mess up

basically I messed up eveything.. was so pathetic few years back no gal interested in me because I got low pay shitty job, all hk gals are just simply money oriented, but I miss that time because I was still a good and proper guy... have gone through alot finally land an ideal job (from most people's standard at least.....) and looks much better than before (have no idea but that's the case just believe me...).. but the real nightmare followed..... seems so thirsty that I just can't satisfy what I have just like a beast living in my heart.. I became sooooooooo fcuking arrogant.....hanging out with many gals but still can't make up my mind for long term and proper relations, gave up many chances for some really cool gals, feel so empty that I addicted to some bad habbits because everything looks so hopeless... the more I do, the more lone I have, I hate myself more, than more hopeless... then met a Taiwan gal in an occassion and she's so aggressive that I am "forced" to develop a relation with her, but at the end felt so pressurized I dumped her - to be frank she's a good gal and NO ONE can understand me and support me better than her but I am not satisfied with her appreance. now flirting gals wherever I can, on the plane- the gals sit beside me, flight attendent... at the office, on the net, Korean, Taiwanese, Singaporean, Malaysian - only judged by their appearance...... now that, the more gals I flirt, the more failure I encountered, I believe that's because all my flirting target are very pretty so they should have came across of many guys of high qualities or they have a stable bf already so I am just nothing in their eye... now living in a hell, hell fire burning in my heart everyday..... self confidence left not much.... at the end, up to now at least, NO ONE CARES ABOUT ME. it's pathetic isn't it?

better stop it now buddy.

at least..now u realize..u're a loser..

it's never too late too change yourself...

...if u really want..

agree with bluegirl.

changes... defintely that's what I want, however, there's no way back. If you are gal, will you still like me? I don't think so.

u haven't met the gal u love yet..

if u love someone..u'll willing to do anything.... even change yourself..

....

If you are gal, will you still like me? I don't think so.

who cares what other gals think...

as long as...later..when your meet Ms. right , u know what to do...be nice to her..

we all have past...

we have all done something wrong..

but it's 'past'

and i believe there's 報應

so I'm 受緊my報應

i guess it's still not over yet...

basically see if you can handle my problems:

a. I don't know what's love.

b. I don't know how to distinguish sex from love, honestly nothing to hide here my sex desire is too strong which effectively distorted my view to relationships.

I am so confused.

a. I don't know what's love

(------ if u don't know what is love, u don't have to find the answer; that's because you haven't met your true love yet.

when you meet her, u'll know what is 'love'

2) bascially, it has nothing wrong with it...if

the gal is willing to have sex wtih u, why not?

if u want to be honest...then tel your sex partner... or gf, (whatever u want to call)

tell her, the truth, tell her that, u can't distinguish love and sex, so if u still want to be with a guy like me, i would be pleased...

otherwise, pass on......

I think what you need is some healthy activities that can draw your attention to somewhere else, honestly.

In terms of sex, there's really not much different between girls, it's just a bunch of flesh. In terms of Looks, it's just skin and make up that anyone can change it at beauty salon and through plastic surgery! Love is more than the skin and flesh, Love is someone who can give you confident who supports you who appreciates who you are who will always be on your side and willingness to sacrifice, and vice versa too.

You just have a young soul who doesn't understand meaning of life.