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  • new thread la`~~





    morning everyone



  • ay...bad mood today..



  • hey. long time no seen, bluegirl





    whats wrong?



  • I am also not happy recently,


    bluegirl, why not happy ?



  • why bad mood ar? want to share?



  • I am not happy. because just break up relationship. I don't know what she think. Change suddenly and love gone quickly..


    Force me to leave her. I love her so much.



  • hi all





    pleasure dog





    i'm facing exactly the same suitation..








    but it's been half year already...





    sorry, no msn at work.










  • hi bluegirl,





    oh you opened a new thread!





    hm... seems like everyone's having bad mood lately. Me too... what a new year... :(



  • bluegirl and pleasure dog,





    forget about your other half. sometimes you have to let go. maybe this is fate...





    tell u what... my in-laws drove me crazy again, and this time, they surely crossed the bottomline and so i'm not going back anymore. and i feel so helpless now... their good son (i.e. my husband) just doesnt understand. they hurt my feelings... :(



  • what do they do?





    but sometimes, u think it this way...





    just like, your parent....i' m sure they have done something maybe not making any sense to u...but still, u wouldn't hate them becoz they're your parents, part of the family.





    and now same thing happen...





    think this way, they're your family.


    his parents are your parents.





    u have to forgive them the way u forgive your parents





    remember , this kind of thing happen to EVERY family, i believe.







  • bluegirl,





    yes my parents are annoying. but they're much worse. and i've been trying hard and tolerating them before. but last Saturday, when i went back to have dinner with them as usual (sigh... every Saturday... no life) that 'din lo yeah' suddenly scolded me, and it's in front of his son this time. u know before, they did that when their son's not there. so now, they're stepping on me and dont even 'pretend' to be nice...





    i felt so shocked and that nite, i couldnt even finish that small bowl of rice and had headache too. i just felt too much pressure. besides, their son didnt say anything when they scolded me during and after dinner... and i couldnt ask them to shut up when they were so unreasonable to me...



  • hi, bluegirl





    oh, this is ur new thread,


    Happy New Year to u sin! haha



  • hi owen





    happy new year too...








    SS








    for no reason???


    there must be something...they couldn't blame for no reason..


    maybe it's something happen b4...not at that night...





    his son didn't say anything...ok...then what about, after dinner?


    when u guys got home?



  • bluegirl,





    yes they blamed me for a reason. but they're just unreasonable.





    1. they blamed me for not being able to get the driving license only after i got the green card for a few weeks.





    2. they said that i should be learning to drive from the instructor already. but i already told them i've to check which one is better. and we were doing renovation for the house during xmas. they knew that already.





    2. they blamed me for not learning to drive--> not able to find a job yet. WAIT! i also wanna find a job. i know what they've been thinking--- i'm using their son's $. thats why once i go here, they immediately pushed me to do this and that (they wanted me to learn to drive once i got here even i knew nothing about the traffic ga... luckily the DMV said that i can't do that yet)





    3. they blamed me for not staying overnite at their damn house during long holidays!





    See? thats not even their business!!!! besides, i'm their son's wife, so even i'm using his money for now, it's natural. besides i brought over my own $ too! and also, there's no such a rule that i've to stay overnite during long holidays. i know they always think that i'm the one who changed the habit-- their beloved son used to stay overnite at their house every weekend before. but i couldnt stand it...





    and this time, they're very rude, impolite and unreasonable. i dont want to go back and act like i'm ok with them anymore. and their son... he just asked me to ignore them... that means he still wants me to go back. no way... he can go back himself but not me. i've had enough of their bullshxt.



  • i told some of my good friends in HK... they all suggested me to stay away from them. they said that i treat his parents better, they'll treat me worse. cuz they will think that i'm so nice and naive. shxt i'm not stupid! i just wanted to respect them and so i go back for dinner every weekend. but the result is... they are never satisfied. and u know, we're the only one who's been going to thier house every single weekend, and they still complain??!!! what the fuxk!





    besides, they really involve toooooooooo much into our married life....... thats why i feel so upset about my husband too. and so the best way is to avoid them.



  • honestly...





    i think it also has something to do with the son/husband.





    i always think that....it's the son/husband 'ng sik joe' so that leads to such bad relationship..







  • yes... thats what i thnk too. and thats why i feel especially upset this time. u know his parents think that their son's on their side. and i feel that after that time, they'll act even worse. cuz they know that their son won't oppose to whatever they do to me.





    u know they also treat my sis-in-law's husband very bad. but then they dont always go back and my sis-in-law helped her husband answer their stupid questions. and they just dont pick up their calls so to signal them not to involve too much in their lives. now they dare not to bother them as much. but my husband... they pick up their every neverending call even though we're cooking or eating dinner (they always call at this time.. chi sin). so now it's like he's encouraging them to do this... i mean if we're busy, why dont we just let them leave a voice mail? after all, they just call to check on us every day.





    so... if this continues, i do think that it'll ruin our relationship...



  • it's ok, don't expect his (your husband) help.





    i told u, guys are stupid on these things.


    they all want to step out of it.





    so , no problem. just leave him alone.





    u , on the other hand,


    don't go there anymore.





    your husband shouldnt' say a word to u. or force u to go there.


    if he's not helping u out, then, u too, no need to care what he feels or afriad of him 'ho nan joe'







  • yes you're right. i've been thinking and asking friends what to do. they all asked me not to go there anymore. cuz it wont help the relationship between us. and his parents dont appreciate my respect to them anyways. besides my husband won't help. so i better leave them alone. this way at least i'll feel better.



  • so now..u have your life back!!








    yea.....not bad...hahaha...







  • so now..u have your life back!!








    yea.....not bad...hahaha...







  • SS,





    I am also a married person. My in-laws are not as terrible as yours. They also call their son, my husband during dinner time and never willing to hang up. My relationship with my in-laws is to keep a distance with them.





    No matter how good you are, you are not their daughter. It is hard for you or them to live in a harmony environment. I found that the more time I am with them, our relationship would not be improving.





    So my advice is to keep the distance with them



  • thanks baby_a.





    yes thats what everyone told me too. u know, i actually never wanted to spend so much time with them. but my husband wants me to go... he always thinks that his parents are so nice and they'd never do anything mean to me. but what he doesnt know is that his parents are not silly. they just dont show it in front of him, well until last Saturday. but still... my husband thinks that this can be somewhat solved. sigh...





    but anyways, this time they went too far. they even said 'i really don't know what you're doing'... of course the tone is very bad...







  • so now... whatever my husband says, i wont be convinced. he can't do this to me anymore... he can go back by himself but not me.



  • I totally feel what you said. I think my situation is pretty similar to you. Honestly, husband won't think that his parents are wrong or not nice. Because he uses to live with them since he is born. At the same time, it is hard for you to tell your husband that the true things about his parents. For me, I just shut up, not say anything.





    When my in-laws come over our place & living here for a mth, it's my suffering period.



  • BTW, I am not living in US, I am living in Sydney, Australia. My in-laws live in Canberra, which is 3hrs drive distance.




  • baby_a,





    3-hr distance is good! we live about an hour away from in-laws but still we have to go back there every Saturday. :(





    u know what, i just told my husband on yahoo AGAIN that i'm not going back as this cant help anything. they just hate me. i really dont know why he still wants to put me on the spot by asking me to go back.



  • last time when my in-laws came over to live with us. That was my 99 came down for a 1day operation. Well, my 99 is a person really "loves face" & love to show off that her children are very 孝順. Of course, my husband would take days off to take her to the clinic for a day operation. His brother also took a day off too. She also ashed her eldest daughter to come along with her too. At the end, my husband, his brother & sister & my father-in-law all went to the clinic for her.





    After the operation, my husband told me that my 99 thought I would take day off to go with them. Oh gee, how can she think in this way. You already have 4 people to go with you for a day surgery. It won't help anything that I also came along with them. Luckily, my husband understood that I won't take day off



  • BTW, is it hard to find a job in US? We are moving to US in March/April. My husband got a exchange job in Houston starting on 1 April, I will be on my spouse visa (J2 visa). I am allowed to work but I need to apply for a work permit, to obtain Employment Authorisation Document. is it hard to apply for EAD?



  • baby_a,





    yes yes... my 99 is the same! she also likes to boast around how good their children are. so now we're not staying overnite every weekend, i know she's very angry with me.





    about finding a job, i guess it depends on where you live and what your profession is. actually i'm not here for long and i just got my green card and EAD not long ago. but i'll learn to drive 1st. but i just wanna tell you that applying for EAD is not difficult. but i wanna remind you that if you havent got your EAD after 3 months, you've to schedule an appointment with the USCIS, otherwise they'll just leave your case on the desk!



  • wow... i didnt notice i used so many 'but'!





    well it's cuz i'm sort of chatting with my husband on yahoo. and i feel so bad when talking about this... :(





    their involvement does affect our relationship. at least my impression to my husband...



  • Oh SS, probably you can help me on applying EAD. For driving, I will get an int'l driving license



  • baby_a,





    yes i think it's better for you cuz you'll have to drive in OZ anyways.





    for the EAD, actually there's a website which is very useful and you can follow the guidelines and d/l forms there too.





    www.visajourney.com



  • Thanks a lot, SS. Hey, i need to get back to work. ttyl



  • oh ok ttyl!




  • ...





    u know, first i thought the new guy's parents are living in hk...once come back visit once a year...staying for like 2-3 months..





    i thought that's good...so i'm thinking..if i date this guy..at least, i don't have to face his parents





    but then...just last week, i found out, his mom is thinking to come back here...





    ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh








    his mom wants to come back and live with him.








    damn...





    ......





    i



  • oh no... but think this way... not all parents are so mean. there're some who're really nice too.





    and u know what... i told one of my good friends in HK, he said that i'm the poorest married friend he has had... sigh... cuz he said that i'm here alone in the US, have to adapt to and start a new life, then no one supports me, and i have such bin tai in-laws... :(



  • ...sigh...





    actually...i don't know about his parents..





    i only met his mom once..when she was here last month...








    so i dunno yet...





    but i guess...if she wants so badly to see his son, probably he won't be too easy to get along with...










  • well... maybe you're rite...





    it's like my husband's parents. but i havent thought that things can be this bad.... now i keep thinking back and i feel like i was sooooooo good at tolerating them. u know i've been their 'spot of interest' for months. they talked about me basically every week! i feel like i'm an idiot now... besides their son never helped or said anything... this makes me feel worse.



  • when u're in love u din't see anything..





    sigh....it's ok





    just don't go anymore la...keep a distance...








    i need to go la...chat with u later la...





    take care



  • ok take care too!


    ttyl!



  • SS, how old are you really? and which state are you at?





    how come it takes so long for you to find a good driving instructor? is it because you don't know where to look online? You can try citysearch.com, they got tons of rating and such. Once you have classes from an instructor, it wouldn't take long before you can get your driving licence. It's really easy peasy. It normally takes about less than a month to pass the exams.








    And also, if you have SS# already, you can easily go online and register with my job agencies, they will hook you up with temp jobs in the meantime and from there you can gain some work experience to find a permanent job PLUS some wages.





    Seriously, it is really NOT that hard if you put your mind to it.



  • baby_a





    International licence can only be used for certain period of time, eventually the state law will require you to get the state licence. You really need to look online to check the regulations. Obviously different states have different laws. But I assume international driving licence is only good for a few months!



  • i got a shxt new yr. i wish i never and never met her before



  • passerby,





    i know there're websites for driving instructors. it's my friend's learning to drive here and i know if hers instructor is good 1st. besides, i just passed the written test for a few weeks and i had to renovate our house during Christmas holiday. so thats the reason. i just dont know why every one thinks that i'm wasting my time while i've been doing sth else.





    for the job hunting, i'm not sure if you work for a job agency... it's just my profession in HK hinders my choice here. but after being able to drive around, i'll try to find a job... even a part-time job is fine. so do you have any websites that you can suggest?







  • typo: it's just my friend's learning to drive here and so i wanna know if her instructor is good.





    sorry for that.



  • passerby,





    Yes, I know that int'l driving license is only allowed for few mths. But at least when I come over to US in few mths time, I can drive around & learn the environment.





    For me, I don't think I will have SS#. I need to apply for EAD first then to apply for SS#. I heard that it would take around 90-day to process for EAD. In the meantime, I think I will try to get a volunteer job at non-profit organisation to gain the local experience.





    Hey, I am working as marketing. Is it hard to find a job? I already told myself for the first 6mths in US, I need time to settle. So if i can get a job within 6mths time, it is a bonus!!



  • morning...








    almost lost this thread...forget to bookmark...hahahaha...



  • here are bunches of 88888, fxxking bored 88888...P!