我愈來愈投入，係咪應該同SL分手？

bluedream2018 replied at 2011-11-24 12:27 pm
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 Hi AA,
 
 It seems u r too attached with the relationship with ur SL. Frankly, SL is just another BF of urs just u try to simplify into just sex or undertable. What most important is committment between u2. If u r will to commit but he don't, I don't think there is much u can do. So may be what u should do is to figure out how he thinks about this relationship and then make the next move.
 ===============================================================
 
 Thanks bluedream.
 
 Actually I can see his committment, and he did really trying to do more to satisify me, just he always use the wrong method and made me feel upset.
 
 Of coz I know that he should take care her girlfriend more than me, just women is not always understanding, esp at the mid night.
 
 I hope I can find a better way to go along with him. just I don't know how.

I have been with my sl for a long time, he calls me 'second wife' 'half wife' because he is a married guy. I never call him the same because I am afraid of committment. Yet, I hate to see him staying with his wife and I openly talk my feeling.
 
 The best part of the sl relationship is to taste all sort of possible feelings arising from a normal couple, but free from the burden of obligation, responsibility and liability.
 
 Enjoy as much as you can. If can't, stay away as far as possible.

less replied at 2011-11-24 2:01 pm
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 I have been with my sl for a long time, he calls me 'second wife' 'half wife' because he is a married guy. I never call him the same because I am afraid of committment. Yet, I hate to see him staying with his wife and I openly talk my feeling.
 
 The best part of the sl relationship is to taste all sort of possible feelings arising from a normal couple, but free from the burden of obligation, responsibility and liability.
 
 Enjoy as much as you can. If can't, stay away as far as possible.
 ===============================================================
 Cannot agreed more! This SL relatinship thing is just a game. If u cannot stand the rules than either leave the game or u own the game. For AA, I think the best option is to own the game(SL) n turn him to a real BF.

難聽點講, 看待SL的心就如對自己寶貝寵物(對待當然是對人的對待)

Actually, we are doing similar. He care my feeling, but just he always cannot handle the things well to avoid my hard feeling.
 I always try to keep our relationship as honest as possible, I let him know what I feel & how i think. But sometimes talking too much will become a complain and so to the arguement...

My SL is not a good BF option, and he is younger than me, we have different road to go.

AA,
 
 有無打算找過一個SL

AA replied at 2011-11-24 1:56 pm
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 Thanks bluedream.
 
 Actually I can see his committment, and he did really trying to do more to satisify me, just he always use the wrong method and made me feel upset.
 
 Of coz I know that he should take care her girlfriend more than me, just women is not always understanding, esp at the mid night.
 
 I hope I can find a better way to go along with him. just I don't know how.
 ===============================================================
 Dear AA,
 
 Thank you for ur reply. I can tell u r really attached with this relationship and have strong believes that he is the Mr. right for u. Since u r not little gal anymore so I would discourage u on this SL thing. However, if u believe this man is worth to fight for, than u have to fight for it. Because u have to be certain on one thing is that how ur SL treat u vs his gf? And is he will to do something he hate for his gf but not for u? If yes, u r still in very bad position in this relationship.

AA replied at 2011-11-24 2:52 pm
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 My SL is not a good BF option, and he is younger than me, we have different road to go.
 ===============================================================
 Age is not an issue. I am 3+ years younger than my wife but we can still communicate well with each other. It is all about foot step and does he, or u willing to match with it.

Age is an issue to me, becuase I want to have BB in coming years and he is too young for this, I am 6+ to him.
 
 Up to today, we have no problem in communication. But he is a very selfish person PLUS he still not play enough, not a good choice for marriage. Even I know I like him more than my real BF, I afriad to change. And a selfish person won't do such a big action for a 6+ women.

AA replied at 2011-11-24 3:16 pm
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 Age is an issue to me, becuase I want to have BB in coming years and he is too young for this, I am 6+ to him.
 
 Up to today, we have no problem in communication. But he is a very selfish person PLUS he still not play enough, not a good choice for marriage. Even I know I like him more than my real BF, I afriad to change. And a selfish person won't do such a big action for a 6+ women.
 ===============================================================
 Wise choice my dear. U already have ur answer so it is jusy about how long this SL relationship can maintain. However, I can c there is another issue is that u don't really attach with ur BF (or not anymore). Seems u r going to face a big change very soon.

Yes, I am not really attach with my BF, we are going together because he treat me very good. He is a good guy for marriage.
 
 As mentioned before, I never love others much, this is the first time with my SL. That's why I wonder as I never think I have such a day! Now can only wait and see how long we can be.

broke up after 4-2-2012

man replied at 2011-11-24 3:58 pm
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 broke up after 4-2-2012
 ===============================================================
 Why 4-2-2012?

a new year starts

hi AA
 其實我覺得自己情況同你有D相似 haha
 都係覺得大家段感情係真的... 唔係partner咁簡單
 因為對方真係好錫自己好care自己..
 甚至乎仲錫過自己以前d男友
 
 我都覺得自己愈黎愈投入都驚自己抽唔到身所以好想及早離場
 但掉返轉頭諗..
 呢一刻大家都咁開心你抽到身咩?

rabbitxxx replied at 2011-11-24 4:15 pm
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 hi AA
 其實我覺得自己情況同你有D相似 haha
 都係覺得大家段感情係真的... 唔係partner咁簡單
 因為對方真係好錫自己好care自己..
 甚至乎仲錫過自己以前d男友
 
 我都覺得自己愈黎愈投入都驚自己抽唔到身所以好想及早離場
 但掉返轉頭諗..
 呢一刻大家都咁開心你抽到身咩?
 ===============================================================
 
 其實我男朋友對我好過SL好多, 不過有時鍾意既野都無辦法.
 如果控制得到, 我都想我鍾意男朋友多D, 而SL就只係SL.
 咁樣2個關係都可以長久D, 舒服D.
 問題係我已經投入左, 我點樣可以過得好D?
 
 有時都真係有諗過, 到底真係要搵個岩既人一齊定自己鍾意既.
 我知我SL對我都唔係只係玩, 佢始終性格&年紀問題, 我好難咁唔現實, 始終都唔係18/22歲小妹妹.

AA replied at 2011-11-24 3:53 pm
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 Yes, I am not really attach with my BF, we are going together because he treat me very good. He is a good guy for marriage.
 
 As mentioned before, I never love others much, this is the first time with my SL. That's why I wonder as I never think I have such a day! Now can only wait and see how long we can be.
 ===============================================================
 Well... I know someone how has similar case like u. She is an attractive woman with a stable BF who earns big money in US firm. However, this woman likes his SL more but just cannot marry him becasue he is not as rice as the BF. After few years this womaon getting older, she find out her BF seems having another relationship. So she made up her mind and ask her bf to marry her in 6 months time. Now they have a baby and enjoy family life alot. What do u think about this story?

haha 你就好啦又有男友錫又有SL錫
 
 呢個就係我愛的人定愛我的人既關題啦..
 每個人需要既野唔同
 有D人覺得我愛你就算你對我幾差我要同你挨面包都制
 因為佢既幸福就係源於同一個佢愛既人一齊
 其實真係睇你自己需要既係點樣既愛情.. 你既幸福係源自邊度..

我就慘, 好易有磨擦, 但大家又錫大家

bluedream2018 replied at 2011-11-24 4:29 pm
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 AA replied at 2011-11-24 3:53 pm
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 Yes, I am not really attach with my BF, we are going together because he treat me very good. He is a good guy for marriage.
 
 As mentioned before, I never love others much, this is the first time with my SL. That's why I wonder as I never think I have such a day! Now can only wait and see how long we can be.
 ===============================================================
 Well... I know someone how has similar case like u. She is an attractive woman with a stable BF who earns big money in US firm. However, this woman likes his SL more but just cannot marry him becasue he is not as rice as the BF. After few years this womaon getting older, she find out her BF seems having another relationship. So she made up her mind and ask her bf to marry her in 6 months time. Now they have a baby and enjoy family life alot. What do u think about this story?
 ===============================================================
 
 Maybe I said something more about this. My BF is not rich, I go with him just because he love me much more than I do, that's why he treat me very good.
 
 I born from a family without love, that's why I mentioned before, I seldomly love others, because I really don't know how to do it.
 
 You know women need to bear in mind for their age if they want to have BB. I lack of a family, I really want to have my own BB. No mather how much I love my SL, this is what he cannot give me. But my currently BF can do, it's not a question if I love him or not.

kk replied at 2011-11-24 4:36 pm
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 我就慘, 好易有磨擦, 但大家又錫大家
 ===============================================================
 
 其實我同SL都成日有磨擦, 雖然佢唔係對我差, 不過佢處理得好差, 所以先令我成日介意同唔開心. 但偏偏又俾你知道佢有為你諗過...

其實我會同佢講有關於某某人既野你可以唔需要同我講
 甚至最好唔好係我面前提及
 咁可能會好d..

我真係唔知點好，開心時好開心，唔開心時好唔開心。

rabbit replied at 2011-11-24 4:44 pm
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 其實我會同佢講有關於某某人既野你可以唔需要同我講
 甚至最好唔好係我面前提及
 咁可能會好d..
 ===============================================================
 
 女人好煩既, 我有講過叫佢唔好俾我知咁多.
 但有時講開野時又會唔小心提到, 例如佢話要返屋企食飯咁.
 又或者佢同女朋友交代唔到而要放我飛機時, 又係避唔到, 除非佢講大話喇.

hi AA
 
 mind to tell how often you and your sl meet each week?

kk replied at 2011-11-24 4:45 pm
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 我真係唔知點好，開心時好開心，唔開心時好唔開心。
 ===============================================================
 B.A.D. person?

AA replied at 2011-11-24 4:50 pm
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 rabbit replied at 2011-11-24 4:44 pm
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 其實我會同佢講有關於某某人既野你可以唔需要同我講
 甚至最好唔好係我面前提及
 咁可能會好d..
 ===============================================================
 
 女人好煩既, 我有講過叫佢唔好俾我知咁多.
 但有時講開野時又會唔小心提到, 例如佢話要返屋企食飯咁.
 又或者佢同女朋友交代唔到而要放我飛機時, 又係避唔到, 除非佢講大話喇.
 ===============================================================
 你地幾耐見一次

做齊人好開心,左右逢源,每一刻do有人掛著自己,多麼好~

AA replied at 2011-11-24 4:38 pm
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 Maybe I said something more about this. My BF is not rich, I go with him just because he love me much more than I do, that's why he treat me very good.
 
 I born from a family without love, that's why I mentioned before, I seldomly love others, because I really don't know how to do it.
 
 You know women need to bear in mind for their age if they want to have BB. I lack of a family, I really want to have my own BB. No mather how much I love my SL, this is what he cannot give me. But my currently BF can do, it's not a question if I love him or not.
 ===============================================================
 Dear AA,
 
 I think know we r very clear about ur situation and understand why u r struggling between this 2 man. A man u really love but u don't want to bid on for future; and a man u don't love but for sure is a good father.
 Since having baby sounds very important to u, may be u should make up ur mind from this angle. At least that is really something u can hold and relay on for many years.

Dear AA,
 
 Family is also another important issue. In my experience, marriage is never between 2 person but 2 families. Ur case may be a bit different but since u want to have a family, I think u have to think from BB's angel as well... like who is a better father.
 
 $$$ is not everything but u have to make sure u r going to have a happy family instead of arguing on little things everyday. Ur choice my dear.

小三為了討好自己,為了給她少少時間,每天也在等自己......
 果種感覺真係無窮樂趣~

bluedream2018 replied at 2011-11-24 5:09 pm
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 Dear AA,
 
 Family is also another important issue. In my experience, marriage is never between 2 person but 2 families. Ur case may be a bit different but since u want to have a family, I think u have to think from BB's angel as well... like who is a better father.
 
 $$$ is not everything but u have to make sure u r going to have a happy family instead of arguing on little things everyday. Ur choice my dear.
 ===============================================================
 
 Thanks bludedream, I really love to talk to you.
 For sure, my BF is a good choice as I want BB, although he is not rich. But a good family is very important for BB to grow.

AA replied at 2011-11-24 5:18 pm
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 Thanks bludedream, I really love to talk to you.
 For sure, my BF is a good choice as I want BB, although he is not rich. But a good family is very important for BB to grow.
 ===============================================================
 U r welcome my dear. Actually I also have my own problem just I am willing to deal with it with my own way. May be noone will like the way I am taking but at least I do make everyone happy... at least for the moment.
 
 I think u still have time to think about ur future and u have a very clear direction so don't give up. So time u just to smile to worth/devil. u know what I mean?

齊人 replied at 2011-11-24 5:11 pm
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 小三為了討好自己,為了給她少少時間,每天也在等自己......
 果種感覺真係無窮樂趣~
 ===============================================================
 
 我從來唔會為討好佢而等, 如果佢咁諗我一定會走得好快.

bluedream2018 replied at 2011-11-24 5:32 pm
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 AA replied at 2011-11-24 5:18 pm
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 Thanks bludedream, I really love to talk to you.
 For sure, my BF is a good choice as I want BB, although he is not rich. But a good family is very important for BB to grow.
 ===============================================================
 U r welcome my dear. Actually I also have my own problem just I am willing to deal with it with my own way. May be noone will like the way I am taking but at least I do make everyone happy... at least for the moment.
 
 I think u still have time to think about ur future and u have a very clear direction so don't give up. So time u just to smile to worth/devil. u know what I mean?
 ===============================================================
 
 其實都係上黎呻下, SL就係SL, 唔岩既人就係唔岩. 只係到底維持幾耐.
 我做唔出為一個人而放棄自己, 仲要如果對方第日對我唔住, 我承受唔起.
 搵一個愛自己多過自己愛佢既人始終會舒服D, 但因為我唔夠愛, 所以我有SL平衡下.

齊人 replied at 2011-11-24 5:11 pm
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 小三為了討好自己,為了給她少少時間,每天也在等自己......
 果種感覺真係無窮樂趣~
 ===============================================================
 變態

其實我SL已經俾左好多時間我, 平均一星期都見2-4次, 如果唔計返屋企訓覺時間, 其實佢陪我多過佢陪女朋友算好多.
 就係因為咁先慢慢令我投入多左, 亦因為咁我先覺得佢對我都唔係玩.

AA replied at 2011-11-24 5:40 pm
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 其實我SL已經俾左好多時間我, 平均一星期都見2-4次, 如果唔計返屋企訓覺時間, 其實佢陪我多過佢陪女朋友算好多.
 就係因為咁先慢慢令我投入多左, 亦因為咁我先覺得佢對我都唔係玩.
 ===============================================================
 我都係見咁上下多時間

AA replied at 2011-11-24 1:12 am
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 我有男友，佢有女友。
 我唔知我SL點諗，但我SL細過我，所以我諗我地好難真係拍拖一齊。起碼生活步伐上夾唔到。
 ===============================================================
 除非你話差10幾年, 如果唔係我真係唔覺得係咩大問題.
 
 你同你男友依家都冇咩feel. 比你地結到婚又點? 日日生活好似例行工事咁有乜意思?(我估呢個都可能係你搵SL既原因)
 
 繼我話如果你真係接受唔到佢細過你, 你就2個都飛晒佢. 然後搵一個又有feel, 你又接受到ge.
 
 如果你條件唔差, 真係大把男人你揀. 呢個世界太多溝唔到女既可憐虫...而佢地既條件其實又未必係差...(我就係其中一個)
 
 講完.

做個怎樣的決定都不緊要，反而你要知道，你自己想這段關係怎樣！關係是雙向的，若對方朝向的目標與你不一致，結果只會彼此拖累！

Gamble Rules #1
 
 take it or leave it

I think we have alot of lucky ladies joined this topic who has clear objective and knowing who they are really looking for as life time partner.
 My experience is a bit diffreent. I have a very good GF when we r in university and best sex partner any man can ask for. However, I think she is like what yvelala said she started to feel tired about the relationship and we broke-up. Since that we don't have any connection between n we live out life. Now I am very happy with my wife and glad I didn't married my 1st gf. If I did, may be I will be arguing with her all the time about money or things to enrich the lifestyle.

AA replied at 2011-11-24 11:26 am
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 devileye replied at 2011-11-24 11:13 am
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 AA replied at 2011-11-24 10:22 am
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 我同佢都未結婚, 各自同各自男女朋友住.
 其實佢做野都忙, 變左時間分配上難度會高D, 要顧做野&女朋友&我, 所以有時間衝突時我就會係最後一個. 變相成日好似後備咁.
 而我自己時間分配上問題唔大, 所以我超少會出現呢種情況.
 
 其實因為佢都唔係玩我, 所以先難放手. 如果佢都係玩玩下, 我諗我會易D 睇開D.
 ===============================================================
 我都係差唔多,本身我自己單身,佢就有BF,所以我都係永遠只係佢最後既一個,等待既感覺真係唔係咁好...
 ===============================================================
 
 其實等待既感覺真係好差, 但當你知佢即使陪緊女朋友都會抽時間打俾自己時, 你又放手唔到. 而且亦因為佢"可能"會打黎, 所以咪又繼續等,有時等到有時等唔到.
 ===============================================================
 等待不只感覺差還有很痛,好傻,為何給他帶勳着自己的情緒

AA:
 
 其實我SL已經俾左好多時間我, 平均一星期都見2-4次, 如果唔計返屋企訓覺時間, 其實佢陪我多過佢陪女朋友算好多.
 就係因為咁先慢慢令我投入多左, 亦因為咁我先覺得佢對我都唔係玩.
 ===================================================
 有無興趣搵多個SL陪你, 我岩岩失戀既靚仔, 想搵個SL陪下我, 你有興趣add我msn: [email protected]

bluedream2018 replied at 2011-11-25 3:12 pm
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 I think we have alot of lucky ladies joined this topic who has clear objective and knowing who they are really looking for as life time partner.
 My experience is a bit diffreent. I have a very good GF when we r in university and best sex partner any man can ask for. However, I think she is like what yvelala said she started to feel tired about the relationship and we broke-up. Since that we don't have any connection between n we live out life. Now I am very happy with my wife and glad I didn't married my 1st gf. If I did, may be I will be arguing with her all the time about money or things to enrich the lifestyle.
 ===============================================================
 
 You love your first GF or your wife more?
 May I share your worries?

AA replied at 2011-11-24 8:40 am
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 男SL replied at 2011-11-24 1:49 am
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 不好放棄, 我的SL就係咁放棄了我,
 我現在好唔開心, 我唔想再有另一個唔開心的人出現.
 ===============================================================
 
 如果對方能夠處理得好啲，時間分配得好啲，顧慮到我感受，我會辛苦少啲。
 ===============================================================
 可能就係因為我地之係SL,佢既時間永遠唔會公平咁分配到俾我地

devileye replied at 2011-11-26 6:05 pm
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 AA replied at 2011-11-24 8:40 am
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 男SL replied at 2011-11-24 1:49 am
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 不好放棄, 我的SL就係咁放棄了我,
 我現在好唔開心, 我唔想再有另一個唔開心的人出現.
 ===============================================================
 
 如果對方能夠處理得好啲，時間分配得好啲，顧慮到我感受，我會辛苦少啲。
 ===============================================================
 可能就係因為我地之係SL,佢既時間永遠唔會公平咁分配到俾我地
 ===============================================================
 True. Being someone's sl is very poor, feel like always waiting for nothing.
 Feel so lost all the time

AA replied at 2011-11-26 11:37 am
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 bluedream2018 replied at 2011-11-25 3:12 pm
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 I think we have alot of lucky ladies joined this topic who has clear objective and knowing who they are really looking for as life time partner.
 My experience is a bit diffreent. I have a very good GF when we r in university and best sex partner any man can ask for. However, I think she is like what yvelala said she started to feel tired about the relationship and we broke-up. Since that we don't have any connection between n we live out life. Now I am very happy with my wife and glad I didn't married my 1st gf. If I did, may be I will be arguing with her all the time about money or things to enrich the lifestyle.
 ===============================================================
 
 You love your first GF or your wife more?
 May I share your worries?
 ===============================================================
 If u talk about love, I think I love my 1st gf more. However, she also hurt me the most so we r not longer connected. Right now, I only want my wife even though there r diff problem I am facing between us.