(New & original) Any decent man care for chat?



  • sheesh..........where are those guys?


    they only know how to ran away n hide to their little corner?


    what a bunch of loser


    lol



  • nouveau_riche


    how would i know where they are?>


    u moron


    u scared them all away


    see.......i told u to chill out


    u never listen


    lol



  • craig





    My fault. I should have been more 'witty'; 'intellectual'; and 'substantial'.





    Don't worry, the snob just can't stand speaking in private. She loves to show off.




  • nouveau_riche


    got u pal


    yea........tell me about it


    she love to show off indeed




  • anyways it was amusing!


    n it make my day too


    thanks to them


    lol



  • I guess I did challenge and provoke some people!





    Those who can't stand a woman to be confident, strong and has an opinion.





    Back to the infidelity discussion. You guys are right, adultery involves actual sex. I guess we should be discussing about infidelity. How to define right or wrong.







  • Hi Guys,





    Am not chilling out. Enjoying everyone's comments for time being. In and out of the thread whilst doing something else. Our host is missing now. Hope she comes back, not be afraid of sharp comments.



  • Amyrillis,


    No need to define right or wrong. To one couple, it is right, to another may be wrong, in others' eyes. If both are truly in love, this is right for them. But one with intention to cheat and hurt, then it is wrong for the suffered person but the one with ill intention will still maintain he or she is right because that was the objective to begin with. So our judgment to enter into infidelity or adultery control our ending.



  • Amyrillis,


    As host, define your stand on infidelity. I love to know what you think. For a strong and confident woman, will you have an affair if you meet a right guy or prefer short and sweet relationship?




  • Amyrillis





    What is the difference between 'infidelity' and ' adultery"?







  • Hey Everybody,


    Don't run away from direct question to reveal one's true stand. If we put ours forward, then we can challenge and question other's. Who knows, maybe you can convince people to go along your way.




  • I just like women who are confident; strong in mind and have opinions, but definitely not snob who thinks she is very different from the mass more high class when she goes to business dinners; banquets and functions to take all the shxts from customers at the right time and at the right place..................:p)




  • typo: and more high class..........



  • nouveau_riche,


    Adultery - an affiar of which one is a married person.


    Infidelity - unfaithfullness, mainly due to adultery.


    Both likely involve sex anyway, with or without love.


    Amyrillis, both are connected, should be discussed as one.







  • My stand on infidelity..


    BlueDiamond, for the record, these are my stand.. but I can't guarantee if it does happen, I will do the same :P





    on myself - will do ulmost to maintain marriage. But I can't guarantee I won't commit infidelity, I am aware that I am just flash & blood. At my low point, I might not be able to resist a warm hug.





    on my spouse - I will aim to forgive and forget.





    on other people - it's really their own business. An affair could be a drop dead romantic story.



  • BlueDiamond





    As already said, most people just can't take criticism. When you make comments different from theirs, they think you are being aggressive and rude and low-class!When you challenge their theories or beliefs, they accuse you of being ignorant!





    Most are very bad debaters!




  • BlueDiamond, enlighten me. Adultey is the criminal term? It is well defined with sexual intercourse. Infidelity is unfaithfulness, doesn't necessarily involve sexual intercourse?





    Correct me.



  • to me, infidelity and adultery is the same. i suppose the focus of discussion is not the terminolgy, rather it requires a deeper thought of infidelity.


    1. admittedly this is not commonly accepted, however it happens all the time.


    2. how to face the situations when it appeals to us.




  • So, xman & BlueDiamond, what's your stand on this topic?



  • amyrillis,


    i think you are spliting hair with your definitions; i really can't see much difference between the two.



  • amy,


    a bit confused now.


    i think we must confine the discussion as if first person. in other words, it is pointless to discuss if we are just 3rd party watching it is happening to your fd case.


    Just put it it is you, you meet a new romance after marriage, what hold u back ? or what lead u in ?



  • Amyrillis,


    Fine line between two. But in layman's terms, will a couple not to hug, kiss and make love when mutually attracted. For a very close relationship between a man and a woman, law will define infidelity as part of adultery when one married person is involved. The assumption is sex is already part of it. Unless others can trust and accept as close friendship.


    Thank you for putting forward your honest stand. Most will not resist one when encoutering under any circusmstances. I will not resist too if the right person appears and if I am in the mood. It could be just a short one as you said - drop dead love story. I support your stand, try to maintain marriage, try to forget and forgive - but hard to handle I know.




  • Amyrillis





    When 'infidelity' and 'adultery' are jointly discussed in this context, they make no difference. In other contexts, it of course does not necessarily involve sex. Don't you agree?







  • i suppose BlueDiamond is a man. I am wondering the difference of view that men and ladies have in this topic. Apparently, we have too few ladies around to share.



  • where does trade sex fall within these definitions?


    what role does feeling play in adultery or infidelity?


    what is the definition of sex if sex is the deciding factor?




  • ulb,


    u are sharp picking it up



  • I do not bother how society measure my affair. It is only the person I am involved with and my family I have to face. How to handle and what consequences will depend on who I am involve with, how each will think and decide. It could be a nasty affair to end or nothing will happen. We all have to navigate when time comes if we enter the game. If afraid, then don't try.



  • I got it. So this discussion of infidelity involves sex then.





    I have misunderstood. I thought adultery is the act of having out of marriage sex. And infidelity is involvement in an affair.





    xman, I presented my stand as the 1st person. So, what's your honest stand on this?



  • but in most cases, whether affair start is not a planned action, so cant really be fully prepared.


    Secondly, i presume no one entering this game to really plan for the contingency and consequence if leaked. Very few ppl think the consequences are affordable, still lots of cases happen.



  • The only thing that would stop me from having an affair is the feeling of my spouse. I might not have passionate love with him anymore, even so, you won't hurt a close family member, right?



  • xman, you are avoiding my question :P





    Are you the conservative type?



  • i understand the commitment made when getting married. the utmost effort is to maintain the family.


    if it happens to me, i only wish it is a nice enough lady. haha...




  • I believe in love. If the love in an affair is truthful, I won't discount it.



  • Trade sex will likely be excluded from this. Most spouse will let go. Adultery/Infidelity may or may not involve love between two persons. No love=sex, with love=making love with feelings. Woman and man will have same thinking, dpending on one's character, education, attitude and up bringing. Man can be very posessive too, not just woman. Woman can also walk away from a relationship with grace.



  • let me first say this....nothing i say here shall be held against me, in court or otherwise....


    yes, i have committed adultery, and am currently involved in an affair.


    i hope it's a phase i am going through, and i don't want anyone to get hurt.


    and please save your judgement to yourselves.



  • amy,


    not sure if it answer your question. but i think it is hard for me to say definitely whether i will or i will not, without having real (hypothetical) 3rd to evaluate.





    i am conservative in this aspect indeed.



  • ulb,


    i am proud of u being honest and brave.




  • For me, I prefer an affair with a woman whom I can chat with, good feelings, understand each other's position, hence it is much more loving feelings and exciting when making love. I don't discount too.



  • ulb, I applaued your honesty!





    If the bottomline is not to get anyone hurt, people tends to think, if I can conceal perfectly, then I can keep the affair and not hurting my wife. ulb, is it what you think?



  • thanks xman....





    gotta go now, keep chatting guys.



  • ulb,





    okay we let u go.


    man having affair will be particularly busy.





    sorry, just kidding...



  • Ulb,


    Good on you. If both of you are happy, why not? As long as the other party understand you have a family to lookafter. You know better under what circumstances how the affair started, what each of you wanted. Important is your priority, if it is not going your way, you need to start minimize the impact on what you treasure most. Don't let sex destroy what you want to maintain.




  • thanks amyrillis,


    just one last word then.


    yes concealing in this instance is about protecting people from getting hurt... the feelings of your sl got to be respected as well....




  • "Don't let sex destroy what you want to maintain. " ... i like this line. let me note it down.




  • I would love to know what noveau_riche and craig's honest stand and whether they will get involve in an affair if happens to them!





    xman_haha,


    Never have an affair before? What stops you?



  • BlueDiamond,


    to be honest, yes or no. the relation happened really really for short time. I suppose it did not count as affair yet assuming we are not just talking having sex, affection also counts.


    It is not what stops me, it is about what starts it ? It does not, and i will not let it, happen in my workspace, there seems not much "opportunity" to me though.



  • Amyrillis,


    I detected a bit of conservative thinking in you. No emotional feelings for husband but still hesitate to have an affair. But unless meeting someone you really have love and can't resist. OK to think like that no matter how modern one can be.



  • ulb, I admire you more. You seem to be a perfect SL :)



  • I am thinking.. am I the conservative type?





    I don't know how you define it. Some people will have affair, but they don't talk about sex, can consider themself convervative in act.





    I am not conservative in the sense that, I don't guarantee that I won't have an affair. And I don't judge those who have affair. I just think we are flash & blood.





    I am conservative in the sense that, I do believe in life time committment and I strive to maintain each relationship and I treat love relationship very seriously.





    I am conservative that I only had 2 bfs in my whole life, one being my spouse.





    I am not conservative that I had had an affair while I was with my ex.



  • xman_haha,


    Yes, workplace not a good place to start one. Definitely not. Many complications, work and love get interwined and soon conflicts will replace the romance.


    At least you have one encounter, no matter how short. So you are not really resisting if you can have a beautiful affair outside workplace. If you are looking for a good one, you have to be patience. Sometimes it is fate whether you will meet one and she will like you or not. Expand your social circle, when it comes, it will come. No need to feel left out.


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