Why most HK girls think their future husbands should support them?



  • I came back from the US and many of my married couple friends are treating their finances independently.

    I was surprised to hear from many girls in HK that they assume once they marry rich enough men, they'll quit working and act like a "Siu Lai Lai". They believe going to spa and spend tons of money on slim programs to make themselves look pretty is what their men want. 

    I asked many male friends, they are all disappointed that most HK girls lack the "essential skills to be a good wife" such as know how to cook, know how to take care of kids, know how to get along with their parents, etc.

    Why HK girls think their husbands should support them when they make no effort to acquire the essential skills to be a decent wives? An why they complain about HK men when they're equally no good?



  • If you prefer the american way, why dont you marry an american?



    Isnt it true that men want pretty women?



    And are you talking as a hk man, or an outsider?



  • well,



    I hate to generalize things but I just can't help notice HK girls' contradiction.

    On one hand, they want to be treated as traditional wives and have all the privileges (support from husbands).

    On the other hand, they want to choose only westernized culture that appeal to them, and ignore all the good traditional Chinese values: cook for husbands, take care of elder parents and kids, etc.

    But my point is, many girls complain to me not able to find quality men to be their husbands, but they never look at themselves in the mirror and try to "improve" their inner beauty. They think that their husbands love them because of their superficial beauty and look.

    So sad: even Filipino maids know how to cook and clean.



  • 好開心,見到你呢個二世袓返來,因為呢度近排好悶,對於你上面的問題,我答唔倒你,因為我冇咁既心態,actually我覺得徐子琪好可悲,俾人當生仔機器,可以幫我一個忙嗎? 你張相好blurry, 好礙眼, 換了它~



  • i think it's a fair deal if u want yr wife serve u better, and u need to provide more...... nowadays marriage seems not a relationship, it's a deal.......

    but also another real in Hk is, woman may earn more than man



  • hkgal



    "好開心,見到你呢個二世袓返來,因為呢度近排好悶 " ..... agree x 1000000



    "你張相好blurry, 好礙眼, 換了它~" .........這是 taste 的問題, 無計



  • hk gal,



    sorry I can't change my picture. I look too handsome in that picture and all my gfs like my new look.



    Ray,

    I admit some HK women earn a lot more. But their mentality is that if they marry a rich guy, they want to quit their jobs. I don't understand that mentality unless those high earning women indeed have the skills to devote to their families as traditional Chinese wives.



  • 香港女人一向都係

    講權利就要男女平等

    講義務就男人應該有風度



  • 我唔敢全部女仔都係咁

    不過真係好多都係

    有著數時就一定要男女平等

    要額外付出時就應該係男人既責任



  • Thread Master: are you married? do you have a wife who you described as traditional chinese woman?



  • Federic



    "good traditional Chinese values: cook for husbands, take care of elder parents and kids, etc. "

    ========> 我覺得做得人太太, 無論中西輀應該具備



  • 呢個係利字當既社會造成既問題。

    用最少的付出,換取最大既回報。



  • kind of agree with you, Fed, and be careful not to generalize every gal and turn this into a big debate, you are right.



    the thing is, a lot of HK gal think they are "superior" than the guys and they are entitled to enjoy the privileges and "be supported" by the guys, and sadly, they take these for granted.



    on the other hand, HK guys, for some reason, don't want to offend their girlfriends and keep them spoiled. I kind of like the real independent thinking of western girls, but of course they are more opinionated.



    by the way, not many girls can cook nowadays, and the worst is that the kids are being raised by the filipinos...



  • 而且最大的問係,男人都愛搵美女,好似搵到越靚既就越叻,變成好似女人最大的本錢就係外表既美麗一樣。



  • Guys, dont be so disappointed with HK gals~~ I admit that some of HK gals have this kind of mind~ but I belives that not at all~~



    Even such mind is not only on HK gals jei... pls be more open mind!!



  • 小Mie replied @ 2008-04-14 1:20 pm

    Federic

    "good traditional Chinese values: cook for husbands, take care of elder parents and kids, etc. "

    ========> 我覺得做得人太太, 無論中西輀應該具備



    Glad to hear that you share my sentiment. May be I'm a 二世袓. Many of my gfs don't think I need a woman who loves cooking and cleaning, and these are Filipino maids' duties if they marry me. They said cooking and cleaning will "damage" their smooth skin and I won't love them anymore if they have rough hands and not so pretty face when all the oils evaporated from cooking will destroy the result from an expensive facial treatment.

    Frankly, I care less if their hand skin is smooth nor if they had an expensive facial before they date me.



  • after all, you will get bored with a girl 2-3 years if beauty is her only possession



  • The coins always have 2 sides. As you suggested, HK gal are superficial; because the enviornment allow them.



    Who doesn't want to be less chores. Everybody wants a easy way out. If a domestic maid will do all the work for HK$3000+, why bother to work ourselves out?



    The girls want to be "Siu 99" because that's the easiest and comfortable they perceived. Let there be no true love. Not just HK girls, isn't "gold digger" a word stem from westerner?



    I have seen wifes that are putting effort to become a better wife. Not all HK gals are what you described. It is not fair. But I have also see cases where HK gals are very materialistic and superficial.



    They get what they bargain for, if they are materialistic and superficial, let them be. Those men who buy them are as materialistic and superficial as well.



    A sincere girl will eventually attracted a sincere guy.



    Don't you think?







  • Don't blame it on the ladies, blame it on the culture and the corruption by the media where gossip sells like candy bars.



    7 deadly sins -Lust, Gluttony, Sloth, Greed, Wrath, Envy and Pride.



    Now tell me if most if not all of these human pleasures of sins are not promoted by the general public in hk. Unrealistic Penthouses, brandname desinger labels, top notch restaruants, abusive maid servics, quick money on stock exhanges, bus uncle, the haves and have nots. All of these are somehow related to the above sins and children are raised that way following the paths of their parents and learning from the value of this demented cultural norm.



    You want the best of both worlds? find an ABC and you would fare a better chance. In the meantime, it's counter productive to whine.



  • Federic, 我覺得你唔係幾老實囉。其實,要識呢d人並唔難搵囉。



  • agree



    actually the real siu 99 in HK are the ones who hadn't thought about that, the ones that are hardworking and down to earth, and their husband appreciate that



    while those "dreamers", yes, some of them may have dreams come true, but some of them got lost at along the way...sadly..



  • 女人 replied @ 2008-04-14 1:24 pm



    而且最大的問係,男人都愛搵美女,好似搵到越靚既就越叻,變成好似女人最大的本錢就係外表既美麗一樣。

    =======================================================================



    Agree men love pretty women. But as lovers and for sex, but not as wives.

    When you look at most rich guys' wives, they're not that pretty but they have class and inner beauty. Most HK girls don't know what attract rich HK men. I just want to correct that misconception here. Rich men don't look for external beauty alone.



    replied - agree with you 100%. That's why I did not generalize this topic and use "most HK girls" instead of "all HK girls". Glad to see that yu are one of the exception and a breath of fresh air.



  • barbie - I don't blame anyone. Just said my opinion based on my observation. But I know 99.99% of the time you disagree with my view :-)



    女人, I'm not looking for a wife. So I can put up with superficial qualities of some of my gfs. However, some of my gfs are also good girls with very good qualities who may not deserve to be my gfs.



  • Federic,



    I have heard a story when I'm a child, let share with you here



    有一位富甲一方嘅王子,發通知俾附近嘅國家,通知佢哋佢要娶王妃,唯一嘅條件就係要有漂亮嘅雙手。所有嘅女孩聽到後,個個都想辦法另自己雙手又白又滑,但王子最後選咗個對手粗糙嘅女仔。因為王子覺得漂亮嘅雙手係要有佢嘅存在價值同佢嘅用處。



  • 小Mie,



    Thank you for the nice story. However, I'm (1) not a prince (2) not looking for a pair of smooth hands (3) I can use my own hands to masturbate.



    Therefore, I don't need a girl with rough hands. A man better than me may want that girl. And that girl may deserve a man who has less sexual need than Mr. Federic - rough hands no good for sex.



  • Federic:

    So you are saying you don't deserve the good girls with qualities? You admit you are the superficial man on the other side of the coin?



  • barbie,



    agree that our world shapes our people. and it's pretty much the case in major cities in the world.



    the thing is, mentality of HK girls are, a bit, weird. I see that ABC will have similar thinkings than Federic, but isn't it sad? I think we have distorted values in HK.



    7 sins is a nice quote



  • Freddy



    sad but as it may seem, I am responding to your thread because you have brought out a good point. This is the .01 % I will have to agree with you on your generalized assessment. I guess you have substantiated your data from your previous tread * a trip to japan *.





  • MM,



    If I look for pretty girls in she.com and she.com becomes my hunting ground, you think I deserve girls with good qualities?

    Even if I think I deserve such girls, I would not dare to admit that without a tirade from a bunch of upset audience here :-)



  • Barbie "I guess you have substantiated your data from your previous tread * a trip to japan *.



    You are "inch" Federic wor..



    haha.



  • Federic



    這只是一個比喻!!



  • barbie - you are very good at math. I need a calculator to do that math even though 99.99% of the time I think I got things right.



  • Federic:

    I don't see that you attempt to come in She.com as hunt girls but this place seems like a let out for you more likely.



    As you indicated you are the emperor of whatever you do.



    There is no proof and whatever you say, but we'll take it based on your story consistency.



    I wonder if you are married or you are just enjoying being in the playboy playground?











  • 基本上, 我唔介意要外出工作&做家頭細務. 反而係我老公想我做"少奶奶", 唔洗我做.



    當然, 我就唔會好似其他女人咁整呢整路, 因為我唔鐘意亂洗$同出街.



    ...hmm, 其實有di男人鐘意老婆做"少奶奶"lor.



  • MM,



    I'm enjoying saying whatever pleases me. It's too stifling to be a CEO in a listed company. You have to put up the mask and say the "politically correct" things all the time. No fun.



    She.com is more fun. Girls I met from she.com are a lot of fun too.



  • lamu,



    You are very lucky. Feel happy for you. Congratulations. May be you have inner beauty that's why you get what you deserve.



  • 男人想一得二

    當女人變成賢妻忙於照顧小孩,老公,家庭,又 要煮飯做家務,邊有咁多時間打扮?到時變左黃面婆,你地d男人endup咪又係去搞搞震



  • Federic: in that case, you are like the historic emperors who dressed as commoner to experience the civilian's life. And enjoy through it because no one recongize his real identity.



    She.com is your civilian playground and you are having fun just like those emperors.



    In such case, I wonder, why do you repeatedly reveal and hint your status? Don't you want to keep as subtle and even not mention about being a CEO as much as possible?





  • 我老公�曭B友ge老婆好多都係"少奶奶".





  • Mr. F

    That is one one the reasons why most of the HK girls are single nowadays.



  • MM,



    Isn't it fun when I told people the truth here, no one believe me? It's their resistance to believe what I said, that made me reveal more about my true self here. Kinda like "Kira" in the comics Death Note. I like the challenge of hiding my identity, while giving out some hints here :-)



  • 男人想要有個樣靚身材正既女人,又要人地有inner beauty,世界上有無咁多perfect既人﹖



  • F: Really, you are going for what you enjoy. No one really cares. It is just like another soul to blow water.



    But that's fine. You are entitle to do whatever pleases you. In the world of she.com, you are just like everybody else.

    This is a free forum, it doesn't have 1st class member, everybody got in free and no obligation.



    If you have time and fun, go ahead. Entertain us with your upper class ass!



  • A passers-by. I do buy Fed's pt. Actually, his pt is not offensive but just pt out a common phenomenon. and usually those so-called pretty gals may pay a price when they eventually understand that their so-called beauty can't last long as time goes by.....or even if they're really pretty when compared to others, the guy may be bored....but a pt is that if their husbands are good enough, they should be more flexible to put up with other bads of the ladies...(so-called gentleman manner....)



    but i also buy 女人's pt. some 當女人變成賢妻忙於照顧小孩,老公,家庭,又 要煮飯做家務,邊有咁多時間打扮?到時變左黃面婆,你地d男人endup咪又係去搞搞震.......



    actually depends on the man's attitude by nature in the very beginning.....



    some're playful even if the other half is not a 黃面婆......and some may not be playful even if the other half is really a 黃面婆.....



  • 上市公司都有好多種



    如果真係上市公司ceo, 咁得閒上she哂料吹水, 間公司好打都有限...我luk叔話嘅



  • 其實香港ge女生有兩極, 一就係好似Federic咁講, 另一種就覺得自己唔洗靠男人.



  • luk叔 replied @ 2008-04-14 2:15 pm



    上市公司都有好多種



    如果真係上市公司ceo, 咁得閒上she哂料吹水, 間公司好打都有限...我luk叔話嘅

    ======================================================================



    Thank you for your advice. Many listed cmpany CEOs have more free time than you think if they have a good management team to take care of day-to-day business. Only bad CEOs need to take care of everything personally. Just my humble opinion.



  • actually, both gals and guys are dream-fighting......asking for difficulty.....eventually, i do believe on the mkt situation and bargaining power (that's why Fed can get along with many gfs, rite?...)....so....good luck to all gals and guy in searching around.....



  • 咁嘅命題一點也不科學, 說一百年都不會有結果



  • luk叔

    If a ceo has to work like a dog, he must be a super dumb ceo, or mini size company's ceo.


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