想要進步,大步邁步,昂首闊步,為前途鋪路,踏出第一步。



  • 要得到進步,請踏出第一步


    沒有詞彙支援,文章只能視為一般,更令想法難以完滿


    沒有興趣幫助,寫作令學生重重受挫,學生為寫作悶悶不樂


    沒有緊密結構,學生即使有精密構想,老師也嫌它不夠深長





    以下是範文:





    家人


    BY SECONDARY FIVE STUDENT (中五學生)



    欲留。


    卻走。





    先愁您所愁,


    先憂您的憂。


    為您苦索皺眉頭,


    卻永遠無所要求。





    您又可知否?


    不論白晝,為您的服務,總是無休。


    他可為您放棄所有。


    不定夏或冬,不分春與秋。


    您要穿新,他願穿舊。





    容我鬥膽提出數項疑問…


    傍徨時份,誰與您並肩,使你驅走昏暗、抖擻精神?


    失意清晨,誰又會苦口婆心,為您指引,充當苦海明燈?


    慶功凌晨,您相約知己良朋,誰會甘心在旁當個陪襯;


    於悶人夜深,還滴答滴答繞著時鐘苦等,待您回家,衷心慰問;


    遞上放涼的睡袍毛巾,讓您好好安枕?





    或許,您說不太可能。


    也許,您說這叫愚笨。


    甚至,您說聞所未聞。





    那個聞所未聞的笨人,


    實是給您最多的至親,他叫 - ┌家人┘。





    家人的心,永恆且永不變更,傻傻為您做出無盡的不可能。





    家人


    是明燈、是指引?


    抑或只為陪襯、只為裝飾品?





    不。





    家人,是愛您最深最深的至親。


    就這份緣份,這微妙的┌親┘;


    家人願意,送上無盡無限的恩。





    家人的愛,世代相傳。


    家人的愛,持續不斷。


    家人的愛,永遠常在。


    家人,原來傳承著最美麗、最動人的愛。





    愛您的人,原來很近。


    家人的心,永恆且永不變更。





    先憂您憂,樂解您愁;


    日夜晚晝,總是無休。


    他只希望,


    同樣作為家人的您,


    能為他作一刻逗留。





    家人,這就是家人





    欲走。


    卻留。








    金色 BY PRIMARY FIVE STUDENT (小五學生)





    金色,是璀璨奪目的顏色


    金色,但卻不是人人所能認識


    只要你稍為歇息


    金色,就不會成為一種屬於你的顏色





    金色,是人人所渴求


    渴求,並不代表你會擁有


    擁有,要不斷的付出和追求


    追求,理想生活的所有





    金光奪目,成為潮流的焦點


    令人注目;


    色彩繽紛,體驗世界的氣氛


    心情滿分


    金色,令你不用看人臉色,


    而且可以大顯神色,創造奇蹟





    金色,需要你的努力


    在你的領域全力去尋覓


    也許這條路會崎嶇不直、痛苦孤寂


    但也請你展出你的雙翼


    努力,尋覓你獨一無二的金色





    金色,是人人需要追求的顏色








    Heritage Preservation


    BY Secondary Seven Student (This wins the top 50 in a writing

    competition that wins an exchange trip)





    Public access = heritage assets.



    When I was three, my mother brought me to the Queen’s Pier. I was sitting in the baby car and watching the ferries and trees near. A beautiful sea view was here. At night, I looked up. Stars were sparkling and shimmering, wind was blowing and clouds were floating. This adorable and admirable place made me grin. Since then, my mother called me Queenie and I thought that Queen’s Pier was a present to me. My mother promised me that she would bring me here when I grow up. Now, I am eighteen. Queen’s Pier is disappeared and I am disappointed. I went there again but that little promise was put into an end. I looked down, seeing the water floats and then my dream grows. Heritage preservation becomes my dream to follow.





    Ring the bell, it’s time to tell.



    I think therefore I am. We are not the followers. We are the leaders, the future leaders and the future generations, who treasure and cherish our bright and brilliant future. David Lung, the Vice President of the China chapter of the International Council of Monuments and Sites (ICOMOS) said “Development may be the pumping heart of a city but heritage will always remain its soul.” One of the oldest graffiti artists in the world Tsang Tsou Choi, has been writing on the streets of Kowloon since he was 35 (in 1955). “The King of Kowloon” inherently and intrinsically shaped our property. This old man has strove and struggled for his life, walking with crutches and safeguarding his art work with his life-long path. Be the hero, be the role model. Heritage preservation is an antidote. We think therefore we are.





    (Skipped some of the paragraphs)



    The road of heritage preservation ahead is long, but it will never be wrong. The outlooks of the buildings are tangible and the intrinsic heritage values are intangible. The archaeological and ancestral halls in the New Territories and the traditional Wong Tai Sin Temple can and will be the tourist attractions for sightseeing in the long run. “Historical perspective is the first priority of a regional and cultural development.” said by Mr Bernard Charnwut Chan, the Chairperson of the Council for Sustainable Development. Heritage preservation should go for a long way and still has a long way to go. Although the road ahead is long, we still have to walk along.





    Effective measure = PRESERVE.



    No more Queen’s Pier, but everything still remains here. Now, I am eighteen. Walking along the spectacular sea view and looking up to the sky, stars are still gleaming and glittering with glee and gaiety, wind is still blowing and clouds are still floating. They are all smiling with hope and love. And I looked down, water floats and my dream shows. I believed that I will be the queen of my noble dream.





    專補中英通識,不論小學中學,中一還是中七,歡迎試堂


    不用一力承擔,背後有我支撐,


    教你轉繁為簡,讀書不再艱難,


    前路漫漫,不再孤單。


    為前途鋪路,踏出第一步。





    詳情請致電 97657233 Ally 劉小姐


    或email 至circle.mslau@gmail.com



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