跟一個男人十年多,出街不會拖手,更從沒有sex,但常常見面,如拍拖般. 他是個老實人,待我很好,當正我是女友. 可是,成四十歲人,他從沒有打算將來,沒有主見,什麼都問我,由我話是. 佢比我做決定所有野,包括我�]�黿N來. 跟他一起好有壓迫感好唔開心. 大家咁耐,想分開又好似有點情義. 咁我應該跟他分開, 還是結婚從新生活?





  • 他從沒有打算將來.........will he change for you? if not i think better leave him.



  • why u think he treat u as his gf ?


    no holding hands, no kiss , no sex at all in 10yrs .


    he may probably treat u as his soulmate, not gf.




  • 我有個朋友同你一樣, 但個男人係想同佢結婚, 不過大家無sex無拖手少出街, 好似家人咁, 十幾年後, 我朋友背住男友識左第二個, 跟住分埋手, 依家同新果個結左婚.





    其實反正大家意向唔同, 何必再拖? 因為十年而再浪費三十年?



  • 我叫佢做,當時他便去做,他會答好. 不然他便原地踏步. 之後又當冇左件事. 激死! 我常要勞氣叫佢做這做那,他才會去做.



  • yes !



  • how o ?u



  • i asked him whether he wanted to get marry with me. he said yes but no further action.





    he wanted to have sex with me, but i couldn't as i have no boyfriend feeling on him.





    you know my feeling ........ :(((((((((



  • mid-30. all i wanted is to have a man who can lead me instead. he is very good to me (to fulfill my request physically) but he is not the one.



  • 咁你咪同做佢亞媽無分別?



  • exactly!



  • 咁你想唔想咁樣一世?



  • if u dont want to have sex with him, how can u have your own kid?



  • kk,





    of course not. 我想過離開,但又做唔出. 點算?



  • 其實你係米想 "老來有個伴"就ok 果d人? 你同佢係點開始的 ? 朋友、同學定同事 ?



  • 我就是一個"想結婚生仔的女人". 點開始已不重要, 最重要還是我們怎結局.



  • 一世湊唔長大既仔


    有機會遇到一個會結婚生仔既男人(但都要作最壞打算會單獨一世)





    你睇吓邊樣令你開心/唔開心多d?





    我自己好理智, 因為我以前試過唔甘心唔願放手念舊而行咗一條依家超難行既路. 所以我依家唔會教人"守得雲開見月明".


    唔啱就走, 離開佢難定要為難自己難? 不過我唔敢保證你離開佢之後會遇到另一個合適的. 路係自己揀, 覺得舒服既就勇往直前, 有猶豫既即係你無bargaining power, 唯有侷住留低.


    呢個世界無做唔到既野, 只在乎你做定唔做.



  • 而行�髐@條依家超難行既路. ....... can we share your difficult path?



  • 時�V再拖下去,怕就快連仔都生唔出!



  • 拍拖結婚離婚十幾年時間, 依家自己帶細路.


    當初我真係因為唔捨得唔甘心念舊而繼續, 點知換黎一而再既傷害囉. 事過境遷, 打死無怨. 但身心靈錢都好疲累. 所以我依家唔會輕易言愛.



  • 如果版主係可以堅定主意,自已知自己做梗什麼,就唔會拖拖拉拉成10年啦 ! 呢10年時間對於一個女人來說係最黃金時期,版主都可以同呢個男人金拖拉落去,我捻佢都唔介意再來多10年去捻呢個問題 !



  • 因為十年而再浪費三十年?





    by kk - 11/10/06 15:30





    甚至40,50年?



  • kk:


    相信版主都係呢類人,由得佢地發夢吧 ! 老土d講句,幸福係要自己爭取 ! 局外人同佢講什麼都冇用 !



  • 情義?





    does he do his part?



  • i think you should tell him frankly that you couldn't marry him if he keep on like this and without any improvement





    you & him will just be friends if he is the same old him





    but on the other side, i think you should ask yourself, why you stay with him?





    1) just because you don't have other choice?





    2) you feels good and comfortable when you're with him, i remember once read something in the junk mails:


    you stay with a person not only because you like that person, also you like yourself being with him





    3) just because you don't want to change, afraid that you couldn't find another guy?





    4) could you take him as your husband?


    could you accept the image that he is the father of your children?





    is he handsome? remember, DNA is very important


    if you want smart children, look for a smarter guy, but do the smarter guy want you to be his wife?


    don't forget, when you choose others, also vise versa







  • 算啦


    到版主呢個年紀, 加上十幾年感情, 加上佢自己對結婚生仔既隱憂. 佢份猶豫絕對可以理解.



  • 其實版主自已都好矛盾,lee個男人會同佢結婚,但又唔識照顧版主。女人想結婚都係想有care and照顧自已啫!



  • he may have sex disability....


    find another guy if possible, treat him as anything you like. Check his sex ability if you can before thinking marry to him.




  • 其實想結婚都要睇對像係咪適合。如果對方在自已眼中、心目中有缺點(如版主的男人總係要版主揸主意),但自已接受、承受得到婚後永遠都係咁就無所謂。我覺得lee個唔係版主嘅理想對像,不如版主試吓識吓其他男人,睇吓有無更好嘅男人吖!(不過要瞞住個男人)



  • Dear All,





    Frankly, i wanted to change (away from him) for long time, but i am afraid i couldnt find another one.





    He tried to have sex with me, but he failed at last. Since then, i am no longer interested to do it with him and he couldn't prove he can. Possible that he has sex disability.





    The most important, not sure if he is lazy or unable to change his passivenss. He wanted to get marry but he never said so or take any action at his initiative.







  • 您好,我係女仔,個案同您相似,可否email我詳談?


    chpa0811@yahoo.com.hk



  • He would have sex, get marry, or anything i asked him to. like giving him instructions to do this and that. but i insisted i can not say so. I insisted to reserve him his dignity. But I also know, nothing will happen if i don't say so. We'll be quiet and dark face to each other as usual.



  • I know its a waste of time for both of us. What should i do? What should i do? I am afraid ... afraid to make the wrong choice!



  • I think, he properly ...has sex disability..


    Every men like ml, like touch women, no matter they are teenagers or over 60.


    This disability, to men, as if they lost their dignity the men should hv in their mind.





    Some cases properly can be cured(I think you must checked for this already..) but ... in your case, you has been staying with him over 10 years, so he was 30sth when u both met? I think.. you can guess... if he was already in such disability status when he was still 30+?





    maybe.. he has a " -ve shadow" when he was a child...? so cause his disability?





    You know, already 10+ years, you want to know the fact right before considing if he can ml and make baby together as you mentioned you want to be a 一個想結婚生仔的女人(me too).



  • His disability surely causes him to become passive and lose his confidence.


    Sex is very important and essential part to man and wife. you know this, he knows this too. well... 男人就係鐘意拖得就拖, 逃避到就逃住先, 你先搞清楚件事先.. 如果係醫到的case 的話, 都須要女方的極力支持, 慢慢勸佢(he is in the 男人最弱的時侯, 一係發爛, 一係杉ku. 曬出女人的温柔吧!



  • He would never change, at least he didn't for last 10 years. What should i do then? Ask him to get marriage and sex with me?


    Go to the dr with him to find out the truth?





    Frankly, i m very tired with him for these sufferings. I just can't make my one step out and leave him, as he's kind heart and good to me.



  • 我的情況同你一樣, 但我地到現到只係二年, 最奇怪就係佢每日都打幾次電話! 出街會送返屋企, 但總是和你一樣不會拖手! 男人點解係咁? 冇理過女人感受!!!



  • 個男仔係咪太怕羞?



  • 版主:





    如果你想去改變,早幾年你已經可以去變,但你既然選擇留守,你就要加把勁去表達、去爭取,男人到30、40歲重有好多選擇,女人到35+,已經冇得點選,如果你重係猶豫不決,你手頭上連小小籌碼都冇 !


    重有,如果個男人係 "唔得" 你就算同佢結了婚,亦未必可以做到 "一個想結婚生仔的女人",極其量只可以做到"一個結了婚的女人"....



  • 版主其實你個男朋友係唔係經濟能力有問題?





    我個個係, 佢搵得唔得, 所以出街食飯我都唔敢同去d 貴既地方, 我生日佢問我想去邊到食, 但我真係唔想佢洗錢, 我就話我未試過係同麥當奴叔叔慶祝生日, 所以我就話去食麥當奴! 平時食飯..佢比兩次.我都會比一次!




  • 算啦,





    你說得對, 我手頭上快連小小籌碼都冇! 但你認為我應否同佢去體醫生,找出答案? 有什麼決絕的做法離開佢?





    同你一樣的女人,


    佢財政冇問題,但他不是富有.但可惜他從不儲錢. 幾年前問他結婚要錢嗎,他答我佢只有幾萬蚊.夠擺酒.至於之後生活,住邊..佢答我同佢家人住,或幾千蚊租�V屋仔住著先.遲�囓�算! 到今天,佢仍舊乜都冇做過. 問佢點解,佢答我因我之後冇再提喎!




  • 佢就是這樣,推一推, 便答�鴽A. 唔問佢,佢扮冇野,失憶. 我真係好��,冇興趣再同佢傾.



  • 版主





    我諗你真係要好好諗下





    或者你好似同我一樣等緊佢會做一d 野, 但你等佐十年都仍舊一樣



  • 版主:





    如果你同佢繼續落去,你唔單止一個籌碼都冇,直頭負資產啦 !


    你唔後生, (後生時的青春,最黃金果10年已經追唔返),何不拿著你餘下的籌碼,去搏一搏,如果唔係,我真係睇唔到你以後有什麼前景 !


    當然,唔係叫你是但找一個水泡,但總好過每月 "供死會",供出去的 "籌碼"又不回來 !


    醒下啦 ! 試下放開自已,去認識多d人,擴大社交圈子,返下教會,去下clubbing,多d舊同學聚會都俾起依家好 !


    認真d啦,如果唔係,你只會繼續....年復年...你的青春小鳥一去不回來 (歌都有得唱啦)



  • 算啦,





    即係我唔應該算啦! 我要的起心肝,賭一賭我餘下�鴭R運. 祝我好運.



  • god bless u





    既然你選擇留低,就要積極d,加多2錢肉緊,同佢去睇醫生,結婚用錢可多可少,但以後的財政先最緊要,祝你好運 !



  • Life is life, sometimes will feel boring.


    It doesn't matter, if want to chat or go out for


    a coffee. Please leave me your contact


    at kevinlyn@netvigator.com


    Cheers!



  • want to get married woman


    the only reason you keep him is because you are afraid that u cant find a better guy then him, is that correct?


    can you put up with him for the rest of your life?


    if i am a woman i would left him long long time ago, sorry for being harsh







  • 一個想結婚生仔的女人,





    I have the similar situation as you. I with that guy since 23 yrs old...we will not hand-in hand, no sex, but will meet each other twice a week... just like dating..... this abnormal situation last for 6 yrs.. and I can't bear anymore... I meet another guy and get married this year ( I am 30 yrs old now )


    I hope you can make a wise decision.. If you think the guy is not "your cup of tea"...STOP this abnormal relationship and find another guy for your future.....Good luck !!!!




  • Thanks all of you.





    Frankly, I knew the answer for long, so its my fault of in-decision to quit.





    算啦, are u still around?