she sms him again....

yes, he done his part well coz of you. It shows he treasure you. no matter what happen occured in the past, you should forget it. Just enjoy existing life with your husband. That's most positive way you have to do. Don't worry any out of u2 control things, like her calls/sms. You jealous/queries will be a way to let them go together again...

maybe... sometimes if it didn't happen to you, it will feel must less painful. Frankly, if it happen to my friend..I will tell her: hey, he's done his part in staying away la...they only sms/talk once in a blue moon now..very rare la. your husband did improve a lot, relax la. No need to worry so much.... asking him if he is still alive means he hasn't contact her for long long time...I know I can say that to a friend...but when it happens to me...i just feel so hurt

may be, to that gal, your angry = her happy. why need to pay attention on her and let her know you do care about her?

2 year already............

iam_aman : I treasure what he's done for me, and I always remind myself of what he did for me... I know he loves me, andI know because of this, i drive him to the walls at times...I know with this incident, our relationship hit the rocks...we are lucky that we are still together ....I just need to know how to be less 2 sum chung, trust him more...just concentrate on us...eventhough she still 'appears"...

佢太得意忘形啊！

我覺得係要正視,太耐啦！傷彼此太多

可不來過痛快！

係妳既此終都係妳既, 唔係妳既又為何要強求呢. 難道這個小考驗就考起妳嗎?

hai ah...2 yrs already, that's why I feel very uncomfortable. Painful because of the fact that I still "remember" and "care" so much....

iam_aman : u are right too. My hurt= her happiness.... no win win situation here. Apparently myhusband didn't win either... trapped with a "2 sum chung" wife, I'm sure he feels like hell sometimes too

iam_aman : 小考驗 , only if I can see her as a 小考驗. I am a very strong person in the past.. never cried a tear... after marrying him, I always cry because of this incident...WHen I was stuck abroad with him during this incident, I feel very depressed.... I gave up my job/life to be with him, just to find out this incident on the 2nd day of my arrival...

what you think you will lose to her? To be a man, I know what kind of woman good to be a wife, I believe ur husband know it well. Don't worry la. Don't make urself lost of 競爭能力.

強求 <-- iam_aman , are you married yourself?

mabelle

我的作風較激一點,但我也是磨到而作才作此一扙~妳可作調整,用較易接受方法,但不容再托,傷更深,當然有點後遺症,但明快多一點,假若他真愛自己他亦會從當中作出改變！

maybe: 係要正視,太耐啦！傷彼此太多 <-- hurt= hurt joh. what happened in the past can't be discussed again now..coz like Man says: it's over, husband is doing the right thing..avoiding her already. just irregular sms sometimes.... 可不來過痛快！<--what I get in return is a very angry husband, saying I don't trust him then why marry him....end up quarreling about the same subject over n over again without ending.... I dont' want that...

iam_aman

笑！你說得太易...

用針拮吓你自己就知好味又野味！

iam_aman : 競爭能力 . I have a good job, aside from my job, i've taken over his business. I try to please his family.. I try to please him.... I try to keep myself looking good, and I think he likes it when ppl tell him his wife looks good.... what other things can I do to make him love me more? He says : he loves me the same from yrs back till now. Won't love more or love less, coz he already love me the most.... does that make sense to u?

mabelle

真實回應他及她！

強求 <-- iam_aman , are you married yourself?

by mabelle - 02/24/07 05:06

You are not 強求 la. you fell in love with ur husband ga mah. you 2 love each other. not 強求 la. marriage is work out by you 2.

真實回應他及她！< -- dont' understand

married for 1 yr, still feel I dont' know how to handle marraige.. feel like a fresh graduate just got my first job. Donno what's happening, and not in control . Feel frustrated sometimes, happy sometimes. U know, like a roller coaster ride... up n down n down n up... haha, that's why I ask if u are married yourself.

........

mabelle ....放鬆d he still sleep with you every day~

慢慢嚟~開心d~

實有較好方法！take it easy~

I lost at least 10 pounds since that incident... I'm originally quite skinny already, now I'm around 90 pounds...try eating lots, but still not gaining any weight... feel very pressured. I know he sleeps with me everyday, I appreciate him working hard to make money. I appreciate him buying me flowers, taking me to dinner/buy me gifts...I appreciate it very much.. just need to learn 放鬆d ,開心d and take it easy.. Do you think going to a psychologist would help?

mabelle, your man want u get back the confident as past from his words. it means he senses ur feeling well, want you recover quickly. Pls don't quarrel with him on this case anymore, otherwise, it hurts the relationship. might lost him finally. Becoz men don't like to stay with untrustful, trouble, alway quarrel woman.

Be smart on it. Do ur own job well. That's what you have to do between u 2.

ZzzzZzzzz very tired. Ho la, really go to sleep. Thanks heaps to u both. Sweet dreams !

mabelle

sorry~

真的太攰~或者明天覆您啦！

將感受好好跟丈夫說，不用怕,他愛你才跟你一起,此終會感受你所感,但你必需真真正正與他認認真真吐心結,整件事他是最関建的人！

mabelle,

I just can't understand why you married your husband in the first place cos it seems to me that you have never trusted him again after you first found out the chat etc with this sexy thing

wife: because I love him. I wanted to give us a chance...

wife: but u are right, deep down inside, I know I havent trusted him again after that incident...

From what you said I think your husband has tried his very best. He is not initiating any contact and what else do you expect from him?

Will you be happier if he tells you every time this woman has contact with him and what is it about? You think you can feel secure and safe?

Come on, even if your husband changes his mobile number, with so many common friends, she sure can get his new number without problem.

Just let it be. Keep thinking about it or drilling the cow horn won't give you happiness and secure feelings.

Forget this woman whom your husband is not interested. As long as you know he is not interested, then you should be happy and feel safe. No one can stop the woman contacting your husband except the woman herself.

Trust your husband. He sounds faithful since he has you as his wife.

that's why i say it's a "sum git". (a knot in the heart). I don't want to bring this up with him anymore....and i dont' know who to talk to about this anymore...coz "it" happened so long ago..and now he's doing his best... just that this lady keeps on "harassing me"... that's it... I know he's good...wife, I truly know...I want to get over it too. I just don't know how.

no matter marry or not, this case might occur ga la. See how to handle it je...

90lbs? What's ur height? Don't worry too much la, ur husband still love you, still spend much time to care you. You should enjoy the moment with him instead of how to kick that woman away.

and well, like I said, 100% no contact would be a good start. and no, I would feel angry if he tells me she called. (coz she called) so yeah, i understand why he won't tell me at the first point..just don't understand why he would still answer her sms when she ask how he is...only out of politeness/pure friendship? I dont' know.

One thing. The situation is very similar to a friend that I knew.

~My friend, lets call him Andy, he has a girlfriend and he met this woman (online but then who is not on line chatting with others) who thought she was very pretty and "sok". Wanted to have sex with Andy but he declined. She was not happy at all. It has been some 4 years now. They haven't met for more than 2 years. This lady keeps contacting Andy and asks him out. Of course Andy never bothers to reply or meet her again.

The lady knows of his gf existence yet keeps on hinting wanted sex with him. There are many women who think they are pretty and attractive and can't understand why not all men find them as their cup of tea or want to have sex with them. Until they can get all those men, they will just keep contacting them.

Just trust your man and you will be fine.

iam_aman : around 5 feet 3" not tall at all, but absolutely too thin. (everyone keeps reminding me, so I know. haha)

mabelle,

i hear you! i totally understand you. i have a very similar case like you. except mine has been 3 years! and i have separated with my husband a year ago. cry...cry...i am going through pscho therapy now. it hurts so much!!!

my feelings are still very strong. i hate the woman in guts. i curse her everyday! she has a husband too.

i would love to talk to you more...but i'm at work now...can't talk.

wife: interesting case...gives me some insight... never thought of it that way! but hey, Mr. Andy never bothered to reply or meet her. my husband still replies sometimes. well, but situation is diff, husband and her were friends back in uni... Andy and Miss Sok here are net friends

Jan: so sorry to hear about that. I dont' suppose your husband ended up with her at the end? See? that's why I ask if going to psycotherapy would work for me..coz sometimes I don't know who to talk to, and sometimes I feel I'm crazy.

Andy and Sok met when those chatrooms still existed.

His gf knew the existence of this woman too but didnt' really bother (actually Andy has broken up with his gf now). They met twice but that was as said, more than 2 years ago. During their first encounter, the Sok already expressed her wish. The 2nd time, she made it even clearer by refusing to get out of the car.

I don't curse her though.. I wish her well, I wish her that a single man would appear at her doorstep one day, and that they will fall in love, treat each other well, get married, have their own family...then maybe she will be busy with her life and stop bothering my family. haha so Ah Q

hahahahaha, damn, this Miss Sok is so funny. haha, i can't imagine what Andy felt like when she refused to get out of the car just because Andy refused to take advantage of her. hahahaha...Wife, u made me laugh, dont' I love you or what!!

Anyway after those 2 encounters, they only got in touch with emails. Sok sends him personally emails occasionally asking to meet. Andy sometimes reply if what Sok says about her current status attracts his attention.

But that's only up to email. Nothing more. And when Andy lost his phone, he didn't give his new number to her either.

This Sok will send special greetings at special days like New Year, Christmas, his birthday etc. Also says things like I miss you, shall we have lunch together, etc.

mabelle -

4 個人妳自己,wife 我, iam_aman

冇人知道他想甚麼,為何還有联絡(我意思係帶有曖昧的感覺),但首先你要振作一點,太大壓力比自己,同樣會給他好大壓力,這樣這女子，或其他不知撓是誰的人，成虛而入的機會更大，然而或者他的作風是難君子吧！！

放鬆一點沉著迎戰,先安好自身！

Eat more with happiness could gain meat. Don't be skeleton. hehe

Treat her calls/sms as junk advertisement. Coz without reply, it will not effective.

Andy told Sok if she didn't get out, he would. So he got out and she got out afterwards.

iam_aman : I dont know what my intention is anymore. 1) I know I can't kick that woman away 2) I know my husband dont' want to be so "juet" and ignore all her calls/sms 3) I just want to be happy and get over and done with this situation

mabelle,

As said, there are plenty of women who think they are extremely attractive and men should want to take advantage of them when offer. So those who don't wish to will make themselves a challenge to those ladies.

This woman your husband is trying his best to ignore can be one of these women. There is no way to stop her contacting your husband.

So instead of thinking silly, just trust him. Release yourself and be happy. If your husband is going to cheat on you, there is again, nothing you can do.

I know I am sick.Sick in the mind or just plain scared. 安好自身 I am trying...eating heaps, though still not effective and sometimes still hate to eat...I still try try la. God knows why he still reply her....but hope it's becoz 他的作風是難君子

wife: I know there's nothing I can do if he chooses to cheat. That's why it's so so so scary. Totally out of my grip, ho geng. I know what u mean...those hungry ladies think it's unreasonable why any men would turn them down ma.. i understand. i dont' hate them..I pity them because they must feel very insecure too... but I pity myself more, because I am still in the deep hole, like u described earlier on as "drilling inside the cows' horn"

Yes, will never know why your husband still replies but you can't be sure, right? You couldn't find the sms he sent her.

So please, take care of yourself first.

relax d la. maybe you should also try knowing more male friends ... life is short ... bottomline, love yourself, enjoy your life.

You scare of losing your husband? That means you love him much.

You know what? Thinking silly will just damage your relationship with your husband. You think silly, you can't trust him, you are not happy. This will make you moody.

All these will be showing without you noticing. But he will.