marriage is getting like friendship. do you feel the same?



  • let share about marriage



    i am a guy, married for years.  marriage to me is kind of living with a very very closed friend.  romantic feelings in the very beginning seems fade away.  it is not good nor bad, just a kind of feeling.



    all married couples are the same?  really wonder.

    sometimes i think of finding slsp.  just i am not so quality.



    hope some nfs can inspire me on this



  • how long you've been married?




  • do what u r qualified to do





    don't aim too much



  • This morning I told my hubby that I am not happy in our marriage. I questioned him: 'does you feel the same?'





    We hardly have sex in the past two years, and we hardly talk too. The communication line is breaking in both physical and mental field. Why's that?





    I think I have really worked hard to get the marriage back, he also attempted. However when a marriage has to end, we are just human who cannot act against the god's will, if it is his will tho.







  • married lady, you want to msn?



  • decent man,





    I am happy to stay here. Hope you feel the same.



  • I agreed the feeling changed a lot for being together for long, not much love sparkling. It's normal as both people being together for years. But if we talk about separation, it also gave a big hard feeling. I think we need to adjust ourselves for the change of the kind of relationship, may be from love to care, also adjust our feeling for that change. So far, it's not easy to find someone who can be together for a whole life.



  • married lady replied at 2012-07-10 8:35 am


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    This morning I told my hubby that I am not happy in our marriage. I questioned him: 'does you feel the same?'





    We hardly have sex in the past two years, and we hardly talk too. The communication line is breaking in both physical and mental field. Why's that?





    I think I have really worked hard to get the marriage back, he also attempted. However when a marriage has to end, we are just human who cannot act against the god's will, if it is his will tho.





    ===============================================================


    can i help? other than GOD........



  • married lady replied at 2012-07-10 9:37 am


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    decent man,





    I am happy to stay here. Hope you feel the same.


    ===============================================================


    same here



  • cwk replied at 2012-07-10 9:40 am


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    I agreed the feeling changed a lot for being together for long, not much love sparkling. It's normal as both people being together for years. But if we talk about separation, it also gave a big hard feeling. I think we need to adjust ourselves for the change of the kind of relationship, may be from love to care, also adjust our feeling for that change. So far, it's not easy to find someone who can be together for a whole life.


    ===============================================================


    It is a dilemma. I have to overcome the hard feeling before I make the decision to stay with that person in my remaining life time.





    Change is not a problem if change brings me peace and joy.




  • man,





    I don't need help, thanks.



  • my pleasure



  • married lady replied at 2012-07-10 10:27 am


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    cwk replied at 2012-07-10 9:40 am


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    I agreed the feeling changed a lot for being together for long, not much love sparkling. It's normal as both people being together for years. But if we talk about separation, it also gave a big hard feeling. I think we need to adjust ourselves for the change of the kind of relationship, may be from love to care, also adjust our feeling for that change. So far, it's not easy to find someone who can be together for a whole life.


    ===============================================================


    It is a dilemma. I have to overcome the hard feeling before I make the decision to stay with that person in my remaining life time.





    Change is not a problem if change brings me peace and joy.


    ===============================================================


    r u sure u get the right direction and destination for changes?





    don't be CY (思歪) wor



  • married lady replied at 2012-07-10 10:27 am


    -------------------------------------------------------------


    It is a dilemma. I have to overcome the hard feeling before I make the decision to stay with that person in my remaining life time.





    Change is not a problem if change brings me peace and joy.


    ===============================================================





    I think it's only you knowing what you want. But I think you need to ask yourself if you still have feeling on him or not, no matter it's love or others. To a certain age, especially middle age, it's not easy to afford changes, and changes may not give you something better than now.





    I have a similar situation of you, i choose keeping the current situation unchanged, but try to explore something I want.




  • cwk,





    I have discussed with him several times about this topic. We both understand that 'change' may not give us better ending and 'change' may bring me a more serious and unaffordable consequences as I am a working mother.





    I am not a good wife, I cannot tolerate a marriage likes this.



  • r u a good mother, then?



  • Well...guess the issue to consider will be what you will lose by giving up this marriage, life is full of practical considerations....guess passion and sex may not be relevant any more here...



  • married lady replied at 2012-07-10 11:10 am


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    cwk,





    I have discussed with him several times about this topic. We both understand that 'change' may not give us better ending and 'change' may bring me a more serious and unaffordable consequences as I am a working mother.





    I am not a good wife, I cannot tolerate a marriage likes this.


    ===============================================================





    I totally understand your feeling and situation, so i got a SL before, and really enjoyed some romantic period which I lost. Although the moment was not long, it already give me a period of happy moment.





    I am not asking you to be the same, I just think you can explore some other things you like, such as finding some friends or soul mates for sharing, rather than just stick yourself in current situation.



  • it's a family problem more than a marriage problem



  • man replied at 2012-07-10 11:22 am


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    r u a good mother, then?


    ===============================================================





    Up to this moment, I am the best mother in my child's world. I think I do better than many other 'helicopter' 'monster' parents.




  • And, my child is the support and only support to my marriage.



  • hi all~~





    i think loss of passion is a common phenomenon of marriage.




  • I date with wife over 10 yrs and married over 10 years. I can say the passion off many years ago. However, I still find her is a very good wife. No complaint.


    Sometimes will hugry for a passion n romance. I know it is just greedy.



  • married lady replied at 2012-07-10 11:50 am


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    And, my child is the support and only support to my marriage.


    ===============================================================





    your case is better than me, I don't have a kid, and I think it's important to maintain a marriage too especially when both getting old.



  • married lady replied at 2012-07-10 11:50 am


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    And, my child is the support and only support to my marriage.


    ===============================================================


    why not keep both, or 3? win-win situation for all!?



  • 234 replied at 2012-07-10 12:04 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    I date with wife over 10 yrs and married over 10 years. I can say the passion off many years ago. However, I still find her is a very good wife. No complaint.


    Sometimes will hugry for a passion n romance. I know it is just greedy.


    ===============================================================





    I am not hungry for passion or romance, they are nice to have but not must within a 10 yo marriage. I just want a feeling of connection, a simple task but uneasy to achieve.





    Anyway, he called and told me that he was not happy after the morning short conversation. I am not just 'unhappy', I feel 'upset' and 'frustrated' because no matter how hard we tried, our achievement is still ... back to the square one.



  • 234 replied at 2012-07-10 12:04 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    I date with wife over 10 yrs and married over 10 years. I can say the passion off many years ago. However, I still find her is a very good wife. No complaint.


    Sometimes will hugry for a passion n romance. I know it is just greedy.


    ===============================================================


    do u ever afraid that your wife might found out u cheating and u might lost her as consequence? and will u still take that risk to fulfill your greed?



  • married lady replied at 2012-07-10 1:50 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    234 replied at 2012-07-10 12:04 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    I date with wife over 10 yrs and married over 10 years. I can say the passion off many years ago. However, I still find her is a very good wife. No complaint.


    Sometimes will hugry for a passion n romance. I know it is just greedy.


    ===============================================================





    I am not hungry for passion or romance, they are nice to have but not must within a 10 yo marriage. I just want a feeling of connection, a simple task but uneasy to achieve.





    Anyway, he called and told me that he was not happy after the morning short conversation. I am not just 'unhappy', I feel 'upset' and 'frustrated' because no matter how hard we tried, our achievement is still ... back to the square one.


    ===============================================================


    really don't need counselling?



  • married lady replied at 2012-07-10 1:50 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    I am not hungry for passion or romance, they are nice to have but not must within a 10 yo marriage. I just want a feeling of connection, a simple task but uneasy to achieve.





    Anyway, he called and told me that he was not happy after the morning short conversation. I am not just 'unhappy', I feel 'upset' and 'frustrated' because no matter how hard we tried, our achievement is still ... back to the square one.


    ===============================================================





    You said he called you and told he was not happy. It means he also concern this relationship much. What I can feel is both of you looking at the negative side and forget those you have and had. I also agreed counselling may be helpful to you, as you both may need a 3rd person to help you to find a way to solve the problem. Although I don't know what you tried, it may not be the correct way, so you can't get the problem solved. Seeking help is what you need now.



  • doctors can't heal themselves..........



  • bobo replied at 2012-07-10 2:00 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    234 replied at 2012-07-10 12:04 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    I date with wife over 10 yrs and married over 10 years. I can say the passion off many years ago. However, I still find her is a very good wife. No complaint.


    Sometimes will hugry for a passion n romance. I know it is just greedy.


    ===============================================================


    do u ever afraid that your wife might found out u cheating and u might lost her as consequence? and will u still take that risk to fulfill your greed?


    ===============================================================


    Afraid but still want to.





    I can say love n passion also like drug. Easy to addict. Either stay away from it or will easily start. People always think can control drug or affair in the beginning, finally may be not





    One thing is interesting, even a new relationship (SL or SP), it begin with love and passion. It will cool down finally



  • there's end to everything, 4 sure



  • married lady replied at 2012-07-10 1:50 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    234 replied at 2012-07-10 12:04 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    I date with wife over 10 yrs and married over 10 years. I can say the passion off many years ago. However, I still find her is a very good wife. No complaint.


    Sometimes will hugry for a passion n romance. I know it is just greedy.


    ===============================================================





    I am not hungry for passion or romance, they are nice to have but not must within a 10 yo marriage. I just want a feeling of connection, a simple task but uneasy to achieve.





    Anyway, he called and told me that he was not happy after the morning short conversation. I am not just 'unhappy', I feel 'upset' and 'frustrated' because no matter how hard we tried, our achievement is still ... back to the square one.


    ===============================================================





    Want to know more about connection? What do u mean?


    Heart to heart understanding?




  • 234 replied at 2012-07-10 5:48 pm





    Want to know more about connection? What do u mean?


    Heart to heart understanding?


    ===============================================================





    Once you have experienced disconnection, you would understand what is connection look like.





    I cannot think of other word to describe 'connection'. Heart to Heart maybe correct, hmm, 同理心, 密契, 契約 are probably the right words.



  • cwk replied at 2012-07-10 2:37 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    You said he called you and told he was not happy. It means he also concern this relationship much. What I can feel is both of you looking at the negative side and forget those you have and had. I also agreed counselling may be helpful to you, as you both may need a 3rd person to help you to find a way to solve the problem. Although I don't know what you tried, it may not be the correct way, so you can't get the problem solved. Seeking help is what you need now.


    ===============================================================





    I maybe over-pessimistic, the expert consultant I may need is a laywer / solicitor, in the end of the road.




  • Sign off!



  • 西又痕,又唔比人幫手OW,又要嗌痕,更要用D七八成英文扮高尚縊痕。其實都係一句西痕講晒!hahaha



  • Talking about Change ...





    A big step to change in marriage may imply divorce. To me it is like changing job, you don't know what you will get into - a better one or a even worse one. however one thing for sure is you are giving up the current one, may/may not let you less frustrated.





    To divorce is a big step, just like to get married.





    So never think about that except you think there is no way out!



  • friday night, boring night ..



  • We have another talk on that night.. a big step forward, or a big step backward?



  • friday night, boring night ...



  • any chat mates before lunch?



  • hi pat.



  • hi reis, how's your work day?





  • Marriage is like taking you to hell and trust me, don't ever never try it!!





  • Women are all ended up fuxking bitches & whores



  • married man


    i cannot agree with you. do you have bad experience?



  • Marriage is the biggest con runs by women



  • and they get real fat too after marriage



  • patchan replied at 2012-08-13 1:56 pm


    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    married man


    i cannot agree with you. do you have bad experience?


    ===============================================================





    Me, and my friends' real experiences are all of the above :-)


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