我一向以為我老公個家姐(姑奶)o係一個make sense, 講道理既人. 點知原來係一個Bitch, 一個攪是攪非既X街.

cc,

"試問有幾多 99 / sum po ... etc 真係可以做到好似 " 真 " 親人咁 ... 完全無介心... 只係拿個 " 心 " 出黎對對方呢 ?? "--> I totally agree with what you said!

Sometimes, we just can't be so naive and treat our husband's family as if they are our own family members. So we all have to remember to act FAKE. That is just to avoid any troubles.

Let me share with you my poor story too... (sorry I can't type Chinese with this computer)

I just got married to the US few years ago and I had to live with my in-laws for a week. That was the worst week I've ever spent! You know when my husband was there, they 'pretended' to be nice to me. But when he's not there during the week, they really treated me like an outsider lor. e.g. They said that I'd better not to put my stuff in their son (my husband)'s bedroom! Also during the week, they asked me to wash my own clothes at my own house afterwards. And they checked what I was doing wherever I was in the house (following me like ghosts)... You know, this all happened when my husband was not around me that week. See? They are so fake!

Anyways, afterwards I tried not to tell my husband. But they always wanted us to live overnight (Saturday) during the weekend (obviously they love their son just too much!) So at last I exploded! Cuz I really couldn't stand them anymore. They were so fake in front of their beloved son but they treated me bad when he's not around! We almost couldn't leave the house during the weekend ga (they always stayed at home and disliked it when we just wanted to go out to walk around!). So crazy! And my husband was too good to them (he's the best son among the daughter/ other son they have). Sigh.... at last I told my husband that if he wanna stay overnite at their place over the weekend, he goes by himself lor. I'd rather stay alone at home every weekend!

Now my husband compromises with me and we go to have dinner (go at around 4pm) every weekend... HONESTLY, I'm VERY UNHAPPY every time I've to go there (sometimes I said why we have to go everyweek or why I have to go every week and not other people!... :( ) and I really want to find an excuse not to go. But I figured its better for my husband and so I just have to act fake. My sis-in-law's husband also doesnt like them and he doesnt even go that often ga... I admire him so much... :(

I just think that many people have problem with their husband's family. Just bear in mind that we can NEVER treat them as if they're my own family lor....

Ahh .. opps ... i didn't realize my cold hard truth comments caused such huge commotions....

anyhow...

SS, thx for sharing ur story with me . I totally feel you =(

I think those who think we are all just overeacting are those who are still single or doesn't know the whole picture.

My MIL and my SIL are okay... like they're not super super mean or anything. It's just that when my husband is around... they really know how to act ... like they'd treats me super nice ! Soooooo fake !!

I could sitll rmb one time when me and my husband were arguing about something... he said to me " 我亞媽對你唔好咩??? " . I was like.... yah...... !

Like the first time my MIL met my mom and we were at a restuarant... my MIL kept asking me (in a super nice tone of voice) to " 食野啦 xxx 。。。。 ^^ ..... 食多 d 啦 " !

I was like..... wt the hell... I've known her for like 8 yrs.. and that was the first time she said that to me. Like I could tell even she felt very unfortable saying that. All I ever hear from her is.... " 你找數呀可 ?? " Helloooooo.... F-A-K-E ?!??!

There was this one time we all had to live together .

My MIL wrote a letter to my husband i guess...complaining that we ( my husband and I ) were treating her like c r a p and stuff (of course that's all made up ).

And she waited till I was out of the house and read that letter to my husband out loud. Whoa... 一家人 wor... why so sneaky ar ??!?

Sorry, but her actions did not win her any points... makes me hate her even more !

Anyway... I just realize this is really not a pleasant place to vent , hahaa ~

I better shut my xxx before I ' put ' more 火 -______-"

Payce ~

Ahh .. opps ... i didn't realize my cold hard truth comments caused such huge commotions....

anyhow...

SS, thx for sharing ur story with me . I totally feel you =(

I think those who think we are all just overeacting are those who are still single or doesn't know the whole picture.

My MIL and my SIL are okay... like they're not super super mean or anything. It's just that when my husband is around... they really know how to act ... like they'd treats me super nice ! Soooooo fake !!

I could sitll rmb one time when me and my husband were arguing about something... he said to me " 我亞媽對你唔好咩??? " . I was like.... yah...... !

Like the first time my MIL met my mom and we were at a restuarant... my MIL kept asking me (in a super nice tone of voice) to " 食野啦 xxx 。。。。 ^^ ..... 食多 d 啦 " !

I was like..... wt the hell... I've known her for like 8 yrs.. and that was the first time she said that to me. Like I could tell even she felt very unfortable saying that. All I ever hear from her is.... " 你找數呀可 ?? " Helloooooo.... F-A-K-E ?!??!

There was this one time we all had to live together .

My MIL wrote a letter to my husband i guess...complaining that we ( my husband and I ) were treating her like c r a p and stuff (of course that's all made up ).

And she waited till I was out of the house and read that letter to my husband out loud. Whoa... 一家人 wor... why so sneaky ar ??!?

Sorry, but her actions did not win her any points... makes me hate her even more !

Anyway... I just realize this is really not a pleasant place to vent , hahaa ~

I better shut my xxx before I ' put ' more 火 -______-"

Payce ~

To be open with you all, 未嫁時我已經唔鐘意同我老公家人接觸. 因為佢地好多痳煩野-----簡單講,傳統老土. 好得意, 佢地一家好鐘意o係人地面前扮好現代, 好民住, 好開通. 其實就係一個好封建既香鄉人.

我由唔鐘意-------去到嘗試接受(因為結咗婚)-------去到用個心(當時我都真係覺得自己要融入) 原來唔知為乜? 我選擇要嫁入黎, 係因為我鐘意我老公, 老公又鐘意我先結婚. 我點解用個心係因為我老公. 如果唔係我為乜要對住lee家咁識扮野既人. 新抱點解一定要乖, 新抱都可以同你地反面!!

我唔識玩乜野陰毒, 有乜野唔滿意大可以直接同我講. 唔好在講"自己人"lee三個字, !! 唔好再講" 我地一家無所謂架", "唔好扮曬野la唔該", 我覺得你地好黑人憎呀?

講多樣野比你地知, 如果我老公係我奶奶面前比較"就"我, 佢會即時黑面!! 痴線, 兩老婆恩恩愛愛唔鐘意, 係要見倒我同我老公鬧交就開心!! ---------"自己人"

我覺得係佢地自己攪破壞, 我覺得之前我做埋d野, (乜野respect, 大家關係要融合), 原來自己多x餘!! (你對人好, 人地未必要對你好).

我今日係到講, 多x餘d野我唔會再做!!

This type of hatred towards our in-laws do NOT happen overnight !

Those who are suffering would best understands it.

In most cases... they are accumulative !

Everything happens for a reason....

pp: 我同意你講法!!

我一向唔出聲, 突然唔想再係咁. (我唔係要乜return, 亦唔稀罕, 但最起馬你唔好背後講我, o係我面前扮好鐘意我囉). 大可以大家唔出聲算數!!

時時話我當佢地好外人好客氣, 你想我點呀? 食完飯佢地幾個姑奶永遠走入房咬耳仔. 個阿媽就捉住個仔. 我都feel bad架. 研究佢地當我外人定, 定我當佢地外人呀??

唉, 越講越想喊!!

好Y慶都吾知係物野人，睇佢講野就知佢無家教既「下等人」

不論件事誰是誰非, 你這種態度好可恥和衰格

carmen: 大家道不同道不同不相為謀, 你覺得我下等人, 可恥和衰格. 大可以講去你既睇法. 無謂一句起兩句止!!

Come on !!

乜野.........."不論件事誰是誰非".........我e+就係講緊件事!!!

我有我睇法，不須要你接受和跟你爭論

我有我的睇法，不須要你接受和跟你爭論

"不論件事誰是誰非, 你這種態度好可恥和衰格

我有我的睇法，不須要你接受和跟你爭論"

--------------------------------------------------------

我用返你套理論 : 我覺得你不知所謂, 九唔答八走來鬧人!! 不過"我有我的睇法，不須要你接受和跟你爭論". Thank you!!

人點對你, 你點對反人. 我E+先明白係做人既態度!!

唔知點解，身邊朋友中，所有男人對外母關係都唔錯，一般都係正面，最多加句「係囉唆的，不過老人家係咁，就下佢地得架啦」。

但女人中，佔左一半同家姑關係差，關係好果一半，通常性情比較溫婉，順得人，關係差既，一般本身都係唔係善男信女，淨係睇佢鬧家姑既嘴臉都想死。

人與人之間的關係，或多或少像一面鏡。別人對待你的態度，正好反映著你是如何對待別人。

本來風馬牛不相及、毫無關係的兩個家庭忽然間拉到一起，你說立刻就可以相處得水乳交融，童話內都不能發生，科幻小說才有。

聽著她們的所謂「問題」，不禁納悶，根本不是問題，只是一些如「借路，讓路」般小事，本身並無問題，問題發生於女人們半步不讓，「點解我要讓你先？」

尤其是女人極容易¬「睇唔順眼」，牙膏中間唧定由尾唧、廁所板放唔放低，毛巾點掛，都係焦點。

老實講，睇唔順眼都係小事，男人都有野睇唔順眼，不過男人好少出聲，亦唔太在意，執左佢算數，所以小事化無。

但女人就天生係教育家，佢會企圖、試圖、或意圖以教育方式去令別人接受佢一套，甚至會將「犯人」帶到犯案現場勞改，思想教育。

無中生有，小事化大，爭端和裂痕由此而起。

man x100 agree

家姑又唔係對住你講,佢講完,你話之佢.當無聽過.駛乜理?

板主咁7吋, 佢老公三生有幸

世界吾係靠惡,小心惡有惡報

我要highlight反我之前所講:

" 無論你buy我定唔buy!! 我都多謝大家同我分享!! 我真係不吐不快."

針唔到肉永遠唔知痛!! 我lee個故事可能發生o係好多家庭當中. 我最想帶出既, 就係大家要遷就, 要講道理!! 唔係一面倒男家要乜乜物物, 攪到大家鬧曬交, 可以遷下人都唔得. 有奶奶都要有阿媽!! 大家都有阿媽生架!

每個人都有底線, 當不停有人挑戰你或線時, 你都好可能由一隻白兔變成一隻老虎.

d人咁鐘意化身其他人! haha...Anyway,I don't care! E然welcome所有不同意見

我唔識你, 無攪到你, 比人鬧下等人, 可恥衰格就OK.

我選擇正面回應佢, 我就叫靠惡!! 惡有惡報.

或者你地arm, 我應該返火星!!

大家心平氣淨呢度咩人都有

未返火星前, 等我介紹一下自己.

我係人地新抱, 一個唔識轉彎未角既女人. 一向唔多出聲, 最緊要同男家關係OK, 互相尊重. 你要我擦佢地鞋去討好佢, 我唔會. 但要尊敬佢地, 我會. (一定會)!!

有日我發覺, 我lee個所謂自己人既新抱, 原來並唔係自己人, 嫁咗我最大既duties原來係照顧老公, 同埋男家感受外. 其他都係次要. d人話好似賣女咁, 我e+覺!!

我好錫我屋企人, 特別係媽咪!! 我媽咪時時怕我難做, 永遠都叫我要就男家!! 我好唔開心, 係咪佢地無理取鬧都要就人!! 我never say no, 係咪有一次除外都比人鬧我唔識做人新抱???

我有幾個姑奶, 一向以為大家OK, 當中特別覺得一個比起佢地屋企較為明事理. 點知今次成件事都係佢攪出黎. 我好失望, 唔知點解特別對佢好失望!! 可能我認為佢唔係攪事之人!! 點知, 原來佢比我奶奶更厲害!!

我唔識handle, 除了發我老公脾氣, 話佢屋企野蠻之外!! 還有心裡好憎姑奶! 你有你屋企人, 難道我無屋企人嗎!!

我今次鬧人Bitch, 或者你地講得"arm", 原來我自己都變埋一個Bitch!! 你地有無見到我同人鬧交幾Bitchy! haha..... 心裡只係想著，我有道理，我怕你什麼!! 不要再做""弱者""". 或者係到thank you你地睇, 同埋回應過我lee個post既人!! 剛剛同我鬧完交果位, 我都真係thank you你, 唔好意思!! 再鬧我都唔知為乜, (當時我仲有無比既power鬧落去!!) hahaha.......

好似套cartoon咁, 其實我都係: I love my family姐!!

Goodbye!!

都係個句 "退一步海闊天空"

板主,

I go throught the same thing as you. I know how you feel and how it's really frustrating when other people don't understand your feeling.

I pity you.

I only have 1 sister in law and that's enough to drive me crazy.

Me and my inlaws don't get along at all.

My mother in law told my mom i have bad temper ...etc.

Right ! I can't get along with them because I AM NOT ONE OF THEM !

Therefore, I chose to stay away from them, not see them often.

The more often we meet, the more ' things ' they have to gossip about.

No matter how nice I treat them, they will just think it's 應份 .

On the other hand, if they do not like something you're doing, than you are the BAD one !

I also get very very angry because of these things.

Now I 屈出病 (精神病) and also physcially ill because of all these pressures from my in laws.

So then I said : " FORGET IT " !! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH !!!

Now I take it as nothing, as long as me and my husband still love each other (of course having an understanding and supportive husband is very important) .

correction:

throught = through

as CC said, this is NOT exactly the best place to let your frustration out. you will just get nasty comments from people here. sad but true =[

you have to remember, the people here are usually very bored and stressed from work (probably waiting to get off work)... you still expect them to say nice things ? I think not.

so just go talk to your good friends or something.

take care .

pp...学多d中文, 就物病都無架 la

好提議喎亞 EDWARD =]

can you be my private tutor ?

Ques 1 to you: what is ... " 物 " 病 ... ??

又知人地中文唔得 ?

自己英文唔得o乍o卦 ?!

撩交嗌。。。

仲有, 人地好似唔係寫比你, 睇唔明就咪咁 8 啦 !

wed-sat出trip, 咪約tue食囉. 你都話你一家無所謂...

一餐飯搞到咁...唔知為乜.

一係就做盡d, 生死不相往還, 連戲都唔使做咪大家舒服囉~

我屋企有度好, 過節早十日八日食都得. 大家都唔使勞神勞氣!

Man,

Maybe you are true about guys not having as much trouble with in-laws. BUT part of the reason is also cuz of the in-laws are usually more demanding towards their 'Sun Po'! This is just tradition. Like, I never heard of in-laws asking/ ordering(!) their 'Lui Sai' to do this and that.

Payce,

I totally can feel how fake your MIN is! Sigh... I guess we can never be a real part of their family!

My in-laws also try to be so fake when they are in front of my husband! So now everytime I go to their house, I try to stick with my husband so that they cannot spy on me or ask me anything. So I kinda lie to myself that they treat me ok now :( . But then they're still kinda troublesome/ annoying sometimes. Cuz my in-laws are both stubborn/ traditional people and they think whatever they say/ do must be correct. But most of the time they're just not even making sense or they're over-reacted! And i think they don't like me or my sis-in-law's husband is partly cuz of their character. They just never trust people! U know my 'Goo Yeah' already knew them for 1X years! BUT they still treat him as an outsider and they always force him to do this & that or just have too much bullshxt. That's why he doesn't even wanna meet them often now. Even he goes back to have dinner with them, he won't talk to them or goes near them until dinner's ready.

And you know what... even he's a man AND he doesn't really speak Cantonese that well, they can still bother him! So you can feel how bad my situation is! I'm simply their 'focus' because I can communicate with them and they think that I come from HK, I must be as 'tradtional' as them so they can order me! So the only way is to stick with my husband so hopefully they can't say much... Or I really need to find some excuse to not going back like my 'goo yeah'...

PP & 好X慶,

Don't be so upset about some people's comments here. I guess they won't understand if they don't have the same type of in-laws or situation. Just ignore them. haha just like we should try to ignore our in-laws. I think it's a better way cuz we won't feel as bad and it won't ruin our 'good relationship' as much. Of course I'm not talking about we have to 'obey' whatever they say. What I meant is just to ignore what they say or, better still, don't see them that often.

版主,我非常明白你的心情. 雖然我不是家姑既問題, 但也是奶奶的問題. 有時屈埋屈埋真係好辛苦, 我嫁左半年了,跟奶奶一起住,我的心沒有安寧過. 我奶奶常常要我用她的方法去做家務,但我的性格是不喜歡給人指指點點,但我只係想用我的方法去完成一樣家務,為什麼也不可以. 最初的時候,我每事也忍受,我也只會"嗯"一聲便照做, 但我發覺當你愈順她意的時候,她叫我做的事便愈來愈多,態度也是很悔氣的. 我真的很不開心, 晚上只有用哭來宣洩. 後來,我發覺我做得多也好,不做也好, 她也會在我背後說我不是. 最後我想通了, 做了自己的本份就好了. 少說話,少發表, 這樣便不會被她的悔氣說話傷害.

我現在也是很不開心的, 我不是住在香港, 所以在這裡只有老公一個親人.

我做得多也好,不做也好, 她也會在我背後說我不是. <=== EXACTLY !!!!!!

tt,

I also agree with you. My in-laws are as 'demanding' + stubborn as yours ga. And my lo yeah likes ordering ppl to do this and that too. Everyone thinks the same. So if I live with them (esp. they treat me as an outsider), I'll be the same as you!

I really feel sorry about your situation... will you consider to move out soon? I think it's better for your relationship with your in-laws or even your husband if you can move out asap. You know I also live abroad after getting married. My husband is also my only 親人 here. Sometimes I really feel so poor (esp the 1st year). My husband is so good to his parents (which is suppose to be good) and at 1st I had to stay overnite EVERY weekend with them... sigh... the wrost is they were never nice... They even didn't like it when my husband just went outside for a while with me. It's like every weekend is a nightmare! I still don't like going there even just for dinner every week now. Not to say to live with them...

tt, honestly, I feel so insecure here sometimes... I have nothing here. So if anything happens, I can just leave this place and go back to HK and start all over again...

tt,

I forgot to say... I really hope that you can move out very soon! Don't live with them if you can! btw, where are you living now? I hope you can meet some friends there and talk with them, then maybe you will feel better.

我故奶都係一個死剷

搵過百萬一年，但購物狂，爭好多數，要D 屋企人幫又老奉。

仲牙斬斬，死認叻，連我屋企人都串。

女人中，佢都叫格衰 !

多謝咁多人留言比我 :) 等我講下個結局比大家知.

我同我家人終於星期二食了團年飯!! 咁星期日中秋我兩公婆自己同奶奶食.

昨天早上, 我同我老公講, 不如晚上去奶奶到食飯, 順便中秋前攞盒月餅上去先. (我老公好開心, 可能佢知我唔想佢太難做).

去到我先知個攪事姑奶同其他姑奶都o係到!! 我雖然好唔鐘意, 但我無出聲, 我攞盒餅出來, 細姑奶即時回應: " 乜你咁老土架, 我地都無所謂" (我心唸, 又來). 食飯時, 我逐個叫大家食飯!! 佢地無應我, 一路望住電視. 果餐飯大家dead air! 後來, 我老公夾"住"菜比我, 點知攪事姑奶"啤"住我地. (我心唸你係咪痴線架, 我知佢唔高興, 馬上同我老公講, 你夾比奶奶啦!) (當時我真係好想馬上離開)

我第一個食完, 我坐o係sofa同攪事姑奶個小朋友玩, 點知佢即時話: 小朋友, 過來鈐S. (剛剛先飲完)!! OK, 我唔出聲>.<.....

飯後, 佢地姑奶走入房, 叫埋小朋友入房, 然後關埋門! (平時唔會關門, 同叫埋小朋友入去). 我見到咁, 我唯有叫我老公回家, 我話今日好累!!

最終, 我發現如果我老公對我好d, 佢地會好唔高興!!!

或者佢地見我同老公鬧曬交, 佢地會開心D

講下我自己一向的做法....

我老公每逢出街食飯，不論同任何人，佢都會夾送比我，但如果同佢屋企人食，我係好刻意在冇人聽到下...食之前...吩咐定叫佢到時唔好夾送比我，要就夾比佢阿媽，我唔係買任何人怕，我係息事寧人，因為我姑奶和姑仔都一定望望貢的

如果兩親家坐埋一齊食飯的話，我一定是先夾比奶奶，第二舊才夾比我阿媽，我最清楚我阿媽最鍾意食乜野，就算夾第二又何況，所以頭彩比番奶奶就好好睇睇

我手段圓滑+亦都係真心對奶奶，對姑奶亦尊重，用真誠贏盡老公歡心

我姑奶冇小朋友，老公實際好錫佢，但唔識tum佢，有時大庭廣眾更會鬧姑奶...所以老公對我好，佢會眼望望....我好理解佢心理，所以我體諒佢....

我老公在外一定拖住我，老實講，這動作除了關心外，亦係成了習慣而矣，夫家人有時都會眼望望，甚至姑爺會講一句笑：「驚XX走失呀???」呢d冇影響人的，我們照樣我行我素~~~~

SS

I want to move out too but we already have one mortgage, hence, it's hard to get another one. Maybe that's is my destiny. But I still can't to let go of it, because I feel very upset after I got home, I feel like I have heaps of pressure in my heart. Sigh......

I am glad that u don't have to live with parents, as the quote in chinese, meeting each other would be easier than living together.You know what, I excercise 3 days a week to get out of home, I have home but i don't want to go back. Was it like a teenager? But I 've got married. I can't believe that's my life.

好X慶,

I don't wanna "add oil to the fire", but your sis-in-law seemed really 'ma fan'! I mean your husband 夾"住"菜 for you is really sth minor. Does she live with your 99? If not, you better go there when she's not there. Although she will still talk sth bad about u behind you. At least you will feel better by not seeing her/ dealing with her!

tt,

oh i'm sad to hear that you can't move out for now. Is it the house you're living now under you and your husband's name? I mean if it's your 99 living in your house, it's really difficult to ask her to leave and find another place. Sigh...hopefully you can talk with your husband and find out a good solution. Btw, does he know about all this? You better talk to him.

I understand why you don't want to go home for sure!!! Even I go back to have dinner with them every weekend, I feel like I wanna die. Cuz once we got there (usually it's around 4pm), they wouldn't even want us to leave the house! You know it's a waste of 1 day (long commute too) If we did, they would ask many Qs before letting us go out even for a while (even it's half an hour)! And they seemed to be afraid that I'm using their son's $. They're crazy! I just didn't wanna stay there for hours facing them! Besides, they're really picky & don't like going out. Esp my 99, she's afraid of EVERYTHING. she just likes going to the market and no where else! So to speak, wherever we go, its not good (even to the park nearby their house cuz my 99 thinks it's dirty & dangerous!). And even we ask her to join, she usually won't. You can just tell how crazy she is. Also after she saw on the news about sth bad, she'll 'exerggerate' it herself 100 times. So she never feels secure even she stays in the house (she can't stay alone in the house!)

You see how weird my in-laws are (I can continue cuz BOTH my in-laws have tons of problems... but i better not to bore you :P) Sigh... So yes, it is really better if we dont have to live with in-laws.

Hey when you are at home, can you just hide in your bedroom until your husband goes back? I mean at least she can't bother you as much! It's better to avoid her or just ignore her sometimes. I found that the more we get close to them, they'll just take things for granted & try to interrupt/ EVEN control our lives! So that's what my 'goo yeah' and I do when we go to their house during the weekend now (my 'goo yeah' doesnt even go that much! Only my husband, being the good & eldest son wants to go there and I just don't want to make him feel unhappy so I go with him :( ). We all just 'pretend' that we're busy in working on the computer or sth. My 'goo yeah' will bring his own laptop & sit there pretending to be working. And I do the same now if we can't go out (like in jail... haha). My in-laws don't know how to use computer, so they can't ask much. But of course they will still go near us and 'spy' on us la...sigh...

I really hope that you can find out some kind of solution. If you always avoid staying at home, it won't do good to you. You better try to find out some solutions so that you can 'live' with her w/o having troubles. Good luck and best wishes to you!