Days After You Left

I have been expecting that day since we first met. I am not a Pessimist but i knew the day will come; sooner or later because you have every right to live a better life than be with me. The days we were together will never be forgotten, it was you who made me realized what love stands for. Now that you have gone,a part of me has vanished with you too. I had no say to your decision but to silently accept it. Maybe I could complain a little, or perhaps even moan for a while in lonely nights, but bothing will ever change your mind because you won't know it.

More of less twelve months has lapsed since the day you left. I can no longer bear with talking to myself, sharing the ups and downs with myself, I want to share it with you! There is no way I can do that because you wanted nothing to do with me, you have expunged me from your circle of life, The only way I can once again share my feelings with you is by writing to myself here.....

I am not going to use my nick or my alias in order to save you from any possible embarrassment. Please be assured that your benefit is my FIRST priority

And I shall start from the Day you left!

are you waiting for someone?

What is love stand for?

hello! i am a girl, i like your words!

mind to add me for chat?

放下方得自在.......

The Day You Left

Autumn turning to winter

Bright sun, cloudless day

No sign of Rain

No sign of Pain

An ordinary day

A wakening child, content to lie sleepily in expectation.

A feeling of "rightness"

A completed family

Unaware of the ending of things,

Torn asunder by sudden circumstance

And your senseless loss.

The day you left,

Tore us apart,

Leaving behind pain and sorrow,

Loneliness & guilt,

confusion and emptiness.

How Unfair!

That you leave so soon,

Taking with you the beauty of your life.

And yet ...

Something still remains.

Could it be, that the beauty

Of a life remembered,

Of a life full of love

Bears the gift of love

Even within our loss?

And so,

Heart surrendered

I will forever remember

Not just the day you left,

But the day you came.

so touching..

as you're so lonely, may we ml then?

[email protected]

I have same feeling as you. I wanna talk and share with my ex-, but it is no longer for me to share with her, since she always has someone richer than me. I want to find someone to talk to. May you don't mind, you may add me

[email protected]

Memories light the corners of my mind

Misty water-colored memories

of the way we were

Scattered pictures of the smiles we left behind

Smiles we gave to one another for the way we were

Can it be that it was all so simple then

Or has time rewritten every line

If we had the chance to do it all again

Tell me, would we, could we

Memories may be beautiful and yet

What’s too painful to remember

We simply choose to forget

So it’s the laughter we will remember

Whenever we remember the way we were

The way we were

快d開始啦

My dear, the weather has turned freezing cold this week; very much like the day when you told me that you are having an emotional shock last year. I didn’t realize what you were talking about at the time, but it didn’t take long before you showed me what it is. From that day on, our dialogue gradually became shorter and shorter each time when we logged onto MSN. Regardless of what I said, no matter how saddened I expressed, or even how hard I pledged you to lighten up a bit, your replies were always in plain and simple words; Yes; No; Maybe, Whatever; that is when you do bother to answer me at all. My dear, I did tried my best, I have exhausted all my tricks which used to work even on the dead. I did sense the pain in you, yes I really did, and all the tears you saw on me were not because of you but for you. If only an old man’s tear could lead you out of your darkness, I shall have no hesitation to drown my keyboard. Unfortunately, I guess what you need at the time is a pair of gentle arms rather than my stupid tears. With me being miles away, what more can I do, other than to accept my tears is simply not enough to wash away your worries and troubles. Now all that is history, fact became fact, don’t be silly, I didn’t blame you nor do I hate you because I should be grateful of your forgiveness on my insufficiency.

While I was in the bus this morning, the radio station was playing an old song by Michael Jackson, its called Ben. The lyrics reminded me how we used to be; Soul mate. To save you promise searching, here is the song

Ben, the two of us need look no more

We've both found what we were looking for

With a friend to call my own

I'll never be alone

And you, my friend will see

You've got a friend in me.

Ben, you're always running here and there

You feel you're not wanted anywhere

If you ever look behind

And don't like what you find

There's something you should know

You've got a place to go

I used to say "I and me" now it's "us" now it's "we".

Ben, most people would turn you away

I don't listen to a word they say

They don't see you as I do

I wish they would try to

I'm sure they'd think again

If they had a friend like Ben.

i have a girlfriend for many years...now she want to find her wishes and stay in overseas.....now my heart is frozen....become black in my mind.....it is so painful to accept her decision. but i need to study how to handle my emotion.

i have a girlfriend for many years...now she want to find her wishes and stay in overseas.....now my heart is frozen....become black in my mind.....it is so painful to accept her decision. but i need to study how to handle my emotion.

i was very amazed the first time when i heard of Ben, MJ's voice was so amazing.

Accepting that you were gone has never been easy, yet it is even harder to untie each and every tie we have worked so hard to built-up. You often suggest that I like to use parables to describe certain things. Well, I will say breaking our ties is rather like untying ropes of a docked ship, each loosen rope is a step closer to free the ship from dock. Once the last tie has loosened, the ship will drift away for good, just the same way as how you have disappeared from my life. I started the painful process by deleting all our emails because you on longer write to me. When I found that is endurable, I then cancelled my phone number, so I have rest false hope on ever receiving a call from you. To save me from keep looking back, I even blocked you from all my IM accounts. That was a stupid but necessary move. When I said stupid, it is because you were the only one on the lists. Maybe I am crude but I learnt it from you my dear. You wanted to have nothing to do with me, then so be it. What I did might sounded like an quick and easy tasks but it took me a great deal of courage to complete the whole lot; to untie all the bonds between us!

!, i could feel how sad u were when typing these messages

keep doing it and u will be relieved

he must read ur words here!

I am a HE

oh, i thought guys who can express his despair from love with sensible words are all died in this century?

"!" i feel for you. It is always hard to accept that someone you loved so dearly has left...but life goes on. Don't be discouraged. I am sure you will find someone who truly love you and appreciate you. Don't look back. Look forward.

Dear... I have just browsed through my blog and found a passage i wrote to you last year.No wonder you shown no emotion to what i wrote because looking back, its simply non-sense. You weren't moved then, I don't suppose you will now.

The same old Oak Tree

I am as old as an old Oak Tree.

Stand alone on a windly hill top since no one could ever remeber.

Not a soul is near, nor anything wish to mingle with me.

With my dry brown bark coated all over, I never appear lively at all.

It all remained for so long, until one day, one day, there was this single green leaf grew on my branch.

The leaf stand odd on me but it stuck to me against rain and wind.

I never thought it will last, cos it is so green, fresh and cheerish, how could it face the tough weather and boring life with me!!

Days went by, months gone, soon the days became years and it remains as my sole devoted companion.

I am old but my soul was not dead. I can tell why the little green leaf struggle to stay, I was touched, I felt attached to it rather than the other way round.

Without knowing why, not knowing how, one day, the weather was calm, there was no rain, without for-warn, the beloved leaf suddenly drifted off without a word said.

I was caught off guard, I was devasted, I was back to the same old log once again.

The little green leaf left a scar on me. It reminds me of its existance once and it cast a deep memory on me.

Also, It marked how neglected I had been to the little green leaf while It was with me.

The wind continue to blow, I can no longer hear the rattle of the little green leaf.

The sun continue to shine, I can no longer feel the tiny shadow cast by the little green leaf.

I was old, and I am older than I was now. Tree is no longer the word to describe me because a tree with no life can only be called a log.

hi,

some thing really bottom of the heart,i love it.

i am south asian guy but i dont care who u r male or female .wanna friend with you can we friend there .

i like ur style its so romantic thanks

Wow, you are one romantic guy! I thought you were a "she".

hmm...........can u please stop making me cry .......

though i really love what u write....it is also the story of mine.

I am the SHE, and he is the HE.....

since the day he decided to leave me, he untied the ropes of a docked ship...one by one...and he has gone for good...

i have no way to contact him anymore..

the last morning ....the last kiss....yet still in my memory, clearly

niche ,

yes he is romantic guy

i am also but i am south asian

looking also romantic lady too

care and share

! and others,

below's a poem, once a net-frd sent me when I was totally collapsed with tears shedding days & nites 2 yrs ago. Just to share with you:-

At night

At night I lay and think of you hoping my wishes and dreams come true

At night I wonder can this be the end is this all that's left

At night I wish we could go to the way things were

At night I lay and cry about the things that happened and how it all ended

At night I lay and think of us, I mean you and I

At night I realize there's no more us

At night I dream of us together again

At night I wish for us to be together again

But in the MORNING I realize it was all

At Night

4 November 2:41 (King)

if we don't control oursevles, we would lose control to touch something which should not be touched.

Life is the matter of controlling. We need to control our thinking, should not cross the line.

Control is good. No one gets hurt.

4 November 3:32 (King)

We need to be careful when playing any types of games.

Tug of war is not easy to play. News reported people arms are being pulled during the game.

No one wants that kind of hurt..

Love is similar to tug of war....

Hi thread owner,

I'm very appreciate for yr heart word. But just curious, why you not show of your nick name here, to let her know? That's what you said on above of the first paragraph. And it may show to the one to know form you. How cherish and missing you are.right?

I'm gal..

I feel sad these day,he leave me about 2 week...

I call him one time and he no pick up my call,I know I love him...

I will forever remember Not just the day you left, But the day you came.

Yet another sleeplessness night in a row! What’s going on? Have I been cursed for what I wrote here? If so, let it be, I won’t give in and let go the last territory where I could possibly express myself to you freely. Looked into the mirror on the sanitary closet this morning, I could see a pair of blood filled eyeballs hidden under dark and wrinkled skin, that’s me I told myself, I better get used to the look it. With aging showing all over my face, it should come as no surprise to me that why I was being dumped, if not any sooner. Daily brushing up is more like an auto- reflex action to me rather than with a purpose, I was never a person who cares about how I look or present in front of others, so looking like a Prime News Reporter on screen or some kind of cheap company courier is all the same to me.

I am sure that I missed you more than I could ever put into words. Despite of having your account blocked in my MSN list most of the time, there are times when I would secretly clicked those items to unblock you and watch your green icon showing on my list under invisible mode. Pervert act as it might sound but the temptation is there, I can’t, I am just not ready to delete your account altogether yet. Every time when I did that secret act, at the back of my head, I would tell myself that; just one more time and this will be the last time. Frankly, I don’t know if I should be shooting to death for telling lie so many times.

As always I did it again this morning in the office. I was carless this time and got caught. You beeped me and said hello..…… what was I suppose to do, pull the plug of my PC out right away as if it has caught virus? It would be too obvious and absurd. Besides, was it not my daily wish to be contacted once again? Surely I did make replies as you have already realized after I recovered from momentary shock. What was exchanged was irrelevant because the content was brief and lacks any warmth we used to offer to each others. The thing which kept me think hard is the reply you typed on the LCD for the question I have asked. I just couldn’t figure out why you said what you did….Could it be that …..

you met her here.

Let it be

Set her free

Set you free

Hi ! ,

It's painful to think about it all the time, I think you need to do some other things to divert your attention like to do some exercise, to go hiking.. go some other places which can inspire you that love is not the only thing in your life, may be you will find your another true love!! Please look forward and set a deadline for yourself to wrap up the sadness and have a good start in the new yr!!

add me ok?

i am 32

180cm tall

msn is [email protected]

Dear, I did try to move on. I have not been lazy, I did try hard attempting to find someone or at least something to mask your place in my heart and in my soul but we know it won't work. Don't we! Out of desperation, I even imagined to hate you,if that's what it takes. Yet I asked myself on what ground could I hate you for. Even the day when you slammed your front door at my face and my bunch of flowers on the St Valentine's Day while your newly met sleeping soundly on your bed is forgivable, I doubt I could ever hate you at all. Perhaps you thought all you have done could turn my love into hatred then you are utterly wrong. To love someone meant taking up the obligation to forgive her mistakes too, right?

Do you know why i dare not to get in touch with you at all, even through the simplest email / sms? Because my wound is still fresh, any mistake would definitely make it worse. I beg you, please don't be in touch unless you are willing to heal my wound.

!,

I would use 黃力宏's song "Forever Love" to accompany your sadness forever! God bless you!

There I was again. In the absence of your company, I have travelled to Macau once again. Each time when I set foot here, my inner guilt just overwhelmed me. Not just once did you mention about spending time together at some place quiet where you and I could dress in someone’s skin and melt into our own world. You have in fact bear with me for three years waited for that to happen, your patience was taken for granted by me and I kept deferring and postponing the plan. Now the plan is my sin.

After the day you left, by chance I did travel more frequent than I used to and been to more places where I wish you could have been there with me. Pity, it all came too late! I know you won’t wish for a five star trip with accommodation at a top rated hotel nor would you be disappointed if we dine at places where silverwares are replaced by simple utensils because the highlight of our trip is us.

It was a warm afternoon today; I had to take off all my winter gears while waiting for my lunch at a beach side restaurant. If it wasn’t the couple who sat at the far end of the restaurant, I would have been the only customer there. Macau is not exactly a strange place to me but being at such a lovely place is a new experience. The restaurant is located at the end of a remote beach surrounded all three sides by hills and the only access to the place is via a single lane driveway leading from the hill behind. I sat quietly under the shade of the umbrella overlooking rhythm of the tides, my mind was blank except you. Didn’t I wish that you were there. The waves, the sound of ocean and the glittering sun reminded me of our trip to Cheung Sha where we spend our romantic walk along the silky smooth sandy beach. How sarcastic.. the sun remains shinning above me, the ocean waves is so near, yet you are no longer anywhere to be found.

Testing or teasing me is the question I am still asking myself. While I was busying with relative’s get-together last Saturday, I got your messages, one after another popped up in my cell phone. Surely I am hunger to hear from you but I was equally worried by the reason why you have sent those unexpected messages. Despite my confusion, I eagerly clicked open the messages. The words there were brief and simple; you told me that you were feeling down and lonesome. You didn’t offer any hint as to where you were or what you expect from me. Out of instinct, I quickly jotted a few words to you and offered to meet at some place mid-way between your place and mine. Instead of an expected yes, you replied that you were out and have shall have an appointment with your manicure shortly. Fair enough I thought, lonesome doesn’t necessarily strike only when one is at home, so, I found out your where-about through SMS immediately and rushed to the district where you said you were at. Logic wasn’t with me then, instinct was because I can still recall what happened last time when I did not respond soon enough.

The mind game is a strange thing. On one hand I kept telling myself that as long as she lives a happy life, everything else would not matter. Nonetheless, in reality, it doesn’t seem to quite work that way. My jealousy often drives me to drill into illusion of her having a merry life with another man, how they would spend their time doing things together, share their intimate moments etc. I know I neither have the right to direct how she lives her life nor to interfere with her choice, but, hey, after all I am only human, how my mind works I have no control of. At least that is the excuse I gave to myself.

Every night I would hide behind the invisible mode on MSN and spy on her log in and log out activities, paid attention on what she wrote in her personal message. I do admit what I have been doing is immoral but then again, having told myself that I have managed to refrained myself from doing other silly things, this is the least that I could grant myself. Its been too long to remember when she dumped me, yet, every time when I look back, it seems to be happened just yesterday. They told me to move on, they told me to let go. What they said is obvious but what I do is also obvious from my point of view. How could I let go when I fall for her so deeply. There is no one to blame for what has happened on me because I am the one who dictate my own doings. Expectation of sympathy is not something in my mind. In contrary, I wish for nothing from no one. Not even at times when my life fell so low, even my esteem is worse than a dog’s! While I am writing this journal, I know I still hates women. If there is anything I might have learnt from THAT relationship, it has to be truth that women are not trustworthy. Everyone said how deep she loved me, how she sacrifice herself to keep up with me while we were together but then would they have know what I have sacrifice too, both before and after THAT relationship has deceased. The answer obviously is no. All they see in a married man is selfishness; playful and irresponsible.

This is the journal for another of my life. Another day just like every other it had been, plain, simple and tasteless. If there is a real choice between to live on or to let go, I know what my pick would be because its obvious. Pity that I cannot go with my preference because I have no control of my life, it is people around that dictate how I should go about every day! Even though you are gone now but your influences carry a great effect to my mind and life. I am not ready to let go yet because if I do, my mind will be just as empty as the cigarette pack left on my table right now.

You have written a piece of excellant article. It is touching, astonishing and powerful. I walk on the same path too. Outsiders won't understand the feeling of the Insiders. Today, some kind of mixed feeling attack me, drive me away from works.

Is the due to some special reason? I think so, I know the secret.

Does it really a matter? No.

Does it mean I end my journey? Negative.

Move on to have a better control of life? Must.

Shall I get fill in the empty cigarettee pack? I'd perfer to buy a new pack, it costs me a few 'green crab' only.

Last, should I delete him from my email, msn & phonebook? Last, I do, I did and I have done. Tough, he is part of my history, he is printed in my heart, he is ...

I wish ... he can live happier than me, because now I am happy. I wish ... he can enjoy what I am enjoying now, share the same feeling of me.

hb x 10000000000000

Oh, very touching indeed. Cant hardly hold the tears in my eyes when I go thru all the posts. They cruelly open up the deepest memories which have been carefully locked up deep in my mind.

Oh.. I miss her so much

!

I hope i didn't read it wrong...I believe you two are just 'net lover'

you two never been together....not even a single day...

she's your soul mate...

girl.

u must be one of my old acquaintance.

Everyone only shed understanding and sympathy towards the woman, they all stood by her side and judged her as the only victim here. Have they ever been fair? Just because the guy; me is a married person, it doesn't automatically imply that I am the guilty party and responsible for all my consequnces. How the relationship had its first sparkle or what the relationship should be classed as is irrelevant. I do not intend to raise an appeal here or there, and beg for sympathy. Why? Because the last person who proclaimed that I am her soulmate has knowingly betrayed me, how could I rest faith on anyone else. She was the last person I placed hope on and she will also be the last person I need anything from.

I do not intend to use this thread for dialogue. I am sorry to have disappointed or misled any of you all along. I am deepy sorry.