如果而家既女朋友, 同我期望的妻子條件有比較大既出入, 咁大家認為應該點做?



  • 快到三十一歲, 她和我差唔多年紀

    假若只係拍拖, 又好像浪費了她既時間

    要分手, 又好像有點殘忍

    各位認為怎樣?



  • 你女友條件有咩問題?



  • 分手, 唔好浪費人家時間.



  • 有無問過你gf 的mr. right 同你條件又係咪好大出入呢?


    如係你都唔好浪費人時間囉



  • 以做女朋友而言, 她是稱職的.


    只可惜她的壞習慣不少, 食煙飲酒不運動, 以致身體欠佳


    也不喜歡看書讀報, 文化方面的修養較少





    我在想, 結婚後她就是我子女的媽媽


    和女朋友的身份大不相同





    雖然她和我認識的時候沒有很大的分別


    但我發現要改變她一點點也是近乎沒有可能的事..



  • if u dont love her, not going to marry her, then leave her, dont waste her time..how long have you been with her?



  • Thanks all for the replies.





    prok: around 2.5 years



  • 你都講得佢好差下喎, 咁你要同佢拍拖, 真係辛苦喇.



  • 啊: 我講過佢係一個稱職的女朋友, 只不過上述的問題成為結婚的障礙而已



  • 不如你講下佢既優點呀?



  • 食煙飲酒不運動, 也不喜歡看書讀報, 文化方面的修養較少 ... 我在想, 結婚後她就是我子女的媽媽





    Seems that you want to raise so kid, yes? But if find those habits are disgusting, then its time to put a halt.





    You see, monkey see, monkey do. And you'll be on your own.





    Good luck.




  • Viper: yes I would like to have a kid or two. That is a life-long plan and I need to be serious about it. It would be unfair to both my wife and children if I take it lightly. Thanks for your advice





    啊: 看得出她是頗愛我的。我在性格上的不足之處,她雖然間中有批評(尤其是當酒後吐真言之時),但大體而言她還會嘗試去接受,這應該是最大的優點。



  • Tell me. Do you think she can take care of you kids. And what would you feel if she smokes right in front of your kids?





    Since your concern is being a "mom", it is, as you've said, a completely different things. Getting married is one thing, but having kids and raise them ... Man! I feel sorry for you, really.





    And ... good luck. You really need it.





  • Viper: well i am pretty confident that she would not smoke in front of our kids. My concern is that she does not care about her physical health even though I have been asking her for over two years already. Avoid exercises and unwilling to participate in any activity under the sun (except during vacation).





    And the other problem is that she has zero motivation to improve herself. I do not mind about her academic qualification but I guess one should keep learning and reading. I am extremely worried that the distance between us keeps getting wider and wider, to the point that it is no longer possible to have a meaningful discussion about anything. There will then be no choice but to divorce.



  • can i know you?





    i like outdoor activities and i don't smoke





    U grad



  • new gal, thanks for your reply. I appreciate your response but I believe that it would be much better for us to know about each other through conversation here. I am very interested to know your view about this as well.



  • in such case, you have to think of a good way to break up with her..



  • gal, I thought about doing that but I wondered if it's fair to her, and a "nice" way to break up with her seems to be non-existent in the world...



  • pls feel free to leave your msn







  • to some extend, it's kind of unfair to her, as she hasn't changed from the day you know her.. just that your 'requirement' has changed..


    but still, if it's unsuitable, it's unsuitable...





    as someone said before, she may also find you not suitable for her but stuggling, right?





    do the right thing earlier..



  • Hi mid-aged, remember love someone is to amend yourself to adapt her lifestyle, never think to change another one to fit your mind/requirement... better let her go



  • I am sure you have made your decision but you need support only...





    you know that even if you marry with her, you dare not to have kids and you will suffer from that then.. eventually, you will marry another lady.. right?





    take the best option and minimize the hurts, to you or to her..



  • sweetie,


    for sure, he's thinking of let her go.. just that he wants to get some better reasons and ways to do it.




  • you got not future with her..





    if you are not prepared to get married or have a baby yet, you better find a younger gf 1st







  • if i m you, i would tell her the thing and let her choice


    if she loves you and change, fine, u can marry with her


    if she dun wanna change, u can straightly tell her you might find another gf for marriage and if she still wanna stay with you



  • there is no right or wrong in a relationship, she is just the way she was when you met her, it's just we all learn and letter ourselves through the journey to maturity, if she don't, it will only widen the gap in between and eventually the bridge of communication will be broken. when a couple stop communicating, it's time to go. or else you may choose to life your life with lies until you die



  • gal / sweetie: guess you are right. If tears cannot be avoided it's better to let her go. I have got my own reasons (though they may not be reasonable in her eyes). Rationally speaking, minimizing the damage to her seems to be the best thing to do.





    Yeah I would like to know a good way to do it. Would be really grateful if you had any ideas.








    new gal, well we may not have a future together but I do want her to have a good one. I am perfectly comfortable to be single if this relationship comes to an end so, no rush to look for another girl friend really



  • take care and cheer up



  • i have same problem too..


    and the worse is my gf is 3 yrs older than me..


    i am 29 now...


    i know i won't marry her..but seems she love me so much..



  • why you guys ... ai...




  • Princess_B: this seems to be a good way to handle the matter - be honest with her and tell her my thoughts. Thanks very much for this.





    awake: i like your phrase "or else you may choose to live your life with lies until you die". That's right, it will not do any good to any of us.



  • 咁點解當初你又要同人地一齊呢?



  • 其實你講乜, 只要係分手, 只要係個女仔仲愛你... 佢都會好HURT..


    不過, 長痛不如短痛..


    基本上你都諗曬.. 佢係唔再有機會...


    就算佢話佢會改, 你都唔會信.. 咁講真又真係唔會咁易改..



  • easonfan: excellent question. Conflicts arise when two people come together and by then you know if those problems can be worked out or simply insurmountable.





    I do not see that as a wrong decision. This is hopefully a process which both of us enjoyed and learned from it.



  • are you receiving stress from parents or what?





    do they like your current gf?



  • 咁分手吧.





    無謂拖拖拉拉



  • 你如果依家都已經發現佢有咁多"問題", 唔該你千期唔好同佢結婚.



  • gal, 江山易改本性難移, 現在信了。我從來不覺得她做錯了任何事,只不過大家的期望實在差得太遠,南轅北轍。





    new gal, nope absolutely no stress from the parents, but I do not want to waste her time really. They do not have any opinion on her as far as I know.



  • 板主,


    你係咪同女友同居緊呀?


    如果唔係, 應該易攪啲..



  • 你已經好清楚你自己0既去向, 其實已經無乜野好煩



  • i think habits and characters can be hardly changed...





    you also may have some bad habits too...no one is perfect





    try to talk to her seriously if you still love her



  • gal, 無同居緊。





    多謝各位意見,我會想想怎樣做才會最好。



  • 其實無人會答到你點樣先至係最好0既分手方法.. 因為無人知佢性格..


    受軟定受硬..


    只有你先知..



  • 你0既決定, 係會對對方有一定0既傷害性.





    咁就睇下你能唔能夠將個傷害性盡量減低



  • maybe she is also waiting you to dump her!!



  • 結婚係人生大事, 一定要3思, 如覺得唔適合快d講清楚, 結婚後演變成離婚係最唔好既結局, god bless you!



  • similar case here, 都係未知點做...




  • 版主, 其實你有無試過將你既想法同你女朋友傾? 如果無, 咁對個女仔好唔公平~~



  • 你最愛的只有你自己


    你分手後, 同邊個一齊, 結果都會係一樣的,


    因你太過計算





    唔食煙唔飲酒, 做運動又點? 一定可以教好仔女?


    食煙飲酒呢d壞習慣,大多女性想有仔女時, 都一定會戒的





    選老婆, 心地好已好足夠



  • Miss OL, thanks for your reply





    csls0518, yeah actually I kept talking to her about these throughout these years in a courteous way, but it's still quite disappointing I must say.





    tomato, 如果佢心地唔好既話, 基本上我都唔會有咩顧慮。我想,兩個心地好的人不代表他們會有一個幸福的家庭。


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