Can anyone tell what the differences before and after divorce?



  • both practical and psychological?



  • People are talking mostly life after marriage, what about life after divorce? Perception goes more on negative than positive, is there any real experience to share?



  • i have so such experience myself. but i can see some friends of mine are happier than before divorce - should be true and real, otherwise divorced for what, right?



  • are you talking about men or women?



  • Before divorce, when things turning sour, physical loving making is almost nil, attraction to the spouse is negative, in your eyes you beginning to see that person as an enemy more than a companion. Your work in kitchen or household becomes sloppy. If you have children you would tend to hope them isolate the other spouse out of revenge or jealousy. The world turn into hell in the family. You feel trapped.





    Psychologically you regret having getting married. You asking why me ? resentment and blames. Asking yourself if I could pick another person in going back in time. Isolation from partaking into family matters, sleeping with your spouse is like sleeping with the enemy. Everything he or she does is repulsive. You feel like trapped in a jail with someone you wish who could disappear at all cost. At night you scream HELP silently. You may want to find SL to help alleviate the pain. You may go to great lengths to find someone who could share your sufferings and someone you could find sanctuary in.





    After divorce. After a long period of grieving, you regain your composure. Beginning to see things in color then in grey. Freedom and hope flourish in your heart and mind. You learn to take control of you own destiny. Without Him/Her out of the way, you're willing to start life from scratch, unknown and sometimes scare of the furture but yet, hopeful that you may one day meet your new significant other.





    If you have children, you will be tested as a single parent, raising them alone would be challenging but yet, you perform dutifully as time goes by. Truely a new start, new hope and new beginning.





    The End



  • i guess it will depend on what ask for divorce first - logically that one should be happy because he/she got what he/she wanted, right?



  • oh sorry I drew this sketch from the experience my older sister learned from her divorce.



  • sleeping with your spouse is like sleeping with the enemy.





    ----





    Wow, what a terrible feelings!





    bbdoll, thanks for your message, how come you can describe that shxt feelings so details? ha ha!!



  • bbdoll,





    clever girl, you give answer before i asked!!



  • someone said: marriage is a mistake, divorce makes up the mistake; everyone makes mistakes BUT don't repeat the same mistake! haha..



  • i guess it will depend on what ask for divorce first - logically that one should be happy because he/she got what he/she wanted, right?





    --





    umum, not really...probably the one who asked is the one who couldn't bear any longer in such relationship...



  • broker,





    am just curious when people keep talking about scaring to get into commitment into marriage, as the most scaring part is not stepping in, but stepping out... haha..



  • the logic here is the one who will no need to bear any longer in such relationship (that means such relationship make him/her unhappy), cut loss from such situation should make the one happy



  • it is always a difficult decision to cut loss!



  • Psychologically you regret having getting married.





    ==


    This is actually the pity part!





    Remember the day you said "yes, i do!"



  • it is always a difficult decision to cut loss!





    ==





    yap, takes few months to decide to get in, but few years to decide to cut loss...



  • the logic here is the one who will no need to bear any longer in such relationship (that means such relationship make him/her unhappy), cut loss from such situation should make the one happy





    ==





    The logic is perfectly right! Just dun know the real situation is? But pretty sure some people still think "divorce" is in negative ways, like some kind of monster, cannot touch, tell or discuss...







  • people cannot really see/know the future and most people hope it will be good - most of time, high expectation but low or negative return.



  • i personally have several male friends who deviroced, they 'enjoyed' the happy time for a while, then get married again



  • b4: you have a husband


    after: you have a ex-husband..



  • broker speaks like investor..^^!it is true that marriage is also some kind of long term investment, someone win, someone lose at the end....





    ha...so the logic is if the stock value is low, some people choose to hold it, and some people decide to cut loss.. right?



  • i personally have several male friends who deviroced, they 'enjoyed' the happy time for a while, then get married again





    ==





    haha..this is why i asked"are you talking about men or women?".





    See? Men will not standalone for long! ha ha!



  • b4: you have a husband


    after: you have a ex-husband.. + half of his money



  • given he is richer than u...



  • ok, if you choose to hold it (the marriage or stock) for a little bit longer, you should think very rationally if it has prospect. otherwise, you might miss other good opportunities, such as a new wife/husband, haha



  • haha, right! we have 'equal oppoturnity committee' in hk



  • broker, you are so realistic and rational. but propect of marriage? it is really challenging, as no one can tell what that is? Can any analyser draw a stat or report for a marriage? ha! no way~~ho ho!



  • sure, there is a stat, more than 5% marraige ends up with divorce



  • NC, that little? Can't be true...ha!







  • 'equal oppoturnity committee'?





    How to come up equal opportunity from different measurements?







  • more than ma


    i think it abt 50% in the City..



  • tricky you...more than 5% can up to 50%..what a range? ha!



  • to be positive, there are still abt 50% not divorced, hahaha...



  • Truly i always have a thought that everyone should marry twice, one while people is young and one while people is at certain age and mature enough to know what he/she exactly wants.



  • broker, guess if you will soon be engaged after 2:30pm...







  • curiouscat, right, engaged in market and marriage, haha..


    really nice chat. cu next time


    ai, should cut loss this morning................ai



  • broker, thanks, and nice chat with you^^





    Believe in what you are on hand, and hold until the day you die...haha..dont cut loss..!



  • Broker,





    I just boguht some, hope it rebouces next monday.




  • I am a divorced woman of 35 and want to find a true relations here.





    any chance here? let's give a try.


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