Do u think money is important in a relationship?



  • My husband promised to give me $100,000 per month before we get married. But after we got married, he said he has some financial problem, so, he has not given me any.



    I try to understand, but.. I cant really try...



    If u re me, what ll u do?



  • You kidding? You marry him because of money? How naive you are.....



  • We all need money BUT good relationship needs more than that.





    hii



  • I dont really married him because of money





    I love him too





    But as it is a promise before married, and...





    I am just lost...



  • so, what will u do?





    the relationship is still good



  • 有錢有愛情, 無錢無感情....唉....咁你米走去搵個有錢再嫁米得羅.



  • so, marriage is like a game in today... pity pity





    I have not thinking of dumping him...





    But just want to let me to having a better feeling on this....





    still lost...




  • I think the answer is depends on youself... if the relationship is still good but the problem is only the "pocket money"... I think it is not a problem if you are really love him......



  • he is the one does'e keep the promise


    so there is no obligation for you as well



  • would u give your wife money too?


    it is normal and not normal in today?



  • well, but I need to live...





    daily expenses...





    when I work hard again, I will has less time with him. And I think I need to work less to prepare the body for baby...





    So I need pocket money... u think my thinking is appropiate... I am not sure...



  • yeah, I think so


    that's the responsilbe for a married man




  • 你都講左你先生有經濟問題, 佢有問題你都唔support佢, 仲講佢唔守信用, 咁你都算愛佢??????????????????????????????





    he said he has some financial problem








    My husband promised to give me $100,000 per month before we get married. But after we got married, he said he has some financial problem, so, he has not given me any.



  • I know is not a must, but ...


    if 2 people chat about it before marriage.





    it is so called a promise





    Sometimes I try to imagine he is in crisis, but seeing him lending money to his fds and buying this and that... I am really lost of interest to know his thought about it





    I tried to chat with him, but his feeling towards it is very negative. Only when I stopped chatted with him about it, we are in a better feeling again.





    but i will use up my saving in few months soon, I have to pay my mom HK28,000 per month (it is what I did before I married him). My mom never allow me to skip it even a month ....





    still lost







  • what a wrong decision you have made, Ms pretty



  • "wrong" is meant what to you, to support him...





    or what ar?



  • meaning that it is a wrong choice


    he is the one can't keep the promoise, so what are you hesitating ?



  • You should find out if he is really experiencing financial hardship. If it turns out to be an excuse for not paying any 家用,then you should get tough with him about this issue, instead of keeping the good feeling.



  • haha, dump him





    and being single... I know I will not be happy





    he swallow many other promise too, like not to smoke in front of me (as we want to have a baby), like to lose pounds but he keeps on eating...





    He is not a prefect guy, but still the best guy I ever met...





    Except the 3 things he has not done, all other things I give him 100 marks



  • how long have you guys been married ?



  • anyway it seems you are so far satisfied


    so you can't complain





    or you didn't meet any good guys in your life yet



  • dear rosy,





    how tough is tough, in front of someone u love?





    U married or single?



  • not long, half year... so, I will be using up my saving soon... as reducing job and keep on giving to my mom



  • I met many PK in my life





    some so called true hearted ppl, but, when u are in hardtime, u know there is no position in his heart





    Maybe, a woman with pretty face is like that, man acts to be sincere, but as u get older, u know there is just few so called sincere





    he is the only one, that has a sincere heart, I still treasure



  • Dear Rosy





    thanks for your reply





    U married or single?



  • Ms. Pretty,





    money is veryt important in real life,





    so money is important for the relationship.





    if there is finance prolem with ur man, u really need to consider if its right time to have a bb.


    i m traditional. i dunt think it is no good for good for him not to keep his words. Especailly, he is no problem wiht fiance.


    If he does not want to pay 100K, he can pay 50K. it is very bad for not paying cent..







  • MsPretty replied @ 2008-03-27 3:52 pm





    dear rosy,





    how tough is tough, in front of someone u love?





    U married or single?











    If your husband is having financial difficulties, then I would suggest you to support him. However, if he lends money to his friends but has not pay you any 家用 for half a year,then that's absolutely ridiculous. He is not doing what a husband should do. I understand you love him, but you shouldn't let someone taking advantage of you to such extend.



  • And rosy





    I know he has about $2M in his personal banking, and he explains that is the money for the baby to be born and bringing him up





    He wants to keep more money for the family....that is what he said





    Before we get married, it is speculated that there would be about $700,000 per month from profit of the company, but now, for some unknown reason, it is kept of not yet released. Thus, he explained the plan is in a mess.. thus, not giving me money...





    really, too much money and money issue.. I hate all these



  • hi pizzalover,





    BTW, he never knows I will have financial problem soon...




  • Ms. Pretty.





    He is bullshxt to keep the saving for his bb.


    man should never put such life pressure on his lady. if he fails to take care his lady, how can u expect he will take care bb proerply.








    How you can expect a company can declare HK$700,000 profit everyone to its shareholder?





    If there was 700,000 dividend declared every month. his a/c would not as less as HKD2.0M..


    or u r talking abt 2.0M EURO?



  • Ms. Pretty.





    i think he jsut pretends he doet not know.





    As husand of someone, i think he at least have rough idea of your income and expanditure.. and expect the problem u r facing



  • Ms. Pretty.





    I agree with what pizalover said...





    and you should tell your mom.




  • You should tell your mom about the whole thing...perhaps she would come up with some clever ways to deal with that....you definitely need advice from older people.



  • HI pizzalover





    it is not a listed company, and they have partners





    Personal saving and monthly profit is never a equal, and he used quite a lumpsum to buy an expensive house when we got married (of course, under his name, my mom said that he is a smart guy, not to write the wife name, that my mom said if she were me, would not forgive me)





    that is not an issue to me, what i need is to have a good relationship with my husband, to have a bb, and to have enough money for monthly use and to give my mom as I was... and to continue my small business ...



  • no worry, even the property under his title,





    u can have equal interest under the newest case law in HK if you dirvoce. So it is given your marriage is registed in HK. not Las Vegas





    if it is regular company, i still think it is impossible to have HK$700,000.00 dividend per month per shareholder.





    he told you abt it?




  • thanks buddy for your advise





    Dear Rosy,


    Hope u would find a man not like this in your life





    Pizzalover,


    Remember to care your wife well





    For me,


    I guess all ppl are selffish in this planet.


    To what extend...


    Seeing him buying very expensive things, my heart not happy, but as I used to not care about my man, thus, I keep as I was. I hate woman being "lili lala" for the whole day





    About my mom


    Telling her may not help, she will not allow me to stop for monthly paying (I knew that, as I had hard time few years ago, and she never understand that...) If she talked to my husband.... I dont want this scene... a good family relationship is torn there after.





    So, to be a good wife and a good daughter, is to back to work hardly (would it may help on the issue...)



  • if u dunt discuss it with ur man, ur pocket is going to be torn very soon.


    after it is torn, u have to discuss wiht him and face his true reaction from.





    so why not face the problem before ur pool dries up completely..?



  • HI pizza,





    I talked with him about 2 months ago, and the experience is very bad. Seems the relationship is all about money, that is never my aim.





    If my pool dry, the options are following:


    - close my company


    - find a job


    - find another job if still cannot covered my mom monthly pay ( as I used to be)





    He faced many ppl and is a good negotiator... I know I am not as smart and as clam as him... and the "back" of all these is - I dont like to beg for this. If he gives me, that is happy that he kept his promise before marriage. If he does not, all I can do is to tell him. If he keeps on his explanation, rationals, reasons, myths, beliefs, whatever....





    I have no method.



  • the problem it is hard to have a job with 70KHKD salary a month..



  • for him, that $700,000 per month for him, I have no doubt, as i know what is happening to his company.





    For me, I find a job of $50,000 per month should not be hard, but sad is to close my company as i raised that for years





    and, after having a job, less time to keep body in healthy position, and vomiting during working... haha... and no time to take care of bb.. some the bb would be another follower of "bun bun". typical HK family.





    that is life



  • Hi rosy,





    wanna to share your situation with me?


    let me jealous of u





    yes, not everyone can be as lucky as u are



  • and hi pizza,





    how about u? u married or still single?


    let me have a chance to jealous of others...



  • if u were me, how would u tell my husband what I am thinking ( i told him before, and that is all his explanation..) or just never to think he will keep his promise and work for my living as I were?



  • 真係想問, 係米一定要請工人先可以生BB?





    自己煮飯食, 可以慳錢又健康, WHY一定要個男人比足十萬你先可以過活?





    個家你都有份, 唔好講其他, 個男人好個女人好, 係經濟有困難既時候, 唔係應該兩個人好好去解決? 慳D米唔駛用咁多錢羅, 萬花筒過活, $10,000,000都唔夠你駛啦.......



  • hi cool





    please read the text as above (no one think he has financial problem)


    it is not the issue of $100K, it is the issue of promise







  • Mspretty,





    i get nothing which u will feel jealous. just my life is simple. 50K a month is sufficient to support my daily expense.





    i m single.



  • Well, it is complicated issue, chat with yr husband. And if u really love one another, u will soon solve the problem.


    Good luck!



  • pizzalover replied @ 2008-03-27 8:51 pm





    Mspretty,





    i get nothing which u will feel jealous. just my life is simple. 50K a month is sufficient to support my daily expense.





    i m single.





    ----


    Hi pizza





    So, u are single


    but knowing that u have thought of taking care of your woman, that is good, not a must in HK





    last night, I suddenly have the gut to chat with my husband, he is silent. Tonight, he said he would give $20K per month to me.





    U know, I am not happy at all. I have a feeling he does not want to take care of me, and I force / beg him to do so.





    And for $20K per month, cannot support my mom which I used too. So, my thinking in my mind is back to my little company to work hard again.





    So, the conclusion is, even when married or not married, the most reliable person is myself. I used to think I got a guy who love me, now I think everyone loves themselves the most.





    So, u tell I should take that $20,000 per month?


    I feel ashame.







  • hi, Ms Pretty





    nice to meet u in mid morning!


    mind to chat in msn?



  • Hi MsPretty, does he really show he loves himself more than u? or there're other difficulty that it's the max ability for him to give u $20k per mth. if u ask more, will u put yr husband in a difficult situation then? through yr words, it seems u love yourself more as well....usually mention how a guy takes care of a woman.....then how you think your role being a wife? just to enjoy? not share....? as u mention, yr husband is in hard time...why still blame? actually, i only consider yr husband is a good guy for the family though not for u since i believe the family is not just for wife to enjoy life. even if yr husband gets 2 million cash, can't share with u for just spending....as mentioned, if it's set aside for children, what's wrong? it's for long term.....of coz, in short term, can spare some for for daily spending and he did agree to give u $20k (of coz, i dun know if the amount is reasonable or not)....instead, u any support to him? actually, not offensive in blaming u, i only mean yr idea seems not like a normal idea for marriage. yr husband keeps explaining...is it reasonable? if yes, why can't accept? of coz, if not, it's another question.....so....it's somehow interesting fr yr words that u were the role of yr mom that u dun understand yr husband like yr mom doesn't understand her daughter.....again, dun mean to pick u but just want to give an idea based on yr "facts". it seems u only mention yr husband doesn't understand and yr mum doesn't understand.....and u? or u have an idea that a pretty gal should have certain previlege? sorry for the long passage......