Wish to consult the girls : Would you accept the love of a very good friend?



  • Found that I've fall in love with my best female friends recently.  We know each other very well and the relationhip is so deep that I don't wish to lose such a precious friendship.

    However, the dealings between I and her was so true, comfortable and happy.  I guess, if we become a couple, perhaps we can get on very well and live a happy life?

    Should I propose my love to her?

    If so, what action should I take?  Since we are already so close, the ordinary chasing actions seems unsuitable in our case?





  • Does any girl have similar experience or could tell me about you girls' thought?



  • can any girl give me advice about the matter?



  • After dinner with her, ask her, your place or mine



  • Don't kidding la. I'm serious in developing a love relationship with her.



  • i will try ^^



  • gal> tks for your reply.





    In your view, what should I do? Since I can ask her to come out and accompany me whenever I like, even if I ask her to go out, she won't know my intention at all.



  • 我就吾會比咁既事發生. 如果吾work 或者佢根本對你冇興趣(做男/女朋友),咁就要將一段友誼犠牲. 通常呢d野即使係朋友/同事之間發生,都只會係吾係太熟既朋友/同事身上發生.熟不拘禮的,無端端搞d咁野,好odd. 如果大家冇common friends 還好,頂龍以後吾見,有common friends的話,第日人地約你兩個出黎,就會好尷尬.





    以前試過有男性朋友想追我,但我一sense 到吾妥就企硬扮儍,乜事都冇發生咁(不過佢地又冇真係講出口,都係約我出街食飯送下禮物,傾下計咁姐),之後大家之間梗有點古古怪怪,我發覺男人如果吾成功,之後就會同你劃清界線,中會疏遠我,所以即使我想同佢地keep住做朋友都冇可能.



  • If she has the same thought as you, I'll be very sad.



  • 有冇女仔會接受好朋友的愛?



  • I think you should test her feeling on you first...


    e.g. Why you treat me so good?


    if she said, Of course i am your good fd..


    then u can ask..."can it be more...?"


    If she shy or sth.... you just said... "kidding hhahaha"





    I think you should take it step by step... don't scare her away...



  • I wish test it slowly, try to make a slow move and see if she is feeling the same, but be honest, if a girl not into you, she will not spend so much time with u.





    good luck.



  • CC,





    thanks for your advice. I also plan to give some signal to her first. However, I think the words like "can it be more" maybe too explicit ...





    Is the presentation of gift a feasible idea?



  • 順其自然啦....如果大家感覺相同就自然走在一起....





    唔好推得太快....可能你再等多幾個月肯定自己唔係一時有feel先啦...





    我都試過 (當時我都幾sure佢都對我有感覺), 但我都無再行前一步, 因為異性真心好友難求呀....



  • Debbie,





    Thanks for your positive advice.





    We have known for 5+ years. I think she treated me a very good frined only. I don't have wild expectations that she has fallen into me.



  • baby,





    I understand.





    As we get along well and the dealings are pleasant, I guess we would match each other if we could become lovers.



  • Good friend- it is not just YOUR feeling. Please observe her attitude towards u. Be careful or you may lose a very gd frd too...ok? take care la



  • Besides, spending time with u doesnt mean anything...I dun mean to discourage u but just want u to think more clearly before act. I spent a lot of time of male frds too whom we can never develop into lovers. We may have good feeling towards each other but just that deep in our heart we know we shall be just in the frds category only....understand?



  • Understand your views ...





    I;m also afraid of losing the friendship. That's why I am so anxious about the matter.





    As you said, i think I'll test her response first. If she evades me or give negative implications, i may not walk further.



  • recently, two of my friends were started to get along together from pure friends.. they dated for about 1 month, then the relationship turns unstable...





    they were very good friend in the past, and their relationship changed since one of them cannot forgive his ex... at last, we feel so sorry for them, and as they started their relationship without a deep understanding between each other...





    Therefore, i will suggest you spend more time to build the relatiionship before starting doing any action!



  • Sorry I don't fully understand what do you mean by building the relationship first.





    As we can talk whatever we wish to each other and can ask each other to come out to do something as we wish, our relationship is already quite deep.





    In your view, what should I do to build the relationship?



  • haha.. sorry that i explained too bad~~


    so how long have you be friends with her?


    just curious about it~~



  • 5 to 6 years.



  • i c... that's a long friendship indeed...


    so you should find a time to tell her what you feel..


    i think she would understand..





    since you know her much.. you should know whether she has some target or what.. be confident!! you can success!!



  • cathy,





    Thanks for your encouragement. I know that she has no target person and wish to find a bf too.





    However, it doesn't necessary mean that she would accept me to be her bf.



  • in fact, i really understand, althought i am not very good at "Love"...





    i would think if you really show the special concerns to her.. and let her feel you are extraordinary care to her.. i think she would impressed and willing to be your gfd





    how's her characters? a easy-going person?




  • Yes, she's a person who is easy going and care much about the others. Because of this, she has quite many friends and I am one of the best friend of her.



  • Oh.. so can you test from her friends?


    there should be some common friends between you two..


    try to get more ideas from them... maybe they can help~



  • I've consulted our common friend (who is also her best friend).





    He asked me to do something implicit to show my intention and observe her response first.



  • text her sms more frequently..


    or invite her to watch movie just you two...







  • Cathy,





    Your suggestions are good and I will consider them. Thanks ar!



  • Glad that I was offered much advice from various girls. like Cathy and baby, I believe you are good and kind girls too.





    I thought the she.com was only a place for finding gf, sp or sl before. Now my view was changed. =]



  • i hope you can success...


    and share to us with your good news~



  • I hope so. However, I think I won't take action too soon. Perhaps in early or mid July.





    Bless u too.



  • hello cathy, how are u recently? still hard working for him?



  • Thanks!





    haha.. July come soon la... just next week...



  • yes r ... before taking any action, I need to think and prepare about that.



  • u r welcome. good luck :) i wanna see more happy faces here too....cheers



  • casual replied at 2010-06-23 4:35 pm


    -----------------------------------------------------------------


    hello cathy, how are u recently? still hard working for him?


    =================================================================





    hi Causal..


    how are you? i m okay la..





    i am just keeping a steady normal mood..


    i didn't see him much now (only 2-3 times a week, compared the last month almost everyday)





    he always seems treat me better than others, just make me feels he is unusual to me..







  • good ar, it seems better than 激情, let both of your feel to go on gradually. i guess u wanna like that rather than fast going?



  • i just force myself to slow it down..


    everynight,, i miss him,, and i want to see him in the next day morning, but i will not let myself to see him everyday... otherwise i will be really fall in love and can't get out of it..





    i really like him... but i still afraid he wants to be friend only~




  • its really hard to define when will be a good moment for you towards to him...sometimes your action is good; sometimes maybe too slow than he may find another or even some gal will also approaching to.... just if u believe in fate, if he will be yours, will be yours then :)



  • thanks Causal.. i do hope he will be mine in some days later....hahah





    he is kind to other girls sometimes indeed...(by saying thanks to them with smile)but he will not speak to them...





    but he do speak to me.. like today he asked whether i have watch the world cup ar... i just wondering about what he is thinking...



  • thats a good signal for ya, be confidence to yourself & looking forward a good news from u~ cheer up for ya ))



  • really thanks causal...





    i seldom go to SHE these days, coz i was a little busy and tired...it is always good to hear your encouragement..





    i will go on my plan,.. tomorrow i won't go to meet him...


    i need to have a buffere time on this.. let me see him on Friday!





    so.. you are in office right now??







  • don't have time to read all the posts, but with reference to your heading and situation, i believe that she knows you very well and she likely be a friend with you even though she isn't able to accept your love.





    i suggest that you shall tell her your true feeling and let her be the driver... hmm... if there is a chance to express your true love, don't say NO to it. good luck.