婚外情

2003年發生了很多事故, 爸爸不在, 而我先生就和別的女人發生婚外情, 本來我不知道, 但是當時直覺上有一些事情不妥, 後來花了很多金錢找私家偵探查他, 結果發現了事情, 因為他的不忠, 所以令我相當痛苦, 實實在在體驗到甚麼是心如刀割, 當時我亦查到這個女人的資料, 當時家姐跟我說, 麻鷹唔管去管雞仔, 所以我沒有打電話給她, 之後吵吵鬧鬧了一段時間, 事情不了了之. 其實我先生待我不錯, 物質都算滿足, 可是他跟一般男人沒兩樣, 還是隱瞞我去做不道德的事情, 昨天他跟我說有一個女人問他愛不愛她, 而這個女人是他以前的舊同事, 我不曉得他為何要跟我講, 當然心裡是難過的, 今年我四十歲了, 有一份穩定的工作, 而我們沒有小孩, 一個年華老去的女人, 我還可以做甚麼? 很沮喪.........

add msn ?
 [email protected]

what do you want? can I help?

心情很差勁, 做女人很難.

傷心之余, 問下自己是否感到不憤才不願意放手. 40 years, not too old je. 你講緊嘅是第三者定係第四者呀. 你老公好似好花心bor.

你講得對, 我是一個傳統的女人, 很期待婚姻可以白頭, 奈何不是每件事都是理所當然.

妳有無試過直接問佢出面係唔係有其他女人呀？

我同你差不多一樣case
 不過, 我選擇離婚, 選擇過單身, 選擇過開心自主既生活
 不過, 你都好d, 起碼有舒適生活, 我果時直情要倒貼, 嘔dud之食仲要為頭家欠咭數...
 不過, 我有細路
 
 離婚後, 我仲開心咗, 雖然都對男人無信心, 但唔再需要提心吊膽諗佢有無女人; 可能日後都會單身, 但呢類唔係我可以控制
 時代轉變了, 思想不變根本生存唔到. 我---都係傳統女人, 以為一愛便到白頭
 
 加油啦~

報復,佢搵女,妳搵仔,男女公平,比佢試下帶綠帽

傷心的紫羅蘭, life is short, make yourself more happier, don't stick on a relationship not happy.

wow, tulip, u are so strong and tough....!!!!! i admire u, your courage and determination!!!

I have the same case like you guys, I am still considering whether I should stay or leave cos he confessed everything to me and he wants me to stay by his side, he said he regreted for his wrong doings. But deep down I dont know whether I can trust him again.

每次他都否認, 但是我已經不想再找私家偵探去查, 兩個人相處貴乎坦誠, 心裡很失望.

我再睇返你個post, 你老公同你講有个舊同事話中意佢. 我黨得佢係想試探你嘅反應. 你点答佢呀? Besides, 我想知你地嘅關係係点? 有商有量 or 一个食住另一个呢?

你比我堅強得多, 要下定決心去離婚是很不容易的事情, 對不起, 我很懦弱, 趁著這幾天好好思考一下將來的前路,一下子失去了重心, 覺得徬徨失措.

如果我去找別的男人, 只是怕有報應.

一次不忠之後, 心裡就恍似埋藏著一根尖剌, 當觸摸起來的時候, 還會隱隱作痛, 我跟你一樣.

其實唔太係我提出離婚, 因為在我想提出時, 佢都開口了, 我只是配合/成全佢~
 
 abc, 謝謝~
 但我都唔想咁強, 係逼出黎的
 依家仲死, 佢好似想唔理d細路, 唔見又唔俾錢...
 好弊~
 
 紫羅蘭
 佢曾令你無信心, 依家你都信唔到佢, 問題在佢處, 佢有責任令你有信心...

我跟他說, 牛唔飲水唔襟得牛頭低, 如果你是正人君子的話, 應該拒絕她. 基本上他在生活上令無我憂, 平時關係如老夫老妻, 每天他回到家裡, 我都會照顧飲食, 也許真的太平淡, 問題就在這裡了.

我以前都好天真, 以為有浪子回頭
 但, 自身經歷既教訓係, 一次不忠, 百次不用
 我....行多好多冤枉路
 如果當時我有依家既智慧, 我今天會順暢好多, 我d細路亦唔使咁辛苦~

人幸福得太耐, 就會忘記了自己的幸福...
 
 我們不是比你堅強, 我們也都掙扎過, 所以你現在悲傷迷惘是很正常.

by ladyblue - 06/01/07 14:22
 
 can't agree more!

tulip: 現在你的小朋友有幾大個? 其實我曾經考慮生過一個小孩, 到了最後都是取消這個念頭. 這個男人好像不太負責任, 應該有道義去照顧小朋友.

兩個都係幼稚園階段
 
 道義?! 對佢黎講, 煙消雲散...因為無愛吧?!
 佢出面都仲有一個, 點理得我哋咁多?
 錢銀佢話無, 探細路我無逼佢, 但佢無心就係無心, 逼都無意義
 如果佢再咁生落去, 只會害死更多細路~

那麼現在你一個人照顧小朋友們, 會不會比較吃力, 一個人擔起頭家, 不容易, 我有一個朋友, 她也有兩個小朋友, 丈夫外邊有女人, 最後重消失埋, 好慘.

i have similar story.
 my husband started to have an affair when i was 7 months pregnant with his colleage. I discovered that in last christmas day.
 I now have a pair of twin babies. One boy and one girl. Ten months old.
 I was very sad and heartbroken.

聽到你的故事, 我也感到難過, 女人明白女人的感受,現在你的先生還有跟這個女人在一起嗎?

miiiiiiii,
 
 really sorry to hear that. how are your twins now, 10 months old should be crawling around , cute cute le. did your hb come back to you or he left the family?

辛苦架, 但生咗出黎, 唔理佢哋我又做唔出. 希望在明天囉~
 
 我都有親戚個老公欠落債, 無聲無色突然失蹤, 一個女人帶住兩個細路, 默默過咗7,8年喇...
 
 miiiiii
 咁你哋依家關係係點? 有無照顧你哋?!
 你都要加油呀, 小朋友好快大, 大咗就無咁辛苦架喇~ 10個月最好玩, 好好珍惜同小朋友一同成長, 呢d日子, 日後追唔返架~ =)

he comes back from time to time to visit us.
 Still dont know what's up in his mind.
 His whole family is disappointed by him.
 He has a very good family background...but he turned out to be nad.
 I am totally disappointed by him...though i still have a little hope that he may come back but as you girls said, deep down my heart, I can never trust him again.
 Love and marriage without trust is meaningless
 .

會個人生全沒有話無左邊過唔得
 沒在一個不美滿的婚姻�堶惜茖祗W了
 一個人生全於人世都想開開心心咁過
 但人的生命很有行不如簡條開心的路比自己行未重好
 你覺得自己慘or不妥其實有好多人慘過你
 所以你應重新尋找下自己的路
 做多D自己開心的事會更好

by 傷心的紫羅蘭 - 06/01/07 12:00
 
 I know, even I am a man

人海茫茫, 能夠在這裡碰到你們, 都是一個緣份, 謝謝大家給於意見.

哈哈~ 我當初都係喺度靠大家幫我振作
 如果唔係, 可能我今天都仲好頹廢...
 
 有時心眼好盲, 等大家摑一巴, 好過自己閉門諗餐飽~

你可以選擇
 
 (1)繼續忍，同一個變左心，唔再愛妳既老公一齊(假設他不提出離婚)
 (2)離開他，從新開始，之後可能會遇到更好的男人，也可能遇唔到，好視乎妳的條件和運氣
 (3)繼續同他維持同屋住關係，但各自偷歡

choose number 1 and 3 will make you cry every night.

選擇留低要好有勇氣, 要有"信任"既勇氣, 有"面對"既勇氣
 何lily咁強, 要保住段婚姻, 但都係逃走中國, 先搵到自己...
 
 反而離開既勇氣不大, 只要一下, 豁出去即成
 我....可能係弱者吧~

每人都有自己既困難既
 
 有d女人驚離婚之後，搵唔到其他男人，唔想成世孤獨，or 財政上不能自立，都只可以選擇忍
 (3)唔係最好方法，但起碼開心d，唔駛自己成日鬱住
 如果無仔女，財政又許可，自問仲有魅力，就一定揀(2)啦

年青的時候, 我的夢想是有一個幸福的家庭, 原來發現白頭到老是那麼的困難, 做太太和做媽媽都是不容易的.

tulip
 我都忍唔住想同你講聲, 加油呀!
 有兩個幼稚園階段既小朋友, 應該真係唔易捱, 好開心聽到你依家生活得比以前開心
 
 miiiiii
 sad to hear your story, and impressed by your words "Love and marriage without trust is meaningless"; understand your difficulty in making any decision; wish u could clear up all the mess earlier

乙
 多謝你! =) 希望難關已經過哂喇~ 我為頭捱咗好幾年, 衰運亦纏咗我幾年, 去年尾好似有d好轉, 希望平安是福!!!
 
 紫羅蘭
 我覺得做太太比做媽媽難好多...
 做媽媽不求回報, 孩子激到你死都好, 最終你都會盡心盡力湊佢哋
 做太太, 求回報架~ 所以會比較, 會執著"點解你要咁對我", 如果佢對你唔好, 你就會好frustrated. 所以好難...

第一次知道他有外遇時, 我亦曾經這樣問過他, 你點解要咁對我, 當然最後是沒有答案, 吵鬧過後我選擇了繼續忍, 其實真的很辛苦, 每晚掉眼淚的感覺很難受,很後期跟媽媽談起這件事, 家母說, 丈夫丈夫, 一丈之夫, 有時候當甚麼也看不到就算, 然後我說, 如果換轉我去找別人,那麼媽媽你可以接受嗎?

我都係好蠢地原諒咗佢第一次出軌...
 
 媽媽年代, 乜都忍得, 莫講話有女人, 就連打都忍得, 我常常問自己, 係咪我唔夠堅持? 係咪我唔夠承擔?

忍得皆因無選擇
 以前女人要靠老公養
 走得去邊?

tulip, 想當初你也流了很多的眼淚, 經過了一段黑暗的日子, 我覺得你帶著兩個小孩, 咬緊牙關地生活, 很了不起, 因為理念不同, 所以現在我已經不再跟媽媽談這些事情, 很想請教你, 你們簽署分居書之後, 是否立即搬到別的地方居住?

流很多眼淚....嗯...差點盲, 嘻嘻~
 
 我咁啱分開時賣到樓, 順便搵屋搬囉
 同埋無搵律師, 自己上家事法庭, 13xx搞掂
 分居期自己推前咗(即係推到未事發前已"分居", 所以幾個月就離到婚), 同屋都可以報稱分居
 
 但你真係唔同佢問清楚先呀?

流很多眼淚....嗯...差點盲, 嘻嘻~
 
 我咁啱分開時賣到樓, 順便搵屋搬囉
 同埋無搵律師, 自己上家事法庭, 13xx搞掂
 分居期自己推前咗(即係推到未事發前已"分居", 所以幾個月就離到婚), 同屋都可以報稱分居
 
 但你真係唔同佢問清楚先呀?

i realised that most men are irresponsible. my husband told everyone that his affair happened because there were problems in our relationship which happened long ago.
 that was not true. His affair was due to his weak will-power to stand against seduction...and he accounted his own fault to the innocent me. i still remember we went to see specialist for babies a few months before his affair happened. i hate this man and will never forgive him.

這兩天我會再次跟他問過清楚, 盡量以心平氣和的態度, 現在家人並不知道我們的事情, 等到事情真相大白時, 我才告訴他們.