我對太太要求好高咩?



  • 我要打兩份工, 又要讀書, 想個太太平時 handle 家頭細務, 佢都唔多願做, 話佢又話我同佢嘈,  佢又唔係人品差, 只係佢唔想做時, 點都唔做, 好幾個月都唔拾屋, 今晚, 終於又忍唔住話即, 搞到大家都好傷心, 想分開算, 應該嗎???



  • How old are u and your wife?



  • We are both 35..



  • 32, both already mature, sure can settle it, not need seruius until "separate".





    Got childeren?



  • no child, she cannot accept any blame.. I really don't know what can I do. Everything I need to handle, even downloading songs, videos and copy it to a mp3 for her to use, but.. she don't want to learn how to use a mp3, always wasted my effort, I really disappointed.



  • 如果只係家務的問題


    可以找個鐘點去做


    但妳們的問題看似係佢唔為妳諗


    妳咁辛苦都唔體諒妳



  • She said she don't want to do the things, and what she can do is to ask me sleep early, I know she really care me, but just don't do anything.. even learn something to help..



  • how long u n her married? If she is this attitudem then u can try get a 找個鐘點去做 . I think this is a good for u all.





    If 分開, 搞到大家都好傷心 ,何苦呢?




  • we are married over 10 yrs la, sometimes I really want a match woman



  • 憭芸雲?��?餈�撌�, ?�隞�銵典?甇∪?摰嗅?,


    憟賢?憟喃犖?嗅祕?賢??暹??�摰�??


    撠文��?��?甇∪��������?嗉�芸楛�?摰嗅滬銝餃岫??


    閬箏??�摰�?�憟�?�隞�..





    ?�撌�?W?瘞? 憭批振?���∩�? />




  • match a woman for ons?





    for release your pressure?



  • sorry mimi, I cannot see your wordings.



  • Foo_muyo, ons? it cannot solve the problem, although I want, maybe it is good.....



  • ons = one night stand



  • 女人唔係喜歡清潔架咩.?? 點解會咁.. 佢口話想幫輕我.但結果, 佢經常輕佢既屋企人, 而唔係我同佢既屋企..有不滿只會叫我呑左佢..



  • Foo_muyo, I know ah, ons, men always like ah..



  • married 10yr is not easy to get it.


    or maybe u both get a child, woman after get a baby, is more care the house.



  • 我知自已皮氣有時差左.. 但都係好忍唔住, 咁多日都見係咁先話佢幾句...... 家下都唔知點, 今次嘈得太彊...



  • I also want to have a child, so want to change the economic status, so hard to start from scratch, but the return is ... like now..



  • Anyway I think if I am smart enough, the problem will not happen



  • Confused, may i know if your wife also need to work outside?



  • yes, she also needs to work, so normally I just let her rest and see TV after she back home. What I asked her to do sometimes(I think 1-2 times in a month) is to clear her things, write a letter for me, or learn how to use the mp3 I bought for her) :(



  • confused





    can u tell us more about youor wife? what is her job and was she ever like this? anything drastic happened to her recently? have u ever talked to her about this problem and what your concerns are?







  • confused





    from just what you described, seems like you dont understand her as much. What you want is YOUR OWN PERSONAL thinking, maybe she deosnt like listening to mp3, maybe she wants you to spend more time with her instead of making more money, maybe she is not happy with her job and she has no hopes about life which makes people trying to escape from the world and use watch tv or lazy to stay away from reality.




  • Confused, i think i have the same situation with your wife, i just get married and no children, and need to work, and i don't do housework. Luckily my husband has hire maid to do the work, so we hardly has arguement on this. Do u think you maybe too hardworking? as you have 2 jobs, maybe your expectation is too high and you think your value is much better then others? And your advise and care maybe become other's burden? Sorry to say that way, but i'm just curious how can you both stay 10 years if always argue?



  • Hi Therapist, seems you and me has same thought, are u a girl?



  • Thanks Mable, I did 2 jobs coz the 1st one cannot give me any prospect and payment again, 應該話個行巳經無前景, so I started another field.


    We still together cause we both don't want to separate..



  • mable





    i think so, but need to get more information from confused first......





    everyone's value is different, he thinks he spend so much time and effort is to give her a better life, but maybe she doesnt understand, the key thing is communication, if you dont let her know, get her involve, encourage her to be part if the "life improvement plan", i am sure she will change, It is all depends how you communicate with her




  • Confused, i understand your feeling, because i think you very look like my mother, have same character, you always want your family has good future, good living standard, so you work very hard, have high standard for yourself and people arround you, i think maybe because your wife (maybe) is a more absent minded person, so she like to stay with you because she feel that you can take care of her, and on the otherhand you like to protect her. However, since you both has extreme character, so sometimes cannot match, is that correct?



  • Therapist, she loves songs, she claims there is no new songs to listen, so I search and made for her, and I also try to teach her to know how to search and download, so that she can find her favorites. She is very happy with her current job coz her previous job is so tight and unhappy. I have tried to go outside with her every Sat/Sun, at night time I will stay besides her and then I start my own study after she felt asleep.



  • That is why I always ask why couple need to get married without childen. Well, men always feel confused while wife not doing her duties.



  • Mable, maybe you are right, we have different view on how to care the other.



  • confused





    just one question, have you ever thought you you have 縱壞佢from day one when she was a little girl and now u think she never grown up?







  • therapist, yes, I have that thinking, and she also said she like that, she has more and more dependent on me and she think I can do all the thing for her.



  • Eric, I don't mind to do the duties the same time with her, just sometimes when she is looking at me and behaves like she is helpless to me, I will think something and asked her for help, but seems the thing she don't want to do..



  • confused





    she is now still a little girl which was part of your fault, and n ow you blamed her for not growing up and help you out. Lets put it this way, you really need a nice chat with her, tell her how your feel, and let her know the whole family need her very much, dont say negative word and blame her. Tell her without her support, you cannot make it better. Get her involve and say "無你我唔惦" People are always tend to be lazy if someone can take care of everything.





    Tell uhonestly, i used to be someone like your wife, but unluckily we broke up without good chat, and now i realized how wrong we were, and i dont want this happen again to others.



  • Confused, i think i start to know your feeling la, in the past, maybe you both enjoy taking care and being taken care by each other, but gradually you want your wife to be more independent (and more value added), is that correct? But can you tell that if one day your wife don't need you anymore, she can be totally independent, will you think "something" is missing? In my situation, my husband don't want me to be a "Talent" girl, because if i'm too smart, he lost his "big man" feel and sense of superiority.



  • 其實每個人都應對婚姻,工作有危機感,唔係話要離婚,但夫婦都一定不可以離婚,誰會去努力





    正如一份不會炒工作,誰會努力做



  • therapist, sorry to hear your thing, and thanks for your advice.. Actually I have tried to tell her what your said but seems not help much.. I will try my best la, thanks a lot.



  • Hi Therapist, sorry to hear your story, are you single now? Or you still with your husband? In the future, what kind of guy you think you can be best matched with?



  • Mable, I want her to be smarter because she claimed she felt friends or colleagues around are more and more smarter than her, but she just forgot those thing easily until she met the same feeling again, so I push her sometimes..



  • Eric, your word is quite right, maybe i should have 危機感 too, in fact my husband and his family want me to have baby, but seems that i don't want yet, i'm afraid they'll gradually don't like me... /..\



  • yes Mable, you have to take special care for this, we cannot control others' thinking.



  • mable





    someone positive about life and share the same vision!




  • 我三十八歲,我地呢代女人同阿媽果代唔同,阿媽果代以老公為主,自己為副,有上司下屬關係o但今天夫婦應似合夥人多一點



  • Mable





    Do you want to have baby yourself ?



  • Confused, um...seems that every family has their own problem, maybe because everybody has different "Role" in the society and the "role" may change in different point of our lives, we should try to fulfil our duty (just like you as a husband need to earn a living), i guess finally i need to have baby la, maybe next year la. For your case, I agree with Eric and Thearapist that you need to get your wife more involve, and if finally it doesn't work out, you should follow your feeling, and try separate, as this maybe a starting point that your wife began to be motivated to make progress on her life.



  • Mable,





    I completely agree with you. Confused should do something,e.g. move to your parent for 2 weeks to let his wife understands the situation



  • Eric, are you girl too? I doesn't want baby, because i grown up in single-parent family, so i feel that my mum work very hard to raise us up. But my husband is very rich start from he born to world, so he has very positive view towards a family, i'm also afraid this could be a problem, luckily until now he still love me. But anyway i also need to have 危機感



  • Mable,





    I am male. What is your age ?


login to reply
 

looks like your connection to she.com messageboard was lost, please wait while we try to reconnect.