Cheating



  • I never been so down before....

    My wife and I married for 2 years now. I found out she had an affair when we were engaged, six month before we're getting married. I found a love letter written by the 3rd party, it was intimate, it hurt really bad.

    I confronted her, she was crying and say that she's sorry. I am really frustrated, I love her, but on the other hand, I really hate her for what she have done. I don't think I am angry enough to get into a divorce, but enough to upset me to hurt our relationship....

    Am I being up tight about something that happened long time ago, before our marriage? Deep down, I still love her and I want to forget about it, but everytime when I think of the guy kissing my wife, the hate and the anger gets to an uncontrollable level. What can I do?



  • 如果你真係愛她,或者原諒她一次啦



  • i don't understand, why you stil marry her?


    why can't you just postpond the wedding or cancel it?





    you already marry , why u are struggling now??



  • well... i dont think you can live with a cheater right now.


    just separate with her now, until you forget about the whole thing, or until you can accept her back, then move back.



  • bluegirl, he didnt know. only discovered it right now. if i get it right.



  • To make things worst, we just had a baby. It's easy to say just leave and come back when ready, but now that I have a family, I can't just leave as I wish.





    The incident happens before we're married, but I just found out.




  • 其實我覺得通常只有兩種做法,一種是為了bb.而繼續一齊,一種是趁bb未大過, 而分開左先...你自己覺得點



  • I know there is no perfect way to deal with this. I don't think I want to just leave the family, I want to solve this and try to put it behind us. But like I said, everytime when I think of it, I am very angry and don't want to see her face.





    What do you do to forgive someone that really hurt you bad? I found it nearly impossible to forgive someone, particularly your own love one cheated on you



  • I love her. To me, she's perfect, she's the best wife a man can get....I still can't believe this happens to me! I can't believe she's that kind of person.










  • 首先要放低成見啦,雖然好難做到, 但都需要點時間既,每個人都有錯,如果佢都知錯,你就原諒佢一次啦



  • I lost desire to be around with her. whenever I see her, I can't help to imagine the 3rd party. I love her for being such a great wife until now, and I hate her for cheated on me. When we sleep now, I can't have her hug me, I can't have sex, nothing is appealing anymore.





    If I have a choice, I would leave. But I don't, so I have to find a way to accept her again, to love again.... It's so hard, I don't know how to, but I have to.



  • bluegirl, he didnt know. only discovered it right now. if i get it right.





    by wee - 02/09/08 02:29








    oh ...ic..thanks....








    phisherman,





    yes, u can ...





    my ex had cheated on me too..and i could not forgive him at that time..so i chose to part... but now, i tell u, i forgive him already, if i could choose, i still want to get back to him now...





    if you really love someone, u could...but only that..... but u may need some times..





    i'll choose to leave... and seperate for a while first...if you two are meant to be together, eventutally would get back together...





    times can prove





    BUT the main point is...have to seperate and really think .... i don't think you can come up with any solution if you stay in this way...



  • Thanks Carrie....I want to do that, just nearly impossible at the moment







  • 我同意bluegirl所講,


    其實依家你地咁樣, 都唔似夫妻,只係勉強一齊, 不如暫時分開下,大家好一點, 你又可以睇下自己係咪真係仲需要佢, 如果已經無感覺, 咁都無謂一齊



  • Thanks Bluegirl, I really have to think this over. It's taking hold of my life, I can't work or think, it's driving me crazy.



  • 唔唔,,你依家其實有點恨佢,其實真係唔見佢一排會好d



  • you have responsibility to take care the baby, but you don't have to stay becoz of this...


    --------------


    " If I have a choice, I would leave. "


    ---------------





    that means, if leave aside the baby, you just said you would leave.





    so that's the ANSWER!!!





    if i were you, leave now. i don't ask you to file divorce, i just ask you to leave...


    and seperate with your wife first....


    ask someone to take care your wife for you... but you have to step out first...





    only back to her after you have think clear..




  • 你發現個刻點解唔先唸清楚係咪繼續結婚?


    事情已經發生左2年半了, 呢2年半你地既關係點? (你對佢, 佢對你)


    我相信都唔會太差, 起碼你地岩岩亦有左BB.


    大家都唔細了,有BB係意外?


    正如carrie 所講, 既然自己係愛佢, 點解唔能夠俾佢一個機會, 俾大家一次機會, 過去已經過去左, 你地仲有幾十年要一齊渡過, 你敢擔保你唔會犯錯, 如果佢到時能夠原諒你, 你會希望佢把口話原諒你但其實她永遠放條刺係心度嗎?







  • From you, the outsider point of view, am I being unreasonable? This incident happened before we get married, but while we're engaged (6 months from wedding). She said she hasn't seen that person since we're married, and it has been 2 1/2 years, it's just that I just found out about this.... Am I being unreasonable about something that happens before we're married?



  • 我覺得又唔係唔理智既,你只係信佢,...我覺得過去既野.唔駛再講,最緊要係睇依家..你是否仍然鐘意佢,係咪會包容到佢既錯.


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