婚外情

你懷著BB的時候,他就對你不忠,不僅傷害了你, 也影響到下一代,所以我覺得你憎恨他是應該的, 男人總以千萬個理由來解釋自己的錯誤, 尤其喜歡推卸責任, 實在是要不得.

miiiiiii

人唔會咁容易有勇氣承認己既離軌(我唔敢講錯, 因為無愛仲留低, 對我都好殘忍)

我當日都俾佢指話我一切缺點

可能我真係咁差吧~

但, 我無嬲佢, 真係無嬲, 無愛自然無包容, 相處唔到無話錯唔錯, 有第三者係佢既選擇, 日後點樣, 與人與我無尤

但, 佢對我既傷害, 永留我心, 抹不掉, 無辦法原諒佢係真既, 不過唔會嬲, 唔會恨, 因為我唔想自己唔開心. 我....一個心願, 以後不要再見就是了!

佢對兒女既責任, 不在我控制範圍, 佢唔做我無辦法.

反而....呢樣先係我最嬲佢既地方.

紫羅蘭

平心靜氣!

我都係到決定離婚先講俾屋企人聽, 免佢哋擔心

你有乜事, 上黎講吓啦, 我哋無咩幫到你, 但至少有對眼睇你想講咩嘛~ XDDD

miiiiii

我"好"不了你幾多, 我坐完月佢出軌~ 可笑!!

以後我會常常上來這裡, 發洩一下情感, 謝謝你. Tulip

不客氣

我自己都係喺度知真理, 我識到班好有智慧既女人. 佢哋教我好多嘢 (但佢哋依家好少上黎lu~)

希望你喺無處申訴之時, 黎呢度有少少安慰(至少....慘既唔係得你一個吧!)

我都會bookmark呢條thread, 幫你打打氣都好嘛~ =)

如果佢俾到舒適生活俾你~對你仲好似對老婆咁..

如果係我..我會繼續同佢一齊~

若果你可照顧自己,唔想忍受佢既不忠..咁你就走啦~

my life was like a happy garden with everyone loved me and and with the good news of twin boy and girl...everyone was so happy for our family...and we have no financial problem at all...we were both professionals...He was my first boyfriend that we encountered in college...And he chose to forsake me and our history...He ruined children and my life. I believe I would never be happy again. Blue life forever.

miiiiii

一個開心既媽咪, 佢既仔女先會懂得快樂

另方面睇, 好彩仔女仲細佢離開, 如果10歲8歲先走, 仔女仲難接受, 可能會變得好反叛

我果對, 依家都唔會提"爸爸", 因為"爸爸"對佢哋生活生命全無影響, 只要你俾正面影響佢哋, 佢哋一樣會好快樂~

人唔可以成日係順境, 當環境唔如意, 唔開心時, 試吓做d令自己開心既事, 心情會好好多~

就算俾佢繼續同你一齊, 你快樂嗎?

學懂放低, 個心會釋懷好多

有無睇溏心風暴?

回味吓大契既說話, 學懂好多

我好笨, 3x歲先開竅, 先開始學做人. 但我相信我會趕得上, 希望在明天! 你都係! =)

our of side=our of mind 起碼佢都識返屋企...

睇開d吧~

我都有差不多的情況，我選擇同我老公再傾，我亦見他正在做一些彌補的動作，我們現在在一個互相修補的階段，我希望能夠挨過。其實我跟我老公都到了離婚的地步，只是我們不約而同都希望再試一次才會維持到現在。你個情況，我覺得既然沒有小孩而你又有一份穩定的工作，我會選擇分開。四十不是太大年紀，我也跟你差不多。有時人到絕境時是需要一些改變；你可能能從中得到一些啟發。如他真不再愛你，你留住又有何用！

Tulip

Thanks a lot for your advice and encouragement.

i have been thinking all these times as to what and how to tell babies about why father is not living with us when they grow to understand things.

His brothers and parents are both on my side, they are doing lots of things to help taking care of me and babies on behalf of him...They all hope that we could rebuild our relationship which I believe are not probable.

I could not forgive and forget his unloyalty to me and babies. I could not think like you. Maybe I am a stubborn person and in fact, a perfectionist.

I am 38 now. Staying at home taking care with babies with a maid. If not taking care of babies, I could make good income for us. Now, he still pay for our living which I hate. But his family insisted that he should do that.

唔好旨意男人會俾錢養到你老

好少男人可以堅持

佢唔同你生活, 見唔到你等錢使, 佢會以為你都唔等錢使

我追錢追到無哂尊嚴, 我當初都以為佢會一路俾, 因為佢哋係佢孩子嘛~ 但原來, 當佢自己有頭家, 有另外孩子時, 個餅唔夠分, 就會分佢唔再愛個舊, 收返黎自己用

記住, 真係要離婚, 一定一定要算清楚, 白紙黑字列明佢要俾幾多, 唔好同佢講恩情道義, 恩情道義喺佢離開你時, 你已經還清.

你唔保護自己同仔女, 無人會幫到你...

有人話, 男人出軌既罪疚感, 只維持3年, 3年後佢咩都唔忘記, 我啱啱好2.5年. 佢已經唔想斷我糧喇~

佢家人, 做到朋友固然好, 但都唔好太依賴

我以前都同佢家人好好關係, 但日子耐咗, 大家會淡忘你既痛, 好似當沒事一樣, 唔會再俾advantage你

當然我唔係叫你斷六親, 但交情之餘, 一定要先保陣自己同仔女果份

錢同朋友, 要黎傍身, 祝你好運~ =)

睇得越多, 好似越驚, 男人個個都係咁衰.....

好同情你地gei situation..

我同老公差d都攪到離婚, 不過endup都無, 但關係時好時差,

我都唔知會點, 內心爭鬥左好耐, 有時又好想一走了之,

有時又會想起d回憶, 令我鹹好耐.... 件事都成年了, 成年無真正開心過,

好29yrs, 未有bb, 結婚3年... 好多人都叫我走..但我都係choose 左stay,

因為我心軟, 覺得老公仲愛我的,

其實我老公同個女人無野了, 只係有少少contact, 我成日唔信佢, check,

我都control 唔到我自己, 好想知, 知道左又唔開心, 又忍唔到同佢argue....

好煩.... 點解d 男人咁衰...

我唔想生bb住, 我唔想帶個生命來受苦,

我都唔知點解我唔想離婚... 可能我都係個d好想婚姻係一生一世的, 不過.....

有時都覺得自己好傻, 點解我要咁對自己呢... 唉...

到你既愛cover唔到佢對你既殘忍, 你自然會走...大家都想試自己底線而已

I dont know what to do next. He said he still need a hole to hide. He said he didnt want to answer when I asked him whether he would eventually come back to the family. He said he was still confusing. What does that mean? Does that mean he had already given an answer?

講真, 男人係會比較花心, 好多時會一個心但同時可以鐘意幾樣野, 包括女人, 車, 屋企人, 仔女, 事業, 愛好, 只係將時間同專注力放在不同位置, 有男人可以同時愛上以上各樣野, 但亦可以同時愛上幾個女人, 只可以講, 男人同女人既構造不同, 思想各異, 雖然唔可以做借口, 但呢個係一個事實。

紫蘿蘭, 我係你就會選擇離婚, 既然你經濟獨立又無仔女, 其實離婚並不是壞事, 因為根本無後故之憂, 40 歲, 雖然人生過了一半, 但仲有一半人生未過, 何必迫自己餘下 40 年都要活在不開心的環境下? 點解唔可以好好愛惜自己? 讓未來 40 年更開心? 何必迫自己為著呢個男人而放棄自己既有o既一切?

micmic1003

原來呢個好世界好多用情不專o既男人.......

some men 用情不專, but it's the same for women as well.

sometimes, 婚外情happens, it's the responsibilities of both parties, not only men's problem.

未必一定係男人錯．．．．．．可能本身雙方都有問題，但男人有問題時唔會去了解，而o係出面搵第二d野發洩，通常婚外情就係咁樣開始．．．．．．

i agree with you, micmic.

沒有小孩是你不幸中的大幸．雖然己年四十，但仍可重新開始．既然他己對你無愛，倒不如和平分手，大家都好．

in nowadays, it's still the perception that men must be wrong when affair happens, women never think of their problems. so that's the problem lor.

傷心的紫羅蘭, i don't mean you have problems, i just said it in general.

and i agree with hungrycat, separate peacefully and start your new life as soon as possible. the best way to treat yourself good is to "live better than him".

傷心的紫羅蘭, 好同情你的遭遇, 亦都明白你一定有著心如刀割的心情. 我身邊的朋友好多都經力梗類似的問題, 綜合咁多個case, 我只可以講, 男人同女人的心理同生理結構係完全唔同, 我地做女人, 唯一可以做的, 就係主宰自己的生活同生命; 當呢d事情發生的時候, 要及時作出決定, 唔好比自己心理同生理上再受影嚮. 心理的影响就係同佢仲住埋同一間屋, 但係成日覺得有人打電話比佢, send sms比佢; 生理影响就係, 因為長期唔開心, 個人越唻越殘, 到時點化�蛦ㄤL用.

我都明白, 要離婚係好難的決定; 如果你經濟許可, 可唔可以自己一個人搬開一排, 等自己過下無左佢的生活; 其實好多野都係講習慣, 或者你好享受自己一個人的生活呢!?

各位, 雖然我無你地所面對緊o既問題, 不過千萬唔好因為年齡, 仔女, 金錢問題而強迫自己過一d唔開心o既生活, 實在有好多方法去解決以上o既問題, 但係為左一個花心而又唔知悔改o既男人, 只會令到自己永遠過非人生活.

我有一位好朋友, 已經40, 有仔女, 外表看上去已不年輕, 但係佢都堅強咁選擇離婚, 現在o既佢同幾年前o既分別好大, 人開心左, 而且再開始拍拖, 所以世事冇絕對, 希望在明天呀!

希望在明天呀!

傷心的紫羅蘭

無須沮喪! 妳有穩定工作, 有獨立能力.更何況40歲, 在現今的社會來看, 絕不是年華老去的歲數. 至於如何選擇和妳丈夫分開與否. 就看他對妳如何. 自己做個堅定的決定吧

miiiiii

Don't be sad! Be a Strong mother. Just to think how will better on tomorow and your twins

Don't sad la. 40 ages is not very old and then too many men not mind gf is older then him, they like mature lady more. No kids is good for you! Take care! Give me more chg.

睇到呢個post, 雖然唔係我自己, 但係我既父母就係呢個例子, 發生既時候, 我同細佬已經f.5畢業, 開頭我都以為父母分開左, 對我冇咩影響, 但係原來唔係咁. 我同我男友已經一齊住, 但係亦都遲遲唔想結婚, 因為我覺得佢比唔到安全感我, 與其會離婚, 不如唔好結.

well, cohab is not the way out

我覺得離開一個自己好愛的人, 是需要好多好多勇氣, 更加怕離開之後, 自己生活不到下去, 無論在心靈上/財政上.

事實上, 繼續和他一齊, 好像每一日都怕他隨時會傷害自己.... 還有幾十年要過呀. 我寧願選擇捱苦去養活子女, 好過被他傷害一次又一次!

Hi guys

I dediate a song for you all, from the TV show:

My love will get you home

If you wander off too far, my love will get you home

　　if you follow the alone star, my love will get you homey

　　if you ever find yourself losing long alone, get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home, boy, my love will get you home

　　if the bright lights blind your eyes, my love will get you home

　　if your troubles break your strike, my love will get you home

　　if you ever find yourself losing long alone, get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home, boy, my love will get you home

　　if you ever feel ashamed, my love will get you home

　　whenever is only you too blame, my love will get you home

　　if you ever find yourself losing long alone, get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home, boy, my love will get you home

　　if you ever find yourself losing long alone, get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home, boy, my love will get you home, boy, my love will get you home

by ling - 06/03/07 18:13

ling

但有d人仍會質疑個女人係咪硬頸, 因為自己有經濟能力而唔為仔女有個完整的家著想, 而選擇離婚. 所以我都有諗我係咪要忍下去?! 究竟我有無做錯? 咩叫為仔女好? 我搞不清...

振作呀

放風箏...

Be strong, i also have same case, i don't know how to do, no trust, he always complaints abt me and shift all responsibility to me, the girl call my cell phone time to time, at least 3 years ar, how to tolerate, he asked me change my cell phone number, why, why should I aviod her, it is not my false, he brought her many expensive things, how abt me, I have a daughter with him, who care abt me, no time, no $ and no heart. I have no hope but I need to to strong because I have a daughter, sometime I think if I died my daughter will become lonely, I really want to deliver another baby but no financal support and no confident

發生了外遇之後, 晚上的時間很漫長, 我開始酗酒, 這是一個大的問題,再者, 我身邊的朋友很少, 常常都是一個人,今早我躺在床上, 不想起床, 不想上班, 不想吃東西, 當然我無意去推卸一部份的責任, 只是對於一個女人來說, 這個影響力是巨大的, 現在感到很孤單.

其實有甚麼方法可以令到自己不覺得孤單,有時候會去做運動, 寫blog,看書, 但是寂寞的感覺卻揮之不去.

紫蘿蘭

等男人比無男人仲寂寞

愛自己多d, 你自會快樂起來

ii

加油呀! 你個女好需要你架~

"其實有甚麼方法可以令到自己不覺得孤單"

meet more new friends and hang around with them, it's always good to have friends accompany you, it's the most important.

Tulip, 明天下班之後, 我會去學興趣班, 也許把精神放在其它的地方, 我會好過一點.

Man, 我不是社交的活躍份子, 故此很難認識到新的朋友,相信除非上教會, 不然機會相對地渺茫.

ii, be brave and strong, your daughter needs you.

雨過就天晴, 希望在明天呀!

傷心的紫羅蘭, no need to be 社交的活躍份子. The most important thing is to open up yourself. Join interest class is also the way to make new friends or you can make friends in she.com as well, just a platform, right?

when i was in the difficult time one year ago, I made some friends here and they helped me out from it chatting, hanging around. so don't be upset, you will be overcome this, but may take some time. You can do it, ok?

ii, 我很明白你的情況, 其實改了家裡的電話號碼比較好, 起碼不會對你的女兒造成滋擾, 男人一腳踏兩船, 世間上沒有免費的午餐, 他必定要付出沉重的代價.

係呀, 參加d興趣, 有得玩有得傾, 如果好彩學啱門搵錢手藝, 仲可以自立問戶賺錢添~ 幾好呀~

脫離令你寂寞既"嘢", 好快就唔寂寞...

女人... 錢+朋友, 一樣都不能少

兩樣都係要趁後生儲定多d. =)

同意, ii, 改咗一了百了. 唔係話邊個做啱做錯, 邊個要避邊個, 而係當貼錢送溫神.

有d女人win要win到盡, 咩彩都要攞足先安樂...唔知咩心態.

看到大家的鼓勵, 心裡很感動, 亦謝謝分享彼此的故事, 其實現在你們都是我的朋友了, 我很希望可以一小步, 一小步的前進.

係架, 現實生活少朋友都可以上網同人傾吓, 至少心情得到少少安慰.

我果時, 太煩太傷, 日日上網傾, 對住個mon喊餐死. 好快無事~~~

傷心的紫羅蘭

I've been through similar experience 3 years ago. And I decided to stop the pain and stepped out from the shxt.

It's not been easy, but once you start to step out, you will realize that the world outside is prettier.

What's worse then getting stuck in such shxtty situation? Having no man is not the worst, having NO LIFE is!

So, be brave. Do not get stuck!!!

傷心的紫羅蘭, you can walk out from the difficult time very soon, as you already make your first step to share your story and talk with us. it's much better for those 鑽牛角尖.

tulip, "當貼錢送溫神"...what a good point!!