如果而家既女朋友, 同我期望的妻子條件有比較大既出入, 咁大家認為應該點做?
有無問過你gf 的mr. right 同你條件又係咪好大出入呢?
只可惜她的壞習慣不少, 食煙飲酒不運動, 以致身體欠佳
if u dont love her, not going to marry her, then leave her, dont waste her time..how long have you been with her?
Thanks all for the replies.
prok: around 2.5 years
你都講得佢好差下喎, 咁你要同佢拍拖, 真係辛苦喇.
啊: 我講過佢係一個稱職的女朋友, 只不過上述的問題成為結婚的障礙而已
食煙飲酒不運動, 也不喜歡看書讀報, 文化方面的修養較少 ... 我在想, 結婚後她就是我子女的媽媽
Seems that you want to raise so kid, yes? But if find those habits are disgusting, then its time to put a halt.
You see, monkey see, monkey do. And you'll be on your own.
Viper: yes I would like to have a kid or two. That is a life-long plan and I need to be serious about it. It would be unfair to both my wife and children if I take it lightly. Thanks for your advice
Tell me. Do you think she can take care of you kids. And what would you feel if she smokes right in front of your kids?
Since your concern is being a "mom", it is, as you've said, a completely different things. Getting married is one thing, but having kids and raise them ... Man! I feel sorry for you, really.
And ... good luck. You really need it.
Viper: well i am pretty confident that she would not smoke in front of our kids. My concern is that she does not care about her physical health even though I have been asking her for over two years already. Avoid exercises and unwilling to participate in any activity under the sun (except during vacation).
And the other problem is that she has zero motivation to improve herself. I do not mind about her academic qualification but I guess one should keep learning and reading. I am extremely worried that the distance between us keeps getting wider and wider, to the point that it is no longer possible to have a meaningful discussion about anything. There will then be no choice but to divorce.
can i know you?
i like outdoor activities and i don't smoke
new gal, thanks for your reply. I appreciate your response but I believe that it would be much better for us to know about each other through conversation here. I am very interested to know your view about this as well.
in such case, you have to think of a good way to break up with her..
gal, I thought about doing that but I wondered if it's fair to her, and a "nice" way to break up with her seems to be non-existent in the world...
pls feel free to leave your msn
to some extend, it's kind of unfair to her, as she hasn't changed from the day you know her.. just that your 'requirement' has changed..
but still, if it's unsuitable, it's unsuitable...
as someone said before, she may also find you not suitable for her but stuggling, right?
do the right thing earlier..
Hi mid-aged, remember love someone is to amend yourself to adapt her lifestyle, never think to change another one to fit your mind/requirement... better let her go
I am sure you have made your decision but you need support only...
you know that even if you marry with her, you dare not to have kids and you will suffer from that then.. eventually, you will marry another lady.. right?
take the best option and minimize the hurts, to you or to her..
for sure, he's thinking of let her go.. just that he wants to get some better reasons and ways to do it.
you got not future with her..
if you are not prepared to get married or have a baby yet, you better find a younger gf 1st
if i m you, i would tell her the thing and let her choice
if she loves you and change, fine, u can marry with her
if she dun wanna change, u can straightly tell her you might find another gf for marriage and if she still wanna stay with you
there is no right or wrong in a relationship, she is just the way she was when you met her, it's just we all learn and letter ourselves through the journey to maturity, if she don't, it will only widen the gap in between and eventually the bridge of communication will be broken. when a couple stop communicating, it's time to go. or else you may choose to life your life with lies until you die
gal / sweetie: guess you are right. If tears cannot be avoided it's better to let her go. I have got my own reasons (though they may not be reasonable in her eyes). Rationally speaking, minimizing the damage to her seems to be the best thing to do.
Yeah I would like to know a good way to do it. Would be really grateful if you had any ideas.
new gal, well we may not have a future together but I do want her to have a good one. I am perfectly comfortable to be single if this relationship comes to an end so, no rush to look for another girl friend really
take care and cheer up
i have same problem too..
and the worse is my gf is 3 yrs older than me..
i am 29 now...
i know i won't marry her..but seems she love me so much..
why you guys ... ai...
Princess_B: this seems to be a good way to handle the matter - be honest with her and tell her my thoughts. Thanks very much for this.
awake: i like your phrase "or else you may choose to live your life with lies until you die". That's right, it will not do any good to any of us.
其實你講乜, 只要係分手, 只要係個女仔仲愛你... 佢都會好HURT..
就算佢話佢會改, 你都唔會信.. 咁講真又真係唔會咁易改..
easonfan: excellent question. Conflicts arise when two people come together and by then you know if those problems can be worked out or simply insurmountable.
I do not see that as a wrong decision. This is hopefully a process which both of us enjoyed and learned from it.
are you receiving stress from parents or what?
do they like your current gf?
gal, 江山易改本性難移, 現在信了。我從來不覺得她做錯了任何事，只不過大家的期望實在差得太遠，南轅北轍。
new gal, nope absolutely no stress from the parents, but I do not want to waste her time really. They do not have any opinion on her as far as I know.
i think habits and characters can be hardly changed...
you also may have some bad habits too...no one is perfect
try to talk to her seriously if you still love her
maybe she is also waiting you to dump her!!
結婚係人生大事, 一定要3思, 如覺得唔適合快d講清楚, 結婚後演變成離婚係最唔好既結局, god bless you!
similar case here, 都係未知點做...
版主, 其實你有無試過將你既想法同你女朋友傾? 如果無, 咁對個女仔好唔公平~~
你分手後, 同邊個一齊, 結果都會係一樣的,
唔食煙唔飲酒, 做運動又點? 一定可以教好仔女?
Miss OL, thanks for your reply
csls0518, yeah actually I kept talking to her about these throughout these years in a courteous way, but it's still quite disappointing I must say.
tomato, 如果佢心地唔好既話, 基本上我都唔會有咩顧慮。我想，兩個心地好的人不代表他們會有一個幸福的家庭。