an advertisement for This Is What We Do.

===============================================================

[戰狂300]

Bibi168 replied at 2012-10-14 3:00 am

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如果我有3小時~



首先我會去atm先~ 要借d2比佢睇下我戶口得3千~

以免佢帶返我入ifc個lane~ 再一手攬全caca話我其實好in~

要過海先食得海鮮~ 所以就打電話book左架submarine~

caca拍晒手咁話我好堅~ 我一手就指住我自己粒lin~

講係she到得我win~ 因為gen gen佢仲要用口水堅~

豬豬比bibi激到一頭煙~ 蝦仔只得一塊skin~~~~~



唉....唔打啦~ 好tired >.<

===============================================================



bibi 妳真係好堅~

[戰狂300]

今日約會ERICA, 開間大房睇電視,

YOUTUBE 上傳好片段, 跟住齊跳馬仔舞,

江南大叔肉騰騰, 赤膊露胸大肚腩;

我又學佢除哂衫, 點知我只得棚骨,

仲要個樣似骷髏, 嚇到 CACA 面都青!

叫我著衫同轉台, 我話原本我好堅,

只係索 K 超咗錶, 仲要迫佢一齊索,

突然有人來拷門, 唔知邊個咁掃興,

開門一見腳仔軟, 原來綠衣來查牌,

原來 CACA 未夠秤, 加埋一枱都係 K,

披衣懞頭上孖葉, 三小時後入咗監.

[Gen]

erica56 10:06am oct 14, 2012Gen replied at 2012-10-14 2:02 am

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There are words I usually don't say it aloud, because we just simply never met. You sort of busy with your life and I am kind of stuck with my bed. Sometime, I just wonder what kind of person would trade themselves just for the sake of meeting you in a regular coffee shop.



Whenever I can, and I would which I will......

would pay every tension of you..whenever there are rainy day neither sunny day... you are the closest one person I want to be..



Sounds ridiculous enough, there aren't anything I really want to do with you, I just happen to be the one like to see you often.





it is a true commitment..............







===============================================================

Aw... is this an entry?

>///<

-----------



Oh come on~



it is pretty much all I want to say...



Let me score a few points, Please..

[Gen]

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Aw... is this an entry?

>///<

===============================================================

he usually "9 doesn't match 8"...

... and never really look into the question before answering it...

wakakaka

-----------



The topic is kind of confusing



不過做下好心...比幾分都好

[Nicole]

有得獎者未?

[Bibi168]

早~~~

[iloveprettygals]

我會跟妳來個擁抱.

在秋意漸濃的大氣下, 我們依偎在一起.

彼此的呼吸一樣急速,

卻分不出這是因為想取得溫暖, 還是想釋放激情.



透徹的空氣中, 混和著複雜的氣味

是妳的香水, 還是愛情的感覺, 把我的元神震懾過去.



心跳得令雙手僵硬起來, 小心翼翼的把妳的秀髮撥到耳窩後.

就像一朵晶瑩剔透的白花在招展著的耳朵, 散發著更令人心動的芳香.

整個人就像在涼風中, 卻被熱騰騰的血溶化了.

[生肖屬豬]

Bibi168 replied at 2012-10-14 8:01 pm

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早~~~

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嘩...你唔駛瞓架...???

[生肖屬豬]

Nicole replied at 2012-10-14 7:52 pm

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有得獎者未?

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都未截止...

你都投稿啦...^^

[Nicole]

機會係留俾男仕的.

[生肖屬豬]

Nicole replied at 2012-10-14 8:38 pm

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機會係留俾男仕的.

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Erica都冇咁講...

[myshkin]

Nicole replied at 2012-10-14 8:38 pm

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機會係留俾男仕的.

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如果女仔投稿，多半會砍低晒D男人。

[myshkin]

想睇下頒獎。

[myshkin]

我估版主主要會mark試卷內容。:p

[Bibi168]

生肖屬豬 replied at 2012-10-14 8:35 pm

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Bibi168 replied at 2012-10-14 8:01 pm

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早~~~

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嘩...你唔駛瞓架...???

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有訓呀~

[Bibi168]

myshkin replied at 2012-10-14 9:23 pm

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Nicole replied at 2012-10-14 8:38 pm

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機會係留俾男仕的.

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如果女仔投稿，多半會砍低晒D男人。

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其實..好easy~ 比張黑card佢任轆3小時~ 勝過你打十萬9千字~ :p

[生肖屬豬]

myshkin replied at 2012-10-14 9:23 pm

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Nicole replied at 2012-10-14 8:38 pm

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機會係留俾男仕的.

===============================================================

如果女仔投稿，多半會砍低晒D男人。

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都唔知咩理論... =.="

[生肖屬豬]

Bibi168 replied at 2012-10-14 9:35 pm

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myshkin replied at 2012-10-14 9:23 pm

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Nicole replied at 2012-10-14 8:38 pm

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機會係留俾男仕的.

===============================================================

如果女仔投稿，多半會砍低晒D男人。

===============================================================

其實..好easy~ 比張黑card佢任轆3小時~ 勝過你打十萬9千字~ :p

===============================================================

咁我俾張你轆啦...^^

[luxeman]

我和妳會邀請所有親友來參加一個晚宴。在一首動聽的音樂襯托下，我牽著妳的手慢慢步進會場。這一刻，我眼中只有妳，妳美極了。



有個人問我一些問題，我肯定的回答 "我願意"。他又問妳一些問題，我看見妳含羞答答的説"我願意"，這刻我樂透了。 那人説我可以吻妳，我先是輕輕一吻，再與妳深吻5分鐘。



在一片歡笑聲中，三小時很快便過去。晚宴後我們送走賓客，但我跟妳浪漫的一夜，才正式開始..........

[Bibi168]

生肖屬豬 replied at 2012-10-14 10:00 pm

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Bibi168 replied at 2012-10-14 9:35 pm

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myshkin replied at 2012-10-14 9:23 pm

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Nicole replied at 2012-10-14 8:38 pm

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機會係留俾男仕的.

===============================================================

如果女仔投稿，多半會砍低晒D男人。

===============================================================

其實..好easy~ 比張黑card佢任轆3小時~ 勝過你打十萬9千字~ :p

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咁我俾張你轆啦...^^

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咁我唔客氣啦~^^

[Sincere]

erica56 replied at 2012-10-14 1:51 am

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Sincere replied at 2012-10-14 1:30 am

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erica56 replied at 2012-10-14 1:27 am

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Sincere replied at 2012-10-14 12:20 am

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Erica,



I would like to participate the competition.



"If I have three hours with Erica, I will explore her secret little heart with my warm sweet blood, sneak a look at her eyes with my shy pupils and take a breath of her fragrance to memorize in my nose. I will be holding her hand walking on sand of a silent beach, rounding her back looking at sunset my warmth ignites her spirit. Listening to breeze touch with my finger tips to unfreeze her lonely heart. Kissing her lips reaching her deep to heal the soul. A moment of day will stay with her for days the magic three hours of romance!"



Hope you enjoy it...



[email protected]

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Comments: I like how you combined the physical actions and the mental activities. There can be improvements on grammar.

40+20+5+7=

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Please kindly correct my gramma.

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I will not correct it line by line. Keep in mind that the basic structure for a sentence is SVO. So if the subject (doer) is missing, you probably need to add one to the sentence. Also, everything that happens in the short story will happen in the future , so you should use simple future tense (will + verb in base form).



For the last sentence, I will change it to "Three hours of romance will become a magic moment that lingers in her mind in the next few days."



I hope you find this useful.

===============================================================

Thx for your comments. However, it was a poem that I wrote, not a story. Also I tried to make the poem with rhyme (押韻). Using your corrected sentence as an example, it would not sound like a poem anymore. Subject could be missing in old style english poem as the subject was usually referred to the person who wrote it, means 'I'. 'I' was used at the start too and as the story only involved two persons, there was no need to repeatly using 'I'.

For the future tense you recommended, my poem was expressing the actions which were happening at the moment of our time together, not to feel as in future. Poem should not feel the future but to feel that particular moment!

It would have been easier if I simply wrote a story just like the others.

[參加者]

在halloween夜晚, 當你獨自一人在沙灘的時候. 突然, 我的手從沙中伸出來, 捉著你的雙腳. 你倒地後我便從沙中跳出來. 一路拖著你的腳行, 你便一路尖叫. 我拿出震蛋一隻, 放在你下方. 你的樣子又驚恐, 又享受.



我把你拖到一個黑暗的地方. 有一在附近坐下. 他看不到我們正在做什麼. 我的舌頭在你的乳暈上打轉, 你不禁輕聲地呻吟. 他察覺不到. 我便進一步在你的G點出發. 當你高潮兩次過後, 我才進入.

[A_Man_and_A_Pen]

又想見版主, 又唔想辛苦老作, 唯有.....中獎幸運兒請把轉讓價電郵至[email protected] (請註明包唔包出售nickname)

[Andrew]

阿妹的确好引人，大波長腿細乳暈

突然話要搞徵文，令到眾狗公身痕

仲話有終極獎品，可以與妹共宵雲

三個鐘真係可恨，翻飛當係操體能

首先潔淨佢全身，從頭奶到落腳根

望能用條百厭脷，啜到阿妹變水氹

用力揸雙峰插雲，再嚟狗仔入得深

四唇深情地濕吻，攬实胴體射花心

誰人行運做冠軍，祝各位師兄好運。祝好運！

^ω^

[Sincere]

之前用懷舊英文, 今次用下現代中文WAP下啦:



如果我和ERICA有三小時

我會提醒自己唔好遲

錯過今次唔會再有下次

期待赴會我地的第一試



見到面時擁抱一次

拖住手仔去搭港島線

先去時代食個二人前

再到戲院共纏綿

散場攞埋你屋企鎖匙

一起歸家莫猶豫



一絲不掛共浸浴池

濕吻全身讓你鬆弛

海枯石爛全唔在意

翻雲覆雨ENJOY多次

如果滿意我地的第一試

相約我們的下一次, 下一次…

[lysanias]

if i have 3 hours with you, i would



head to a pleasant place out there where i long to go

under a starry night and you are the only one chat to

perhaps the chance is rare and it's like picking poker A

walking along with shoulders and nothing is more nice

whilst guys pay attaction and make a final stop at hotel

a humble man around simply seeking a girl to chat with

I am glad you read through it and i can't wait to meet you





there is an acrostic in it.^^

[erica56]

大家真係好踴躍

等我改完我學生d文再評分！

[豺狼人]

我又試下



=====

題目: 假如我和Erica有三小時

作者: 豺狼人



親愛的Erica,

想不你會說我倆只有三小時. 自古有云: 春宵苦短. 三小時又豈能滿足彼此心中的慾望呢? 然而我十分慶幸能有三小時, 去把我內心對您的慾望得以釋放的機會, 但願您也能盡情將您心裡的慾望也舒發出來.

到頭來我倆會發現時間迅速溜走, 只是彼此一個簡單地緊抱對方, 互相眼睛凝望, 已經是別離之時.

但願這歡樂時光成為我倆心刻的回憶!



豺狼人