What the hell am i doing?

  • i met my bf in aus more than 3 years ago and i came back to hk after i graduated. The thing is, he lives in aus and will not come back.  We've been living apart for a yr now and he is urging me to go back every single day.

     I said i wanted to gain at least 1 yr work experience here before i went back.  i was trying to please him but deep down inside i know i dun wanna go back but i still like him...until a singaporean guy showed up half a yr ago. I met him in singapore on a business trip and he seemed to be a pretty decent guy to me. We've been in touch thru email and sms. We stayed friends until recently our sms have gone a bit beyond friendship.

    sigh...i'm so confused. the worst part of it is that i'm actually enjoying 'the thing' going on between us...gosh

    what should i do?

  • girl, i have similar experience as u. yes, long distance love is very hard to keep :'(

  • email and sms are not real

    trust me

  • Hi,

    This is exactly what happened to me!

    End up, we broke up! I suggest you to try to be with the Sing. You never know what is the ending story.

  • if he doesn't want to come here, and you don't really want to go there, what choice is there?

    the singaporean should have nothing to do with your decision.

    remember if you force yourself to go, you will never be happy. is it really what you want for the rest of your life?

  • kura, long-distance relationship is not that hard to keep as long as you know the one you are waiting will come back sooner or later. I think it will probably work if my bf is studying there and will come back in 1-2 years coz eventually he and i will be together in a sense that we will be in the same place. But in my case, our love won't last if i selfishly stay here. But once i choose to go back, i will have to sacrifice almost everything like my family, friends and my job.

    So much will be missed here...>_<

  • don't bother la..

    u still young..

    sms and emails.. u still very young..

    he's in singapore.. u guys are probably flirting with each other..

    u taking it seriously.. am sure he has a few ..

    u probably attractive girl otherwise there won't be such attention from two long D person..

    anyways.. stop dreaming.. and think about the practicality and reality.

  • i met my gf in aus 2 yrs ago. when she came to hk for visit few months later we started in love. but aus is where she resides, is where her future holds. and i know my base is in hk.

    sooner or later i have to face the tough decision too.

  • don't be silly, you might be correct. i hardly know him except from the emails he wrote me. i thought abt that too but when i saw him write me like 2000 words in every email which lasted for half a yr now, i just can't help thinking maybe he is serious..?

    Paul, do u think we stand a chance if he lives in spore while i'm in hk? afterall it takes one to sacrifice in order to make it work...just like the situation i'm facing now.

    ec, i know what u mean. the spore guy is another case. i will still need to decide whether i will go back even if he hasnt appeared.

    thx everyone...for your words. i feel much better now getting this out of my chest.

  • we live for ourselves..

  • kura! i'm sorry to hear your facing a similar situation as me. i'm sure i know how you feel right now. I've been thinking how my relationsip will last if he resides in hk? everything seems to be perfect except that. how sad.

    i wanna live for myself too. the thing is i dunno what's good for myself anymore...

  • How much do u like this guy from singapore? will u give up a 3 years relationship just to be with that guy whom you met on a trip? like benefit said, your just flirting with each other..nth serious. dun be fooled by the sms and emails girl!!

  • 無論講乜, 你都係背叛左一個愛你既人, 如果有因有果, 希望你會有相同教訓.

  • i hate myself for indulging in those emails and sms too. its too hard to ditch it just like that though.

  • U can one foot stepping on 2 boats, that's not criminal in Singapore, HK & Australia. As long as this is legal, it's moral

    But at the same time u MUST feel fine with yr Australia guy doing the same.


  • if u dunt know what is good for u, then u should do nothing. jsut keep both

  • NC

    open relationship in not widely accepted here

    Even myself cannot act like that tho sometimes I advise ppl to be wild. Pseudo westernized me

  • a girl,

    i really don't see the point of continuing a relationship that would not work out.

    decide now whether you wanna marry and live in aus... it's that simple

  • ladymarmalade,

    so most ppl are living against their truth mind. full of painful souls ..

  • I say I truely live for my truth mind. Love is an obligation for me to make my mate happy, how can I be detracted by other guys to do that?

  • congrad. u r one of few person on the earth who live for their true minds and live happily.

  • ec choice,

    i wish the decision to be made is as easy as your name :)

    i'm still too young to make such a choice.


    i never thought i would ever get distracted and was laughing at all those ridiculous relationships out there until it happened to me. you just never know

  • do you want to find someone who love yourself more or the opposite? you should think about this

  • sms and email mean nothing

  • are u just lonely to be alone in hk﹖how do u know the singaporean guy is better than your bf﹖and what if you go further with singaporean is it another long distance relationship﹖﹖﹖

  • i had a similar experience as urs

    if you dont want to go back it is the signal that means you will end up break up with your bf

  • "don't be silly replied @ 2008-12-10 2:58 pm

    email and sms are not real

    trust me"

    I agree and you can trust me also! You can TALK all you want or sugarcoated everything but at the end of the day you have to KNOW who can deliver and who HAD DELIVERED.

    BTW, I hate Singaporean. :P

  • georgewbush replied @ 2008-12-22 12:35 pm

    "don't be silly replied @ 2008-12-10 2:58 pm

    email and sms are not real

    trust me"

    I agree and you can trust me also! You can TALK all you want or sugarcoated everything but at the end of the day you have to KNOW who can deliver and who HAD DELIVERED.

    BTW, I hate Singaporean. :P

    i agree!

    Even phone talks are not real. Life is real.

  • sigh, i have a feeling that i could never find anyone who could be better than my bf. he's being sooo good to me that i dun think i can ever repay him. guess he loves me much more than i do that somehow puts me under a lot of pressure.

    what about ur case, sigh? you 2 didnt work out in the end?

  • being good is not sufficient for a love relationship

  • life is real...your so rite rain. my bf was the one who was with me through good times and bad times.

    i hate myself even more now.

    NC, if you gotta choose, will you be with someone who treats you good but you dun love him/her that much or someone who you really like but treats you just ok?

  • a girl,

    i will choose being sinle.

    no good can last life time

  • For girls, it is much better to be loved than to love

  • being back to single is good too. then i dun needa feel guilty about all those secret emails and sms.

    georgewbush, i'm being deeply loved right now but i dun seem to treasure it. i know you may say that i'm taking things for granted but i just can't help struggling to search for someone else. i'm so confused now

  • how's work today girl ?

  • hi benefit, work is fine. lots of ppl in the office took sick leave today though. weather's changing so take care.

  • a girl,

    he jsut pays back what he owes u,, so it is his destinity. just enjoy it..

  • NC, is that buddhistic theory you are talking about?

  • girl.. big bosses took leave as well ..

  • so you must be free huh?